Resisting the flesh

[LivingbyFaith]

Good...a mans area..

I have a meals on wheels route.

On one of my stops the old ladies grandaughter comes out to get the meal.

She never wears a bra. Her Tshirts are thin. She is not bad looking.:fear

I would rather not be put in this position to where Im tempted to lust.
Thats why I quit porn...which I naively thought would end the lust.
If possible I would stop going there to avoid it altogether.

Im feeding the hungry and dont want to stop that work so I try to look only at her face.
Not having much luck there. Sometimes I look forward to giving her the meal.
Other times the image pops into my head later..

It is a fenced yard with dogs that bite so I have to meet her to hand her the meals. We cant leave meals because they may not be found in time and would spoil. If the client ate them they could get sick.

My heart must not be right, I know..
Im learning that training my eyes to behave is no easy feat.
If my eyes didnt ogle my flesh wouldnt be battling this.

Maybe I could walk backwards and hand her the meal that way.
lol

:gaah

Just venting brothers..confessing..I should pray about this and make my mind up before arriving to look only at her face.

Which of you face such temptations?
Really, do any of you not?

Please share any techniques that work for you that I might be able to apply to this situation.

I would rather not pluck my own eyes out...

Edit to add: Open rebuke is better than secret love, and more beneficial..
If you feel the need to rebuke me I can take it and learn from it.
Also, Im not pervert..this grandaughter is an adult.
Its also an assumption that its her grandaughter.

I hope it's ok if I post a reply here :hide,I'm not a man but I think I may have a bit of good advice for you.
This is something that has helped me tremendously in dealing with other people,not concerning the same type of fleshly struggles you are dealing with,but neverless,I think it could possible help alot.

Try thinking of this lady(and every lady you see or talk to) as a sister in Christ,or a potential sister in Christ. I think if you can shift your thinking to this,then you'll start seeing her and other ladies in a whole new light and maybe this will even help you to witness more. Just keep in your mind that this is one of God's children,one of His loved and valued and watched over children,just as you are.
This has helped me tremendously in how I relate to my husband,and it helps to keep me from reacting in the flesh whenever I'm hurt or upset with him.

Also,maybe you could read and study Proverbs chapter 6&7.

I'll lift up prayer for you concerning this,God bless you!
ASIC

[raptureme]

I'm not sure what was meant by that comment; I was just hoping it was not worded well.

Masturbation is a type of adultery imho. Why? Because sex is supposed to be between a man and his wife; ONLY. With someone else, it's adultery even if that "someone else" is self.

Issachar

This is a difficult question, when you are in a relationship or wed, then i 100% agree with you here.

For a man not in this position it's not so simple, prelonged periods of time (in excess of 100 days) without phyisical release can present a health risk, and increases risk of prostate cancer. In this situation the physical act of release isn't as important as your state of mind. Better controlled physical release at a time of your choice in a controlled situation, without the use of porn, than allowing this to build up and become a major issue. Try and think out is just like blowing your nose, seperate the mind from the act

[No2Flesh]

Livingbyfaith,

Thanks sister.
Thats exactly what Ive been convicted of today, seeing her through the eyes of Our Lord from now on. There is a soul inside there, and it probably needs Him just like I did.

[No2Flesh]

Well I made my route and guess what?
The grand daughter wasnt there to take the meal, her mother was.

I was prepared though, and am applying lessons learned on this thread
throughout my walk.

Its really amazing how many chances to gawk at women
there were all along when you are resisting this urge.
I didnt even realize how often I was looking.
Its very sad to say I even caught my self tempted to do it at church. :doh

Lord please forgive my evil heart and heal me.
As I avoid and resist anything that strengthens this fault inside me.(porn, most tv, etc)

[Angyl]

Just saw this thread today, so sorry if I'm too late to help at all, but one thing that occured to me is for you to remember that you're not wrestling against (this woman's) flesh and blood, but against spirits.

In that light, the next time you see this woman coming across the yard, remember very much the literal demon from hell standing next to her, his eyes locked on yours, waiting for them to slip. Think of it as a battle of wills...yours and God's. It will also help you to understand that demons are very tall beings if they're anything like angels...that'll keep your eyes UP. Focus on it, not her and let this battle take place in the Spiritual realm where it belongs.

[No2Flesh]

Thats helpful my friend.I will use the demon idea on other scantily dressed women to help me keep in mind its a spiritual battle.

This has turned into a general thread that has breached quite a few subjects.
As the originator I welcome any subject and always did..

So let me threadjack with this...

I just had family devotion and it ended badly.
As I was teaching on eternal security and backing it up with verses, my wife brought up "what about the fall from grace verse, you need to tell them that too"..I asked her to find the verse and we would discuss it.
When she found something in Galatians it didnt say what she thought, but instead said we cant count on the law to save us.
She sowed doubt in my daughters minds about the very clear and all important promises of God I had just taught which made me mad.
She was brought up Church of Christ and from what I gather they believe one can lose their salvation. But I thought she had got over that evil lie.

Then it became a "wives have to submit, we cant say nothing",,women lib type of dying swan act.
I lost my cool that she would do this in the middle of our family devotion.
She cast doubt on the scriptures then couldnt even find the scripture
she was talking about.:doh

I reminded her that men are supposed to love their wives too, and gives their lives for them. The submission verse doesnt mean women should be doormats, only that men should lead.
This is very disappointing, I was so happy about the difference devotion was making with our family. unghh.

[Wally]

I have found, when the Lord derails a Bible study, it is often to get everyone digging, reading, studying. It is a growth stimulant. If you do not have them, you should add to your library:

Strong's Exhaustive Concordance
An interlinear Bible - greek-hebrew-KJV-NIV
A Bible Dictionary. Smiths, Perlouet
Good Commentaries, Wiersby, Barnhouser, MacAuthur, Kelley, RBC - remember take them as commentaries, you may disagree, that's OK. CBD has very good prices.

My favorite Bible - Nelson; NKJV Open Bible.

And Remember Context, Context, Context. Who are we talking to. What situation is being addressed, and it must agree with the Rest of the Bible -God does not contradict Himself- it's our understanding that is muddied.

Last Pray: It is the Holy Spirit that gives us ANY understanding of the things of the Lord.

The Bible is clear:
By Grace you are saved, not of works, lest any man should boast Eph 2:8,9
He who believes in the Son shall have everlasting Life John 3:36
If you confess with your mouth and believe God has raised Christ from the dead, you will be saved Rom 10:9

Works are an evidence of your faith. Like driving on the right-hand side of the road in the US, like not eating poison, like paying for your groceries. We do these things beacuse we believe they are right/smart things to do.

If the best we can do is filthy rags, then when the Bible says something that implies losing your salvation buy doing or not doing something, then it is clear, OUR understanding is muddled. Often you will find such statements are linked to a hypothetical "IF it were possible....". Other times is simply the Galations Fruit test or the 1 John analysis. You need to examine your walk as well as those who would preach to you. Is there evidence that you/they have surrendered to Jesus and really believe? If no, then their confession is empty, if yes, then they are traveling the right path. And remember it is a work in progress, some 10%, some 50%, some 100% returns.

Again I encourage you to pray and dig. It's great time with the Lord.

[Wally]

As for the husband / wife issue. Bible says:

The two become one flesh
Wifes: submit (hupotaso - fall into rank) with your husband. forgive spelling please
Husbands: Love as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.

Womens lib (when used to dominate - re Genesis 3:16 -desire to be over husband in some commentaries) is sin - part of the curse. That is why many women have problems with the submit issue. But a married couple must remember it is a 2 part command.

A wife is to submit to a Loving husband who is seeking to follow Christ's example in His sacrifice for the church. Yet who would boss Jesus arround?
The husband is to love his wife as she follows the examples of a godly woman -Supporting her husband and following God's lead.
Remember the prodical wife Prov 31:10, she is wise, industrious, caring, ministering, a businesswoman, a mother, she supports her husband, and in this makes herself a very precious gift from God, and her husband treasures her.

Another idea is that a sergeant submits to the orders of his captain, and although trained and superior in rank, only an idiot officer would not treasure the skill and talent of his experienced NCO's. God established the job descriptions that allow a marriage to be healthy and function properly.

But go back to number one: the two are one flesh. No rational person disregards himself, no, he takes care of himself and typically thinks of himself first. So be it with our wives. Sometimes the husband is the doormat suffering the disobedient -to God- wife, and sometimes it's the frustrated wife suffering under the disobedient -to God- husband.

I have found that I have to regularly examine myself and accept my faults when I make mistakes. I go to God's Word and re-apply it and continue on. Yea, I know it seems we continue to make the same mistakes, but we're not perfect yet. Don't stop, and don't think you've finished. It won't happen until the trumpet sounds (or the Nathan 5-chime airhorn if you are a train buff).

I can challenge my wife but it must be the Holy Spirit who moves her to submission. Never step on the one you love, and if you do apologize and continue in God's way.

Forgive me if I ramble but I find the husband - wife relation is a circle, constant giving and taking, challenges, bumps, valleys, peaks. Aim for perfection, do not give up, accept imperfection and strive to out-bless the other but in love(no medal for being the best blesser). Always with Jesus as a part of the circle - the only One 100% trustworthy.

[No2Flesh]

Thanks Wally,

You are such a good brother. I appreciate you man.:hug

Perhaps this argument last night WAS the Holy Spirit doing His work.
Not the lost tempers of course, but it brought up a discussion between us later on about what EXACTLY saves us.

My wife has lived a very good life, hardly ever stepping out of line from since she was a child to this very day. I believe she may not actually be saved, but was basing her salvation on how good she has been all along instead of 100% on the saving power of Jesus's sacrifice on he cross.

There is no other way to salvation but through Him, and if she has never fully
accepted His payment ALONE for her sins..however few they might be...then IMO she cant be saved.

No man comes to the Father but by Him.

He is the way the truth and the life.

It is an insult to our Father imo that anyone would rely on their own goodness
AT ALL rather than solely on His Son and the perfect sacrifice he made for us at the cross, once and for all.
I constantly have to remind myself that its not my works but Him and
only Him that saves.

She is at the store now, I hope to bring the subject up again as a loving Christian husband when the time is right.
She said last night she wasnt sure she was saved.

:shocked

I was shocked, and then felt very guilty about possibly misinterpreting the work of God at our family devotion.

I can tell there is a pride problem..she hates that very bad sinners can be saved just by faith as a free gift. It doesn't seem fair or right to her even in light of the scriptures that plainly say so.

My prayer is that she will commit her salvation to the blood of Jesus alone, at last.:pray

"What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

She knows this song by heart but maybe never accepted it perfect truth, I taught my kids to sing it at the beginning of devotion.

John 10:1
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.

[romans224]

You know (for me anyway) the hardest thing for a husband is to live fully for Christ. Meaning when I fall into a sin (ie unrighteous angry or a foul mouth) my wife uses this sometimes to justify herself if she does it also instead of taking full blame for her actions. SO as you were saying Love the wife as Christ loves the church is basically what we as husbands are required to do. Sometimes when I am accused of my sins I bringing up the times when Christ is seen through me (ie when wife is fighting and I am calm and talk softly to her trying to calm her down or be able to take control of a situation w/o anger or harsh words.)