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Thread: Cats & Dogs...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    In the world but not of it
    Posts
    14,427

    Default Cats & Dogs...

    .
    Notice to be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
    Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

  2. #2
    WalkTheLine Guest

    Default

    The cats are playing the roll of the liege today!


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.Cental BC, Canada
    Posts
    6,574

    Default

    1 John 4 : 4
    Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    In the minds of millions
    Posts
    5,189

    Default



    My DW has 4 cats and a dog sleeping with her, she will get up in the morning complaining about not having the ability to stretch out at night and how it takes 45 minutes for each one to find that right spot.

  5. #5
    WalkTheLine Guest

    Default

    For Amber Lynn, Cause it was just to good to pass up.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Kent Hollow
    Posts
    39,757

    Default

    Thanks for the smile

  7. #7
    Meg Guest

    Default


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    southeastern Oklahoma
    Posts
    2,929

    Default

    I love it!!!


    “God is right here, right now, ready to trade your burden for peace. Not just a little peace, but because of His amazing grace, complete peace. If you want your family to trust you, you’ve got to show them whom you trust.”—Tess on “Touched by an Angel”

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Barfoofville
    Posts
    9,830

    Default

    Thats the best thing ever!! I'm gonna post that on my fridge!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Houston, Texas, just moved
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    My momma cat has already taught her kittens how to open the bathroom door. Now I have three visitors in the bathroom. Privacy is a thing of the past.

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