~ Children In Heaven ~ 2 Cor 1:3-4

[Amanda's mom]

Just missing Amanda terribly today. Sigh. I guess reading about the family whose daughter hung herself after being cyber-bullied makes it all fresh. I feel so badly for that family and pray that God comforts them. I wonder if they have anyone to talk to who understands just what they are going through. How angry they must be. How hard to forgive. I pray that they can. I read where the woman who bullied the child knew that the girl had problems with depression. What would have possessed her to do something like that. I just don't understand people these days.

[Anddra]

Just missing Amanda terribly today. Sigh. I guess reading about the family whose daughter hung herself after being cyber-bullied makes it all fresh. I feel so badly for that family and pray that God comforts them. I wonder if they have anyone to talk to who understands just what they are going through. How angry they must be. How hard to forgive. I pray that they can. I read where the woman who bullied the child knew that the girl had problems with depression. What would have possessed her to do something like that. I just don't understand people these days.

I don't know how anyone could read about that and not get upset. It must be heart-breaking for you.

[Amanda's mom]

I don't know how anyone could read about that and not get upset. It must be heart-breaking for you.

Thank you Anddra. Sometimes I feel like a black hole of neediness.

[jayna]

Sometimes I feel like a black hole of neediness

Me too!! And I guess that is where God wants us right now..... totally dependent on him for our next breath... our next laugh... our next everything!!
All we have to do is look around these days and see tragedy insurmountable. I don't know how people without Christ make it through the awful grief they are feeling.... it seems impossible to me. God be with them.

[ihope]

I'm reading the book "THE SHACK" So far it is an excellent read but don't know if I'd recommend it until I'm through. My aunt lost her daughter a LONG time ago and has helped me a lot during the rough moments. She sent me this book and insisted I read it. In fact, she said to read it two times and then we would discuss it together....

I love you sisters and I pray for you ALL! I really do!! I'm so looking forward to our reunion and meeting you all and reminiscing about our times in grief sharing....

[Sing4Him]

ihurt.. Please read this article regarding The Shack, from the apostasy thread, dear. IT is important you see this:

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?...ighlight=shack


Hugs to you.

[Sing4Him]

Here is a book that I read probably 4x after my dad passed away in 2003. I highly recommend it. It is very comforting. I have given this to a number of people after the deaths of their loved ones.

One Minute After You Die
by Erwin W. Lutzer

http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-Aft.../dp/0802463061


Praying for you dear sisters in Jesus.

[ihope]

Ugh! Boy that's a downer!
I am dropping the book immediately and am thankful for the knowledge. Sigh...I was really hoping it would ease some hurt....I am going to get One Minute After You Die...thank you for the recommendation!

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, even though I am disappointed I am so happy that I know the TRUTH...and I will always be grateful!

[jayna]

Ugh! Boy that's a downer!
I am dropping the book immediately and am thankful for the knowledge. Sigh...I was really hoping it would ease some hurt....I am going to get One Minute After You Die...thank you for the recommendation!

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, even though I am disappointed I am so happy that I know the TRUTH...and I will always be grateful!

Hi, one of the best books I've read is 'Holding On To Hope' by Nancy Guthrie.
http://www.nancyguthrie.com/books/hoh_book.shtml

I've also read the 'One Minute After You Die'..... I liked it too.

God Bless you and take care.

[ihope]

Hi, one of the best books I've read is 'Holding On To Hope' by Nancy Guthrie.
http://www.nancyguthrie.com/books/hoh_book.shtml

Thank You!!

[jayna]

Thank You!!

Your very welcome!!

[soonhereturns]

Wow, what a wonderful thread. I didn't have the opportunity to make happy memories with our baby because she was probably only with us for a short 7 or 8 weeks. 3 weeks later the evening of January 4th I held that tiny tiny baby in my hand who was no bigger than my thumb and wept harder than I have ever wept in my life. Even now as I sit here and type this I weep. There will always be an empty spot in my heart and I feel like my family will not be complete until we are all reunited in Heaven one day. It has been 5 years and the Lord has blessed us with 6 more children,including one or two in the womb right now. but that precious little soul can never be replaced. I so look forward to the day that I get to look into that face, to see what color hair she has and what color eyes she has. Does she look more like her daddy or me?

[Amanda's mom]

Wow, what a wonderful thread. I didn't have the opportunity to make happy memories with our baby because she was probably only with us for a short 7 or 8 weeks. 3 weeks later the evening of January 4th I held that tiny tiny baby in my hand who was no bigger than my thumb and wept harder than I have ever wept in my life. Even now as I sit here and type this I weep. There will always be an empty spot in my heart and I feel like my family will not be complete until we are all reunited in Heaven one day. It has been 5 years and the Lord has blessed us with 6 more children,including one or two in the womb right now. but that precious little soul can never be replaced. I so look forward to the day that I get to look into that face, to see what color hair she has and what color eyes she has. Does she look more like her daddy or me?

You will get to hold her in heaven.

[nannyto3]

Soonhereturns, I loved just reading the names and ages of your children. You are truly blessed and isn't it just wonderful to know that we will see our children again in Heaven. I can't wait!!! And yes, no matter how many more children you have they do not take the place of the one that is gone. I have two boys and I love them with my whole heart, but I still miss my Sarah, but God has and is so good to me!!

[jayna]

In case you missed this thread I opened in 'christian chat'....... Maria Chapman joins our children in heaven. This is so sad.

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=46954

[Amanda's mom]

Thank you Father for the brave men and women who have, over the years, given their lives so that we might live in freedom. I pray for their families who have suffered greatly at their loss. I pray for the mothers and fathers who have given their most precious gifts to our country and now weep because their child is not coming back to them. Please, dear Lord, comfort them all and bless them. In the name of your precious son, Jesus Christ, I ask this. Amen.

[jayna]

Thank you Father for the brave men and women who have, over the years, given their lives so that we might live in freedom. I pray for their families who have suffered greatly at their loss. I pray for the mothers and fathers who have given their most precious gifts to our country and now weep because their child is not coming back to them. Please, dear Lord, comfort them all and bless them. In the name of your precious son, Jesus Christ, I ask this. Amen.

Amen!!

[Jubilee21]

I have rarely shared this story..it still 'hurt's" so much and due to much in my life I have found much I have had cause to grieve over, sometimes is such a horrendous burden, I simply have to let it go with God, privately and go through the actual process "later" when such things can be permitted.. at times where He permits it so I don't lose my mind over it...very literally.

When I was very young, I was diagnosed with medical issues where if I were to have any children, it would have to be very early..my medical condition was progressive and at some point I would not have a choice to become pregnant. As it turned out God brought along my former husband who was so good about all of this at the time, wanted kids as much as I did and I had just turned twenty when I found out my first of five children was on the way..

Pregnancy kept this disease under control due to hormonal conditions, as did breastfeeding. The first two pregnancies that gave me two beautiful sons came quickly but the medical issues returned in between my second and third pregnancy, the disease was progressing and very aggresive but three years later my third son came along despite theincreasing difficulty to become pregnant.

We wanted as many children that God would permit, so we kept trying until there was no more opportunity for this..by the time my third child was 1 1/2, the doctors told me I was at the point medically I was running out of choices,I needed surgery and that there would be no more children, the disease had progressed too much..I was devestated..my husband was stronger despite the news, simply grateful we had our three beautiful children, as I was..but with all my heart I had so desired to have another baby..I loved my son's but I so wanted a little girl.The prospect there was never going to be another child when I was just 25 yrs old was a brutal grief for me.

I worked through the diagnosis, and accepted I had to schedule surgery, had prayed over this and was allowing God to help me with my grief..medically I was in rough shape and had to deal with the disease.It was in late March of 1983..we had just moved to PA for a new job, my husband had scheduled a trip out of state for work for a months training..to be back in time for the surgery..I didn't know anyone, had three babies, was in strange place, trying to deal with so much and most family was now over 8 hours away.

I remember it so clearly..I had been exhausted, my cycles were so out of schedule..I was bleeding three weeks out of the month..and just felt sick..I never noticed the "symptoms"..my husband had just left for his trip..I had to go to the doctors for pr-op tests..and when I sat inhis office..he informed me I was "pregnant"..almost three mos along..and did an ultra-sound..and I saw my child..

I was overcome with joy..it was a miracle to me, after mos of grief over accepting I would not ever bear another child.. with all of my heart and soul, I believed it was my little girl..this was my little SaraBeth I had longed for all of my life..my "little daughter" to join her beloved brothers..and I knew my family was going to be whole , when she joined us in six mos.

I left the office in a dilerious joy and my Doc, in shock and dumbfounded how this had happened..the surgery was canceled.

Our anniversary when my husband proposed to me was right after he was to return..so I was keeping this a 'secret' to give him as a present..I went and found some small baby clothes "in pink" and the label said "Al's gal" on it by the designer..because this was his name and I knew he wanted a little girl as much as I did if God would have us so blessed with this hope of our precious Sara Beth I was carrying..I didn't tell asoul..I was just relishing the sheer joy of it all.

The week my husband was to return there was a tragic accident with one of his dearest life time family members..and he rushed to be at the hospital for him..I could not get there becasueof our childrens ages, andit would have been too much of a burden under the circumstances.Instead of coming home to be with me the day of our anniversery when I would be sharing the news of my pregnancy, he was at the bed side of our beloved family member who died ..and by the time he was able to call me to share this, I was no longer able to deny I was having a miscarraige..

I couldn't tell him in the state he was in, there was nothing he could do..he had never known..he was needed where he was at as much as I needed him..so I did not tell him..I just couldn't..I called a new friend I had met recently and asked for help.her daughter was older and who came to watch my children, nor to tell my husband if he called anything but that I had to goout for an errand and would call back later...and my friend brought me to the hospital, she was a very strong Christian woman, and was my rock as I sat there after it was all done and then brought me home. The surgery was rescheduled for late June, again leaving time for my body to heal and make my presence at my sisters weddings in late May and mid June

For , long complicated reason's, I found I could not share with my husband at the time, I had been pregnant and lost this child..but it was an unbearable loss at the time..and the reality along with it, there would be no more children..I carried so much grief, and insome respects a sense of "guilt" because my body had betrayed me and my medical condition had casued me to lose "Sara Beth..that it was all"my fault"..it wasn't rational at the time but this type of loss and grief brings such a challange to one's sanity and faith..I was only 25 years old and a very young Christian at the time but was becoming a very strong one in leaps and bounds.I had to hang onto God with all my strength to not "drown" for the sake of my other children and my husband.. .

There was no birth notice except the little black and white ultra sound picture and a positive pregnacy test announcing this childs presence on this earth, that was only known to me for a few weeks while she had been part of me for four months..

nor was there any funeral to announce the loss this world was going to have when she left and with her went all of the pictures of the life I had in my heart of her growing up and part of our family and my heart for the balance of my life...no one knew she had been with us except my Doctor, this one precious friend and me..I never told my husband, I simply gave my little Sara Beth back to her only father she ever had and knew her best my grief was private weight I carried alone for many years before I found the one God had planned for hearing this story many years down the road..

I was 50 years old when I shared it with her..oneof my daughters friends who was keeping a secret about her pregnacy from her husband who had just deported to Iraq, in the combat zone..and was considering an abortion, she was not a Christian...I told her all about my little Sara Beth and asked her to just pray with me to God for my child and for her. She allowed me to do this..she also allowed me to stay with her , for her sake albeit she was going through with her abortion and her 'secret'..I called togethr a prayer group tointerven on behalf of this child as I went to the abortion clinic with her..I prayed so hard, and weeped as I thought of my Sara Beth..and for this child and hers..I was called to the room she was in..becasue she had a change of heart..she had prayed to God about all of this and at thelast minute, she realized what she was doing, begged God to forgive her and we prayed together as she accepted Christ..

I brought her home and she sat the computer and sent her husband an email and told him he had to take care of himself and come home to her or she would "kill" him if she had to raise their child alone..because he was going to be a daddy!" Then she called her Momma, who rushed over , estatic and my presence was no longer needed..their daughter came and he was there for the birth, they named her Sara Beth for me.. I am her God Mother...she had shared with him what my daughter(s) and I had done,and he also turned to Christ and accepted Him into his life for his daughters sake to give her everything God wanted him too...he had to return to Iraq, and several mos later, he died, he was killed in an act of saving several others lives during battle.

For the rest of my story I was at the hospital undergoing tests the day before surgery later that June 1984, I was actually prepped and on the way to the proceedure room when my Doctor walked in with paper work..and told me that there had been a change in plans..that was my "daughter" , Megan who God sent me so I would have not one but two precious daughters..who both touched so manylives in so many ways as was the case of my daughter's friend and her little Sara Beth God gave her for when He brought her husband home, just like He took my Sara Beth home.

I still have all of those pictures of my Sara Beth in my heart..and yet I get to see her every once in awhile when I see how she and God sent my "God child" into my life so I could ..every year I celebrate her birthday on the day I miscarried..as the day she left and all those hugs that never happened are found in other ways God sent along for me to have...today she would have been 26 years old. I find myself still shedding tears for her that began when I forced myself to read this thread last night , knowing that my precious child is safe and well, prospering and among all of your wonderful, precious loved ones.I t comforts me to know who she is with , who her precious brothers and sisters are as I have learned so much about from the pictures of them you too carry in your hearts and the blessings of your deep abiding faith in God ,as your love prevails over all the sorrow and pain of not having them in your arms today as I do.

I thank you all for giving me this "gift" by sharing your tears so that I could...so I could share my Sara Beth was here on this world and with us on that day so many years ago...how she touched lives and the purpose God allowed me to find in why He brought her home when He did.

I share your grief, but I also know no one can ever fully grasp the personal and private experience of it we must bear alone. Alone,with all the pictures that only our hearts know or remember except God, who sees them every day with us so our children can live on in them..thats why I always turn to Christ and allow him to chose the one to hold onto for the moment's it's so hard to not be able to hug that child...

I rest in His arms and allow Him to show me so many other pictures that calm my soul..when He calmed the seas, when He healed the blind, raised the dead, died on that cross and rose again that glorious Easter morning..and thats when I know my daughter is home with Him and will be the next person I long to see right after I look into my Saviors eyes, who will be waiting there for me to share an etertnity of hugs and new pictures for my heart to be able to hold onto for an eternity.

I can not nor do equate the sorrow of losing my child , with me so briefly, never born or placed in my arms, to have years of a lifetime and all the memories for that eternity of time the absence af the losso f other children which, make those pictures of them so tremendously difficult to look upon and not feel the loss of them.

My grief is different but none the less present with me to this day..it is for the hugs, I never had, yet knowing my child was part of me and part of my eternity when she was taken home by God before I was. That I deeply understand and share, its been a part of my life, everyday for over 26 years..

and my heart goes out to each of you as do my prayers that you find some comfort and blessed assurance that they are safe and well in Christs arms as we all are , that you continue to trust and turn to them for when you heart and soul aches.

YSIC,
Sue

[Amanda's mom]

From one Sue to another.... especially on an anniversary of pain that should be an anniversary of great joy.

For the Christian mother, the child is a child as soon as he/she is conceived. They are loved, cherished, and prayed for from the moment that we know they are within us. I know the pain of losing a child that has not been born, that I have not held in my arms. My Amanda Rose came to help me with that pain. We were both blessed with children to help us through that horrible emptiness. Sometimes, all that helps me get through now is knowing that my two children - Timothy Michael and Amanda Rose - are with Jesus and they are together.



May God bless you and comfort you always.

[Jubilee21]

Thankyou so much my dear, precious sister.. I am holding you in my arms right now and lifting up you and your heavy heart in prayers.

You ars so right and so wise...I do have so many holes in my heart Christ has filled that only He can..with amazing sensitivity to the touch as in the case of how present He is in your dear spirit as you have brought great comfort to others with your grace and generosity of sharing you children, Timothy Michael and Amanda Rose with us

and that indeed, they - are with Jesus and they are together as my daughter, Sara Elizabeth is also with them and we both will be as well one day and these tears will be only for joy and nothing else.