Good Joke

[Frontiersteel]

(Just a joke)I'm sorry if this has been posted...I thought it was pretty good.

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.An angel hears his plea and appears to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, “You brought pavement?!!!”

[DUB]

Funny

[novembergirl]

Now, that's a good one!

[icebear]

:aha always good!

[Hootmon]

A local minister was walking past the side of his church one day when he heard the intoning of a prayer that caught his attention.

Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead bird. The young lad, feeling that proper burial should be performed, had procured a small box and dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the Sonnn.....and into the hole he gooooes."

[Frontiersteel]

This one here is really good

The Cleaning Woman
There was a little old cleaning woman that went to the local church. When the invitation was given at
the end of the service, she went forward wanting to become a member. The pastor listened as she told
him how she had accepted Jesus and wanted to be baptized and become a member of the church.
The pastor thought to himself, "oh my, she is so unkempt, even smells a little, and her fingernails are
not clean. She picks up garbage, cleans toilets - what would the members think of her." He told her that
she needed to go home and pray about it and then decide.
The following week, here she came again. She told the pastor that she had prayed about it and still
wanted to be baptized. "I have passed this church for so long. It is so beautiful, and I truly want to
become a member."
Again the pastor told her to go home and pray some more. A few weeks later while out eating at the
restaurant, the pastor saw the little old lady. He did not want her to think that he was ignoring her so he
approached her and said, "I have not seen you for a while. Is everything all right?"
"Oh, yes," she said. "I talked with Jesus, and he told me not to worry about becoming a member of
your church."
"He did?" said the pastor.
"Oh, yes" she replied. "He said even He hasn't been able to get into your church yet, and He's been
trying for years."

[icebear]

:aha

very good!

[Lisa in OK]

Once there was a painter who was very poor. When his parish church needed repainting the members of the congregation and the church elders got together and when bids were considered for the job, offered him the job because while his bid was not the lowest it was close and he was of their congregation. So the painter bought paint for the job and set to work. When he got about three quarters of the job finished it became apparent that he wouldnt have enough paint. Well his bid was about as low as he could go and so he decided to thin his paint some so that it would spread farther. Well he got about half of the remainder done and concluded that he would have to thin what he had left just a little and his paint would strech to cover the whole church.

Unfortunately, that night a terrible storm came to the town and when the painter was awakened by the crash of thunder he realized the thinned paint wouldnt stick to walls of he church and would be washed away. Well then the painter is panicked and he realizes that he has betrayed the trust put in him by his neighbors and that he will be shamed in front of everyone.

As soon as the next day has dawned, he rushed out of the house to the church and sees all of the thinned paint covering the lawn in front of the church. Faced with humiliation and possible ruin of his business, he does what is only natural and falls down on his knees and prays.

"God," he says, "please forgive me and help me to see the error of my ways." Just then the heavens open above him and he is bathed in a pearly radiance from above. A voice can be heard in the sudden stillness of the morning that rings as if it comes from Heaven itself. God speaks to the painter and says: "Repaint and thin no more!"

[SharpSabre]

although many will moan and groan.... i like it!

[1angel4u]

This one here is really good

The Cleaning Woman
There was a little old cleaning woman that went to the local church. When the invitation was given at
the end of the service, she went forward wanting to become a member. The pastor listened as she told
him how she had accepted Jesus and wanted to be baptized and become a member of the church.
The pastor thought to himself, "oh my, she is so unkempt, even smells a little, and her fingernails are
not clean. She picks up garbage, cleans toilets - what would the members think of her." He told her that
she needed to go home and pray about it and then decide.
The following week, here she came again. She told the pastor that she had prayed about it and still
wanted to be baptized. "I have passed this church for so long. It is so beautiful, and I truly want to
become a member."
Again the pastor told her to go home and pray some more. A few weeks later while out eating at the
restaurant, the pastor saw the little old lady. He did not want her to think that he was ignoring her so he
approached her and said, "I have not seen you for a while. Is everything all right?"
"Oh, yes," she said. "I talked with Jesus, and he told me not to worry about becoming a member of
your church."
"He did?" said the pastor.
"Oh, yes" she replied. "He said even He hasn't been able to get into your church yet, and He's been
trying for years."

Hadn't heard this one before! :pound It's Great!!! :thumb