Mother in law

[24thchance]

A fellow is walking down the beach and comes upon a bottle with a genie inside. He picks the bottle up, uncorks it, and the genie says, "Thanks for letting me out, I've been couped up in there for awhile. For your generosity, I will grant you 3 wishes, but understand, that only under this condition: whatever you ask for, your mother-in-law gets double." The guy agrees, and immediately asks for 2 million dollars. So, poof, he has a suitcase next to him, with 2 million dollars in it, and two suitcases with 4 million dollars is sent to his mother-in-law. His second wish is for a home in Beverly Hills, so he gets the deed to a home in Beverly Hills, and his mother-in-law gets 2 homes in Beverly Hills. Then the genie says, "OK, what is your final wish?" The guy thinks for a minute, and then says, "I want you to beat me half to death!"

[novembergirl]

That one cracked me up!

[chrisb01]

My mother-in-law gargles with Drano.

My mother-in-law is so ugly, her face is registered as a deadly weapon.

[heart_changed99]

[Seemomgonuts]

[pssgrace]

awwww that was soooooooooooo mean, lol!!!!!

[bebebozqueen]

my MIL is a sweetheart.

[yogi3939]

Actually, my MIL from my first marriage was a far nicer person than her daughter.

[jadeeyes]

my MIL is a sweetheart.

So is my son-in-law's.

[Anddra]

So is my son-in-law's.

[LovebirdsFlying]

My mother in law is a nice person.

So I apply all the standard mother in law jokes to my ex sister in law instead. Once while posting a recipe online, I couldn't resist the joke I suddenly realized I'd set up: "I was looking for something fast, cheap, and easy--besides my ex sister in law, that is."

[peaceseeker]

Attachment 647

[yogi3939]

A man was severely burned on the lower part of his face in a work accident. The doctor decided that he needed a skin graft to repair the damage and since he was a very hairy person on his thighs, legs, and back; but nowhere else, the doctor decided that the only suitable area to take the graft from was his buttocks. After the operation to do the graft he asked his wife not to tell her mother where the grafted skin was taken from. When she asked him why he replied "I don't really think she needs to know why I am suddenly going to start smiling so much when she kisses me on the cheek"!!!!

[chrisb01]

A man was severely burned on the lower part of his face in a work accident. The doctor decided that he needed a skin graft to repair the damage and since he was a very hairy person on his thighs, legs, and back; but nowhere else, the doctor decided that the only suitable area to take the graft from was his buttocks. After the operation to do the graft he asked his wife not to tell her mother where the grafted skin was taken from. When she asked him why he replied "I don't really think she needs to know why I am suddenly going to start smiling so much when she kisses me on the cheek"!!!!

I love it...

[chrisb01]

Last week my MIL got me in trouble with my neighbors.

She got bitten by my neighbor's dog.

Three days later the dog died of rabies.

[GeoWolf]

A man took his Saint Bernard to the vet.

"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."

The vet stepped back, "Why should I do such a terrible thing?"

"Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome.

[24thchance]

How about the guy who in a terrible accident lost the entire left side of his body?


He was all right after that.