Quinton
February 8th, 2009, 04:45 PM
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" His mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
God: "Whew! I just created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "I'm tired, let's just call it a day."
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
If Students Wrote the Bible
Q. Why was the woman in the Bible turned into a pillar of salt?
A. Because she was dissatisfied with her lot.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning – cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five – double-spaced and written in a large font.
New edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don't know where it's been!
9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!
5. Noah! No, you can't keep them! I told you, don't bring home any more strays!
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes!
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
And the number one biblical saying of mothers is:
1. Jesus! Stop working on that old wood and come in and eat! You'd spend your life on that wood, if your father asked ya to!
:lol2
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" His mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
God: "Whew! I just created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "I'm tired, let's just call it a day."
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
If Students Wrote the Bible
Q. Why was the woman in the Bible turned into a pillar of salt?
A. Because she was dissatisfied with her lot.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning – cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five – double-spaced and written in a large font.
New edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don't know where it's been!
9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!
5. Noah! No, you can't keep them! I told you, don't bring home any more strays!
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes!
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
And the number one biblical saying of mothers is:
1. Jesus! Stop working on that old wood and come in and eat! You'd spend your life on that wood, if your father asked ya to!
:lol2