Knowing God's Will for Your Family

[EmmieAZ]

I am really struggling. I don't know if it is God's will that I continue homeschooling or not (only did K with DD). I have been in prayer for months and am still unsure. Sometime I feel that my reasons for not homeschooling are selfish in nature, but other times I feel like I would be a better Mom if my kids were in school. I feel like I would yell and nag less, would be able to get my "stuff" done so that when I am with the kids, I would focus more on them. Plus, my DD is very social and lives for the times she is with her peers. But she is also a homebody who says that she wants to homeschool. I also feel very scared, thinking that because of my sometimes short fuse I will do more harm than good and actually turn my kids away from God rather than to Him. I feel like sometimes I use homeshooling thinking that they have a better chance of being saved, if that makes any sense. Like there is less damage control from outside influences, but at the same time, it is scary how much I influence them. DH is supportive of my choices, and actually want sme to continue to HS, but I also feel alone, like whatever I choose to do, he lets the burden rest on me. Anyway, I am having a very hard time right now. Has anyone been here? What did you do?

[His Bride]

When my son, now 21, was in fourth grade he begged me to homeschool him. He was diagnosed with mild ADD. For the next three plus years I homeschooled him and his younger sister. I wasn't sure if I was to continue homeschooling after that. After much prayer and commitment to continue if that was what the Lord wanted, the Lord told me to go ahead and mainstream them. He only wanted to see if I would be WILLING to continue. I put them back in public school and all went well.

Sometimes God tests us to see what our answer will be. He wants our willing obedience.

[EmmieAZ]

Hi His Bride. I see what you are saying, and that maybe it is a matter of my will vs His Will. That could be it, but that is why I am so confused. Sometimes I think that it is His will that we HS, other times I think that it is out of fear that I do - the whole better chance of salvation thing, and not necessarily His will. I feel at this point like I am deciding between the lesser of two evils. The evils of the indoctrination that goes with the PS system, or having me who has temperament issues (anger, impatience, self control) being their number one influence.

[His Bride]

Hi His Bride. I see what you are saying, and that maybe it is a matter of my will vs His Will. That could be it, but that is why I am so confused. Sometimes I think that it is His will that we HS, other times I think that it is out of fear that I do - the whole better chance of salvation thing, and not necessarily His will. I feel at this point like I am deciding between the lesser of two evils. The evils of the indoctrination that goes with the PS system, or having me who has temperament issues (anger, impatience, self control) being their number one influence.

I'm not sure what you PS system is like. Ours is one of the best in our state. So, that was a good thing. As far as the negative influences, well, there are negative influences in Christian schools too. You, as a parent, know your child better than anyone. You also know that you are obligated as a Christian to do whatever is in your power to help your child to grow up. You will answer to the Lord one day. There really isn't anything wrong with sending your child to school outside of the home as long as you are on top of it all the way! That's always been my philosophy. Nothing is perfect, not even homeschooling.

I do feel for you. It isn't easy to always know what is best. But through prayer the Lord will show you. Also look for confirmation from others who are not biased one way or the other. And when you make your decision, realize that it isn't written in stone. You aren't going to have to make a 12 year commitment. You are allowed to change your mind as you evaluate your decision. You'll be fine and it will all work out!:hug God bless.

[Lynn]

Emmie, home schooling children is another 'full-time' job on top of the other 'full-time' job of making a home run smoothly for your family. However, having said that, is it possible that in your area there is a home school academy (that's what they're called around here)? These are schools set up for home school families, and the children attend the HS academy (nominal tuition) one or more days, while home schooling with mom the rest of the week. It works wonderfully, because the moms get a chance to get caught up at home, run errands, spend time with younger, pre-school children in the family, or maybe take some time for herself.

You are right to be concerned about the influences at public school. Our children are grown, but HS would be my option today, for sure. No offense meant to any of the Christian teachers out there. I used to be a teacher, too, and there are some fine folks working hard to help our kids. I know that.

My suggestion would be to look into HS academies, and if that isn't an option, have any of the other HS moms thought about providing the instruction in turns with the other moms? I've seen this done, too, where someone 'specializes' in certain subjects, and someone else takes the children for other areas of study, etc. This provides each mom a couple of days' break from HS schedule.
Just my .02

[Reason&Hope]

"Anger, impatience, self-control." Boy, do I know those three!

Homeschooling isn't just about raising more godly kids, or about better academics (my other top reason). Homeschooling is also a way for God to work on your character.

I know, because He has with me. I've had to learn patience and self-control and kindness in homeschooling my three kids. (They are now 16, 14 and almost 12, by the way.) I've dealt with tears over pre-algebra, sleepy teenagers, kids who would rather play Star Wars Battlefront than write a paper . . .

And all through it I have clung to the verse, 2 Cor. 3:5. "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God."

Through it all, I have become a much calmer person, more patient, more able to control my anger. To daughter: "Okay, dear, why we both take a break [from pre-algebra] and come back to it when you're ready." Romans 2:4 says that God's kindness leads to our repentance; and I found for my daughter, that my kindness to her in math led to her feeling that she had a helper and someone on her side. Our relationship actually grew stronger through the struggles over math, and she actually finished her math early this year!

God bless you as you pray over this.

[NewWorldOrder]

"Anger, impatience, self-control." Boy, do I know those three!

Homeschooling isn't just about raising more godly kids, or about better academics (my other top reason). Homeschooling is also a way for God to work on your character.

I know, because He has with me. I've had to learn patience and self-control and kindness in homeschooling my three kids. (They are now 16, 14 and almost 12, by the way.) I've dealt with tears over pre-algebra, sleepy teenagers, kids who would rather play Star Wars Battlefront than write a paper . . .

And all through it I have clung to the verse, 2 Cor. 3:5. "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God."

Through it all, I have become a much calmer person, more patient, more able to control my anger. To daughter: "Okay, dear, why we both take a break [from pre-algebra] and come back to it when you're ready." Romans 2:4 says that God's kindness leads to our repentance; and I found for my daughter, that my kindness to her in math led to her feeling that she had a helper and someone on her side. Our relationship actually grew stronger through the struggles over math, and she actually finished her math early this year!

God bless you as you pray over this.


Excellent post!!!

You are so on target. It's amazing what we learn about ourselves when we start homeschooling.