pagal
July 8th, 2007, 01:53 PM
I posted this in "anything Goes" but it didn't get much views. If you ladies don't mind, I'd like to get your imput on something.
My Mother, and her sister are in their 60's and have a brian disease that is taking it's course and began quite a few years ago. Symotoms can go back years and often behavior, communication, outburts of emotion can be askew as it begins and progresses. It's fatal. It effects your brain, your muscles etc. These two woman have been wonderful christians who were selfless in caring for BOTH their parents over the past 20 years. We all lived together in the same home. They also have one brother and his wife they are close to but they lived elsewhere with their family.
They cared for their dying mom and then their father later on. After the father died at 93 the Brother was furious to learn he (nor my mom) were left the house and his unmarried sister was given it. He was even more mad when he learned there wasn't much of an estate left (which was to be divided evenely between all 3).
To make a long LONG story short - his sisters never had much. Mom was a widow w/2 young kids (us) and left nothing by her abusive husband that died suddenly. Her sister was unmarried and met financial problems when she was forced into early retirement. Their Mom was dying of this brain disease and their father needed their help. So my mom and us kids moved in to help care for their mom and their Father was like a dad to us kids. A powerful christian God obviously chose for us to be with. We all lived together, sharing resources and my Aunt moved in later on (for about 8 years) and we all lived together happily. At times my mom and aunt weren't always the wisest with finances. Mom had about 10k dept and Aunt couldn't hold a job (due to the disease) and was reliant on their help. They all did the best they could. Never foolish, just bad financial decisions which is common w/this disease.
So, brother has written them off as theifs and refuses to speak to any of us for the past 5 years. I have tried to ask for reconciliation as well as his 2 sisters over and over and no response.
Since his sisters can't clearly communicate the issue any longer (the disease) I feel compelled to argue their cause and explain a few misunderstandings. In order to do so - I need to point out some issues that may inflame him but i feel need to be addressed.
1- Their father decided to give the unmarried daughter the home since she was the one at the time who didn't have one (my mom did and her brother did). This decision was addressed with the 2 daughters and NOT the SON becuase the son and his wife in the past when annoyed refused to speak to EVERYONE in the family regardless of who they were angry at over rather small issues. This upset their dad very much and Dad felt best to keep mum about it since their were grandchildren now involved.
2. Some behavior and askew financial decisions , and communication breakdowns were obvious effects of his sisters brain disease which progresses over years.
3. His insistance on getting the remainder of the house money "or else" as he puts it is unChrist like and is out of Gods will.
4. I pointed out the scripture Luke 12:13 Jesus addresses a man who cries out for him to have his brother give him his share of an inheritance" Jesus relies" Man, who made me a judge or arbritrater over you? - Take heed and beware of greed , for ones life does not consist in the abundance of things he possesses".
Brother and wife have 2 beautiful homes, a lovely fishing boat, a caddy and are financially well off. His sisters will evetually use this 80k to pay for nursing care as their health will eventually deteriorate over the next few years.
My letter points out boldy their hearts for their parents , their caring for them, their good intentions and that his theory that something fraudulent went on is untrue. I pointed out that we must bring peace to the family as we Honor God with our hearts toward one another.
Now, this is a strong letter. Not rude but direct on some issues that I point out. I point out over and over that I love them, that I believe the BEST in them BOTH but this situation is wrong....... IS THIS WRONG?
I need some advice before sending this off.
My Mother, and her sister are in their 60's and have a brian disease that is taking it's course and began quite a few years ago. Symotoms can go back years and often behavior, communication, outburts of emotion can be askew as it begins and progresses. It's fatal. It effects your brain, your muscles etc. These two woman have been wonderful christians who were selfless in caring for BOTH their parents over the past 20 years. We all lived together in the same home. They also have one brother and his wife they are close to but they lived elsewhere with their family.
They cared for their dying mom and then their father later on. After the father died at 93 the Brother was furious to learn he (nor my mom) were left the house and his unmarried sister was given it. He was even more mad when he learned there wasn't much of an estate left (which was to be divided evenely between all 3).
To make a long LONG story short - his sisters never had much. Mom was a widow w/2 young kids (us) and left nothing by her abusive husband that died suddenly. Her sister was unmarried and met financial problems when she was forced into early retirement. Their Mom was dying of this brain disease and their father needed their help. So my mom and us kids moved in to help care for their mom and their Father was like a dad to us kids. A powerful christian God obviously chose for us to be with. We all lived together, sharing resources and my Aunt moved in later on (for about 8 years) and we all lived together happily. At times my mom and aunt weren't always the wisest with finances. Mom had about 10k dept and Aunt couldn't hold a job (due to the disease) and was reliant on their help. They all did the best they could. Never foolish, just bad financial decisions which is common w/this disease.
So, brother has written them off as theifs and refuses to speak to any of us for the past 5 years. I have tried to ask for reconciliation as well as his 2 sisters over and over and no response.
Since his sisters can't clearly communicate the issue any longer (the disease) I feel compelled to argue their cause and explain a few misunderstandings. In order to do so - I need to point out some issues that may inflame him but i feel need to be addressed.
1- Their father decided to give the unmarried daughter the home since she was the one at the time who didn't have one (my mom did and her brother did). This decision was addressed with the 2 daughters and NOT the SON becuase the son and his wife in the past when annoyed refused to speak to EVERYONE in the family regardless of who they were angry at over rather small issues. This upset their dad very much and Dad felt best to keep mum about it since their were grandchildren now involved.
2. Some behavior and askew financial decisions , and communication breakdowns were obvious effects of his sisters brain disease which progresses over years.
3. His insistance on getting the remainder of the house money "or else" as he puts it is unChrist like and is out of Gods will.
4. I pointed out the scripture Luke 12:13 Jesus addresses a man who cries out for him to have his brother give him his share of an inheritance" Jesus relies" Man, who made me a judge or arbritrater over you? - Take heed and beware of greed , for ones life does not consist in the abundance of things he possesses".
Brother and wife have 2 beautiful homes, a lovely fishing boat, a caddy and are financially well off. His sisters will evetually use this 80k to pay for nursing care as their health will eventually deteriorate over the next few years.
My letter points out boldy their hearts for their parents , their caring for them, their good intentions and that his theory that something fraudulent went on is untrue. I pointed out that we must bring peace to the family as we Honor God with our hearts toward one another.
Now, this is a strong letter. Not rude but direct on some issues that I point out. I point out over and over that I love them, that I believe the BEST in them BOTH but this situation is wrong....... IS THIS WRONG?
I need some advice before sending this off.