Homeschooling Non-Motivated Children

[MidnightCry]

Okay, gals . . . I almost titled this thread "The Dark Side of Homeschooling" because I am just SO tired of trying to motivate my oldest (10) daughter. As I speak, the paperwork for enrolling her in our church's awesome private school is sitting on my desk half-filled out.

I have to prod this child ALL day long and the work she turns in (if she turns it in) is half-baked every time. She does the minimum just to get by, probably because she just wants to be playing. She's a very sweet, kind, happy girl and to MY blame, I am probably not hard enough on her. I am very frustrated with her and wonder if she will rise to a higher level of performance for other teachers (if we send her to school next year). She will be 5th grade then and needing to get over the easy life that homeschooling can provide and start learning good study habits as well as applying herself more.

I could see how homeschooling all the way through works for children who are self-disciplined and motivated but what about the children who aren't?

Any advice?

[Cookies4me]

My daughter was/is the same way. She will be 13 next week :panic. We have been having a battle as to what she should and should not be doing. Take book reading for example. I want her to do a book study on the books I choose ever other book she reads. She was giving me big additude and told me that kids her age get to choose their books. :rolleyes
So I had her start asking "school" kids her age what the teacher makes them read at school. Guess who was right? We have come to an agreement. Every other book she reads is my book and I give her a list of books I approve of as lit books and she can pick from that.

She has always been my fighter. Always will. She is sooooo much like me :madgrin

[NewWorldOrder]

Teaching a child who has no motivation is very frustrating. Not knowing what kind of schedule you keep or what curriculum you use, it's a little hard to give advice. It could be that the curriculum you are using is too "schoolish" and takes a long time to do, or it could be any number of other factors and trying to pinpoint the main reason behind it can be challenging.

I've been homeschooling for over ten years, and I've been where you are even seriously considering putting them back in private school, but I held fast. You may want to try several different approaches to your homeschooling. Try doing certain subjects on certain days of the week i.e. math on Mon, Wed, and Fri., language on Tues and Thurs. just as an example.

Another option is to find a homeschool co-op that holds classes a couple of days a week. When my oldest hit high school age, we found a wonderful co-op and that's where she takes most of her core classes. Well, we liked it so much I started letting my 9 year old take classes there too. This year she is taking math, science, art and grammar with our co-op. They take classes two days a week, and then they are assigned work to do at home the rest of the week, what classes they don't take through the co-op they learn at home. We really love it, because it puts the kids into a classroom with other children and makes me more accountable. The classes are taught by other parents who basically volunteer to do this in exchange for their kids taking classes there. I volunteer my time in exchange for a tuition discount which works out great. Every parent is required to participate in some compacity, because it's not a school it's a group of homeschoolers coming together to help each other teach.

Whatever you do, please don't think you're failing your child. You just have to find what works for her, even if that means scrapping the curriculum you are using and doing something different. I've done that quite a bit over the years because a curriculum I thought would be great turned out not to be so great for us, so I tried something else until I found something that worked for us. Keep trying, and don't give up. :hug

[MidnightCry]

Another option is to find a homeschool co-op that holds classes a couple of days a week. When my oldest hit high school age, we found a wonderful co-op and that's where she takes most of her core classes. Well, we liked it so much I started letting my 9 year old take classes there too. This year she is taking math, science, art and grammar with our co-op. They take classes two days a week, and then they are assigned work to do at home the rest of the week, what classes they don't take through the co-op they learn at home. We really love it, because it puts the kids into a classroom with other children and makes me more accountable. The classes are taught by other parents who basically volunteer to do this in exchange for their kids taking classes there. I volunteer my time in exchange for a tuition discount which works out great. Every parent is required to participate in some compacity, because it's not a school it's a group of homeschoolers coming together to help each other teach.

Whatever you do, please don't think you're failing your child. You just have to find what works for her, even if that means scrapping the curriculum you are using and doing something different. I've done that quite a bit over the years because a curriculum I thought would be great turned out not to be so great for us, so I tried something else until I found something that worked for us. Keep trying, and don't give up. :hug

This is our sixth (or so) year of homeschooling. We have a wonderful co-op in our church that we're currently not part of (did it for three years or so) because we chose other opportunities this year -- Community Bible Study and a private writing class. It's pretty much how she is geared (not just her schoolwork). She is very irresponsible/unmotivated in everything except playing! Sure, could be typical for her age, but, technically (by age) she COULD be in 6th grade next year. When I think of the demands of middle school for her, I laugh -- she is NOwhere ready or interested.

Yeah, our curriculum could always be more fun and interesting, but . . . we do a mixture of workbooks and activities. I'll be honest, the workbook approach works for ME because it's thorough, and I have three kids. Our friends who have children in Christian school are EXCITED about doing the projects they're assigned (I can't imagine!). She does best when I really hold her hand and help her on every problem. Her work is sloppy and minimal. I've gone around and around about it but nothing has worked. Her attitude has improved this year, at least, because I am enforcing a reward program. But what reward is there (in her mind) for doing her best in her work? She could care less about schoolwork and therein lies the problem, I would say!

Of course, we are praying for wisdom about next year.

[truthwarrior]

I have the same problem with my almost 15 year old- She has been doing well on online classes with K12 program. She will be going into a Classical School next year. These schools are great because they take care of certain subjects, yet you have the flexibility. They tend to be very Biblically based and usually you have the option for three day, two day, or every day.

[Architectlink]

wow, it is strange to see this comment about girls...most of my friends with BOYS are saying the same things.

One of the solutions I have found is the parent partnership that some schools offer, where there is a parent in the back of the classroom helping the teacher...the kids seems do pay attention to the teacher better when dad is sitting at the back of the classroom.

It is difficult these days...keep us posted what works.

[Midnightcryer]

My oldest daughter is extrememly responsible, but then my two youngest are ALWAYS fussing with each other and wandering around looking for lost books and pencils etc... We do a homeschool co-op one day a week and music lessons. I have really just had to buckle down, but it is almost a punishment to me when I have to do that. I began removing all of the fun stuff when they don't get their work done. One day I had to have them both stay at home while dad took the oldest and a friend to a museum exhibit with her friend while they stayed at home. They also get no tv/computer/video/play time until school and chores are finished. This has helped somewhat but it is still a struggle. I also send them back to re-do all of their work that is sloppy and half-done, which takes them even more time, but they seem to be catching on to the "NO PLAY" rule.