The Dating/Courting/Single and praying for a husband thread

[Genesis22]

I wanted to start this thread for all of the women/girls on here who are single (or dating/courting) and are praying for a husband. This thread is to share your stories, to talk about your current courting or dating situations, and to help each other when we need Godly advice on the subject. Obviously we should seek God and His advice before anyone else's, but I know from personal experience that patience and waiting can be hard at times, and it helps a lot to have other Godly people to talk to too. I also think it will be really neat to see how everyone's stories change; especially when some of us start getting married.

If this type of thread isn't allowed, or if there already is one that I missed, feel free to delete or lock it.

[Vitajay85]

I believe a woman should NOT be out there "hunting" for a man. I refuse to do that. I keep myself as a "Ruth", handling my business and waiting for my Boaz to find me. The bad thing is that I've observed how women are desperate for a man. Godly women will WAIT patiently if they want a husband. Let God be your matchmaker. I don't even go for going online to Match.com or other online searches for a man. That may work for some, but it's not for me. If he's NOT a Christian and have Christian values, you cannot change him. I see women who are compromising...they are so desperate that they are doing the providing (home, food, etc.) for a man. I live alone and the last man who stayed with me and I supported him....he was the man I gave birth to (my son) and now he's on his own. We have to do it God's way....for any other way will NOT work. And don't let folks make you feel that you are "insufficient" without a man. I am a happy single. I enjoy my single life and even if I never marry, I will still be happy. Happiness does not evolve around having a man...happiness evolves around being the daughter of the Most High....only HE alone can make you happy. But if you want to get married, just trust and wait on God. Don't sit up in the house all day...get out! And I must say this....I dare not go to a BAR or nightclub....those folks who hang out there are NOT Christians. Also, be careful about what is attending church, for there are alot of Bozos in the church. Use discernment and seek God's counsel on all things.

[Amber Lynne]

I believe a woman should NOT be out there "hunting" for a man. I refuse to do that. I keep myself as a "Ruth", handling my business and waiting for my Boaz to find me. The bad thing is that I've observed how women are desperate for a man. Godly women will WAIT patiently if they want a husband. Let God be your matchmaker. I don't even go for going online to Match.com or other online searches for a man. That may work for some, but it's not for me. If he's NOT a Christian and have Christian values, you cannot change him. I see women who are compromising...they are so desperate that they are doing the providing (home, food, etc.) for a man. I live alone and the last man who stayed with me and I supported him....he was the man I gave birth to (my son) and now he's on his own. We have to do it God's way....for any other way will NOT work. And don't let folks make you feel that you are "insufficient" without a man. I am a happy single. I enjoy my single life and even if I never marry, I will still be happy. Happiness does not evolve around having a man...happiness evolves around being the daughter of the Most High....only HE alone can make you happy. But if you want to get married, just trust and wait on God. Don't sit up in the house all day...get out! And I must say this....I dare not go to a BAR or nightclub....those folks who hang out there are NOT Christians. Also, be careful about what is attending church, for there are alot of Bozos in the church. Use discernment and seek God's counsel on all things.

[onceblind]

I’m another single sister. I also have a social disability. It’s hard for me to meet someone unless it is online. Parties are a nightmare. I’ve dated some “winners” in my day like many of us have, even though I’m very discriminating. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was in my early thirties. The supposed love of my life wound up with my parents car and then dumped me. (It’s a long and convoluted story.) The guy I’m sort of dating right now happened to be a deacon in a Protestant church. So he has some spiritual insight. It’s hard for us to get together because he needs a weekend job to pay the bills. He’s a really nice guy. I’m praying God leads me in the right direction and I end up with whoever is meant for me, be it him, someone else, or to be happy if I’m meant to be alone.

[Acts5:41]

Well, you can read my thread.

I would like to add a few points: we have had at least a few board marriages that I know of; and as far as I know they are still together.

Blind; you know my own disability makes social things hard; I don't see anything wrong with looking on your high ground.

My grandmother gave me excellent advice: she was widowed when she was a little older than I am now. She had a college degree and went to work after Grandpa died. She always told me, even if I married young (which I did), to have job skills that could enable me to support myself, because "You never know". Good advice.

Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Jesus! He will give you intimacy, warmth, and companionship you can only approximate with a human! He NEVER fails; something that's important to me right now.

[RosettaLuv]

Yeah I'm single too. I have dated this one guy. He was the first guy who ever liked me and the first guy I ever dated. We broke up because we weren't as compatible as we though. (plus he was a non-believer). I know, pretty stupid of me to date a non-believer, but I never had attracted a guy before. I know I'm not ready for marriage anytime soon, but I wish for prayer to find the right guy when the time comes.

[Genesis22]

I absolutely love and agree with everything said here so far. I especially love what someone said about not seeking and letting God naturally bring the person to you. That is what I am working on.

I haven't ever had an official relationship (I'm 17), but there was one guy (a Christian) who I was considering......and yesterday I pretty much got confirmation that I shouldn't be with him. We liked each other since I first became a Christian in February, so the emotions are going to take a little while to completely go away, but I know now that he isn't the one and that I probably haven't met my husband yet. Its kind of cool to know that I still get to have the experience of meeting my husband for the first time and that it probably hasn't happened yet.

The guy who I was considering....he likes someone else (also a very strong Christian), and that is the confirmation that I had asked God for- for him to confirm that he doesn't want to be with me that way any more. And he did. It sounds like a sad thing, but it's really not. It's kind of a relief that I don't have to wonder any more. I mean, of course God could bring us back together later....but I really don't thnk so and I refuse to focus on that.

[Acts5:41]

It is.

I DEEPLY cared for a young man in my youth group; but it wasn't meant to be. I will always love him, and I truly wish him well.

I hope he has a delightful, loving family.

[Genesis22]

This guy is from my youth group too. We're still extremely good friends, and most likely will be forever. He is amazing and I am SURE that God has an excitng future planned for him. I'm just looking at the bigger picture and realizing that he is most likely not my husband. I still believe that it is God's will for us to be close and strengthen each other's faith.....but just through a brother/sister type friendship and nothing more.

[Jesusrules]

Great thread! I am currently a single mom back out on the dating scene. I actually have used match.com to search for someone special. It hasn't panned out yet for there are many who have written on their profile.. Christian/other or protestant,catholic...etc, but they are not practicing Christians. This is a real problem for me, for I have been in relationships where the man is unequally yoked and they have not worked out. I keep tossing back and forth because I think God will send me someone when the time is right, but impatience gets the best of me at times and I start looking again. I mean where do you meet someone? In a grocery store? Hardly. I do believe God is in control and I believe in divine intervention and he has a plan but I have been single for close to 4 years and I'm ready for a companion. Please pray that I will submit to God for finding the perfect mate for me and that I will be patient and content as a single woman until the time is right. Thanks in advance.

[iluvmycat]

I am 26 and I've only dated one person (I don't believe in dating several people).
That was my very first relationship and it only lasted 18 days ( Praise God for that)

He ended up cheating on me and lying to me about why he wanted to end the relationship. He really didn't treat me the way a man should treat a woman.

I paid for most of my meals, ( we only saw each other once a week).

My older friend set us up thinking we'd be a good match for one another.

long story short, My friend told me she's pretty sure he had a girlfriend the entire time he dated me, he told me one time "Actions speak louder than words" Boy is that true.

I was totally dumbfounded when I found out he was cheating on me.

in the beginning, it was good but then he didn't call as often etc.

When my birthday rolled around, he didn't call me for two days after I called him because I was worried after not hearing from him for two days.

He didn't tell me he got off early at work, he decided to go to Bible Study without me ( on my birthday) after we had discussed going to church together and reading the Bible together. it was one excuse after another.

then he told me he liked to wear dresses, I was not ok with that at all, in fact it freaked me out. He was not willing to let that go.

Then, he tried to set me up with his friend and then he told me "Good luck with finding a nice guy like me".

I'm really glad I have not cried over him, I'm glad the emotion investment was not really there and I'm REALLY glad that he did not string me along for years.

I think God knew 18 days was all I could handle.

Next guy who wants to be my boyfriend will have to walk through fire for me.

[Morning Star]

I am also single I’m 27 (will be 28 next May) I have not even really dated either; I went on a few dates years ago but nothing serious. I made a list of qualities I’d prefer in a mate and say that in my prayers. I also pray for my future spouse whoever he is that God blesss him and has Angels watch out for him. I just have to trust God that it will happen when and if its meant too. I still have some spiritual growing I have too do and as a person. A lot of people my age are married and have a couple kids already kind of makes me feel odd. Even though I'm not ready for marriage or kids at this point.

[HJesusfreak]

Genesis - i remember your other thread about that fellow and i'm glad you found resolution over it. It didn't seem like the right thing.

I'm fortunate to have found my husband young, seems like college is the time and it gets harder after that. My friends have had success with match and eharmony, it really takes stepping out on a limb to find it. A guy friend of ours, bff with my husband since they were boys, was a bachelor for the longest time and pined over a girl he barely dated for years. Finally he got on match and found his wife and they just brought home a baby, a year and half after they got married. You have to tap into some other social networks to find somebody new, otherwise new people aren't crossing your path too often.

[trandraskell]

I am sorry to give a guys input, I applaud that most of the ladies are waiting for God to send them someone, it been 5 years since my divorce and I have been on one date and I met her online only to find out that I sold her cell service, a few years ago, we hit it off okay and went on a few date and then she told me that she was still married but seperated, I told her that I could not be with someone like that. That was 4 years ago, I have not been on a date since, I have also come to the fact is that if the Lord want me to be remarried he will send me someone and I felt is is best to leave it in his hands. All I have to say is don't rush take your time and pray and make Christ the center of marriage or relationship. I am sorry once agian to derail the thread with a guys input.

[onceblind]

Well I just got an e-mail from the man I saw three times that he can't be in a relationship right now. I admire his honesty and I'm glad I wasn't just strung along. There is the number of a Christian man I have in my cell phone from six months ago. I thought I had deleted it. Hmm...

I am sorry to give a guys input, I applaud that most of the ladies are waiting for God to send them someone, it been 5 years since my divorce and I have been on one date and I met her online only to find out that I sold her cell service, a few years ago, we hit it off okay and went on a few date and then she told me that she was still married but seperated, I told her that I could not be with someone like that. That was 4 years ago, I have not been on a date since, I have also come to the fact is that if the Lord want me to be remarried he will send me someone and I felt is is best to leave it in his hands. All I have to say is don't rush take your time and pray and make Christ the center of marriage or relationship. I am sorry once agian to derail the thread with a guys input.

Trandraskell, a man's input is always welcome. At least to me it is.

[trandraskell]

Well I just got an e-mail from the man I saw three times that he can't be in a relationship right now. I admire his honesty and I'm glad I wasn't just strung along. There is the number of a Christian man I have in my cell phone from six months ago. I thought I had deleted it. Hmm...




Trandraskell, a man's input is always welcome. At least to me it is.

thanks onceblind

[Haeddre]

God bless you, Vitajay85. That is the way I'm trying to go about it, so it comforts me to hear someone else feels the same way.

[Jesusrules]

I am sorry to give a guys input, I applaud that most of the ladies are waiting for God to send them someone, it been 5 years since my divorce and I have been on one date and I met her online only to find out that I sold her cell service, a few years ago, we hit it off okay and went on a few date and then she told me that she was still married but seperated, I told her that I could not be with someone like that. That was 4 years ago, I have not been on a date since, I have also come to the fact is that if the Lord want me to be remarried he will send me someone and I felt is is best to leave it in his hands. All I have to say is don't rush take your time and pray and make Christ the center of marriage or relationship. I am sorry once agian to derail the thread with a guys input.

Thanks for the advice. I am beginning to think I should just put it in God's hands as I have been out of a few dates and I'm feeling discouraged that nothing is panning out for me. Patience is a virtue and God will send him when the time is right; besides, God may have other plans for me by rapturing us away!

[Kaitlyn]

I'm nineteen and single, I've only ever had one relationship and that was the one I talked about here with someone I met online who I ended up breaking up with because of faith reasons (he was Catholic), though we're still friends. He was the only guy that had shown interest in me in several years and nobody has since then. Sometimes I get sad about it, because while I do want to finish college before I get married I had never really wanted to "live the single life".

My mom wants me to find someone so badly. A couple of months ago she saw a guy in church basically just say hi to me and she was playing fifty questions when we got home and announcing that she didn't care that he was six or seven years older then me, I'm mature for my age and that's ok. She was highly disapointed when I told her he was engaged. The "College and Career" class at my church is the biggest Sunday school class there, the problem is that it seems like the only guys there who ever speak to me are engaged or at least in a serious relationship. I was telling my mom about how one of the guys who had been pretty nice to me just joined the Army and I was going to be worried for him and just about the first thing she said was "I guess he's engaged too, isn't he?" to which I had to reply "I'm not sure, but he at least has a girlfriend.".

I'm don't know if it's "all the good guys here are taken" or if it's just "all the good guys here who seem to acknowledge my exisitence are taken". I'm trying to be patient, I certainly want to wait for the right guy, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I think things would be a lot easier if I actually had any social skills to speak of, but I'm shy and though I try, I just don't seem to know how to talk to people in person most of the time

[Genesis22]

Katy, I know how you feel. Ever since I was saved, I've always pictured myself getting married and starting a family really young. Since that desire didn't start until I was saved, I always thought that God gave me that desire.....but I only know one guy who I can see myself with (who I've told you about).....and even though he feels the same way about me, God has made it very very clear not to act on those feelings for now. I don't know if he isn't the one, or if it just isn't the right time....but it's hard because he even wants to be with me too, but God is telling us no (or at least "not yet"). I know that God's plan is better than mine though, and I'm sure He has some crazy plan for me that I'm just not understanding.

At first, I would pray and ask God why He would bring this amazing guy who loves me into my life if He didn't want me to act on it......but God made the answer very clear. God showed me that if we really love each other, that means that we want what is best for each other.....and then God asked me (not audibly) if a relationship was what was best for either one of us right now. I knew the answer was no. So if we really do love each other, we HAVE to wait. The guy who I'm in this situation with agreed completely and told me to "please do whatever God wants". I am very thankful for that. It may be the same situation with your husband, even though you haven't met him yet.....maybe for now, you need to love each other by realizing that a relationship isn't the right thing for now, and praying for him wherever he is to be patient and do God's will. Maybe God is going to use you to do something else before you have time to focus on a relationship. Maybe you are going to somehow reach people with the gospel in some way that you couldn't do if you were married or something. God's plan is often something that you aren't expecting. The bible says that true love casts out fear and lets God lead.....so even if you want to be with someone and fear that it won't work out how you want it to, if you truly love your future husband, you will want what God has for them rather than what you want of them and give it to God rather than fearing about it. You probably have already done that, but I'm just telling you what God has been telling me.

God has also shown me that His love is greater than the love that any guy could give me. I'm sure you already know that, but when I really think deeply about it, it's amazing. I am searching everywhere for love that God is already giving me. This isn't to say that relationships are wrong, because sometimes they are God's will for us to serve Him in that way....but when it is obviously not time yet, remember that you alerady have all the love you need.