Hard place to be

[HSmomto4]

I was at my morning bible study and we were talking about one of my friends whose husband travels a lot with his job. He has a very strange job where he delivers planes and checks them over before he delivers them. He can be in Germany or France or anywhere in the world for 2 to 3 months at a time. Well they had their first baby this year and so far she has been going with him everywhere and has missed her family but glad that she has been with him and traveled the world. Well he got his next job and it is in December. He would be in France for 5 weeks and then home for 2 months and then go back for two months. This is causing a lot of problems between them because she doesn't want to be gone for Christmas and she wants him home as well. There is no way he can fly home for Christmas so that is out of the question.

So here is the hard place...After listening to her say how he wasn't praying about it and wasn't thinking about her and basically throwing a hissy fit in the room with us I said something that went over like a lead balloon. I said it didn't matter if he went or not, but she had to honor his decision. Now they have talked about it so he knows how she feels so it isn't the case of him not listening to her or taking her thoughts in consideration, this is about her not liking his decision to take the job and throwing a fit about it. Well after I said this she got mad and said but he isn't praying about it, he doesn't know if it is the right thing to do or not, he is doing it without asking God. And the lead balloon got heavier...I said to her it doesn't matter if he is praying about it or not, he is the leader of your house and if he feels like he has to take this job then you as his wife have to except it and with a joyful heart. She was steaming at me you could tell, but during prayer time she did thank God for my words and being brave enough to say them.

It was really hard telling her those things and I felt really bad about saying anything that upset her, but she had to hear it! I have a feeling I'm not going to have to many friends being in the ministry God has called my husband and I into. :ohno

[Deepcallstodeep]

I wonder, is she asking God to give her wisdom and insight, too? And for her husband's wisdom and insight? The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martin (sp?) helped me a lot with this.

I know the Lord has convicted me about things that are shared either by me or by others in Bible study or in prayer meetings under the guise of prayer requests, that are in fact gossipy and belittling to my husband or a friend.

Anyway I support your response 100%, the submission thing can be so hard to get our heads around as women in this day and age, but it is something we need to pray to the Lord about, to soften our hearts and remove our pride.

It sounds like you care more about pleasing God than men and you were very brave! :hug

[HSmomto4]

We just finished The Power of A Praying Wife in that bible study. We are now moving on to the parents one. She is praying, I just think she has been praying for it to be what she wants and she needs to ask what God wants. I love this lady, she is a really good friend of mine and I think she knows she has to let her husband lead.

[Mountain Girl]

[QUOTE=HSmomto4;124329].
I said it didn't matter if he went or not, but she had to honor his decision.

Whew, it's tough to speak truth to a friend who doesn't want to hear it.

I wonder if it would help to read any of Ruth Graham's books. She was home alone for months at a time.

I wish she realized how fortunate she is to have a healthy, hard-working hubby.

[Deepcallstodeep]

I sure can relate to your friend. I have to pray a lot about submitting to my husband. I am stubborn and selfish. :) I can see why she would want her family together at Christmas, and I can also see the other side where her husband is trying to provide for his family. God can sort all these things out even when it seems impossible!

But just reading your thread here was a good reminder to me today, too.

So, thank you.

[adam423]

Stormie's book helped my marriage out alot too. There's another book called, The Excellent Wife, that's good too. Sometimes, it is hard to be submissive to your husband, but that's what we've been called to do as their wives.

Pray for your friend....I will too.

[smilinnow]

HSmomto4, I think you responded wonderfully to your friend. Not only were you Scriptural in your response, but you also were honest, and honesty is key in any real friendship.

Being a true friend is not constantly agreeing with someone and telling them what they want to hear...being a true friend is telling them the truth in love, and what you feel they need to hear.

And, if they are your friend in return, they will appreciate that, even if they disagree or initially become angry. Real friends work through that, and often end up being closer for it.

I had gone through a similar situation with a friend. She called me when the bottom was falling out of her world. She wanted sympathy, but what she got was tough love, because she'd been making some bad decisions and choices. Luckily, she was receptive to hearing it, straightened herself out, and we are closer than ever before. Friends of mine have done the same thing for me.

You did well, sister...and I believe God will bless you for your honesty, your witness, and your ability to be a real friend. :nod

Prayers for both of you!

Blessings,

Smilin

[smilinnow]

Stormie's book helped my marriage out alot too. There's another book called, The Excellent Wife, that's good too. Sometimes, it is hard to be submissive to your husband, but that's what we've been called to do as their wives.

"The Excellent Wife" is a wonderful book! :nod It also helped me, too.

[Sapphiregrl]

I said to her it doesn't matter if he is praying about it or not, he is the leader of your house and if he feels like he has to take this job then you as his wife have to except it and with a joyful heart.
So wives aren't to just accept it, but must be joyful in their acceptance, even when hubby is making a bad decision about something?

[Kristina]

HSmomto4, I think you responded wonderfully to your friend. Not only were you Scriptural in your response, but you also were honest, and honesty is key in any real friendship.



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