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Thread: ATTENTION: Parents of unsaved children!

  1. #1
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    Default ATTENTION: Parents of unsaved children!

    I know many of us have many unsaved family members, spouses, parents, sisters, brothers, etc.

    But, as a parent, I think having an unsaved child(ren), no matter how old they are, is heartwretching and I am having a very difficult time with this.

    As a parent we have tried to protect our children since birth and now when they don't know Jesus, it is like watching them die a slow death.

    I have 2 children, a son 44 and a daughter 43.

    My daughter is not saved, lives in Florida, never married, no children, beautiful, but is a party girl. She doesn't talk to me much or to the rest of the family either. I think deep down she is not as happy as she pretends to be. If I mention Jesus to her, she tells me to have fun thinking about my "afterlife" while she does everything she can to enjoy this one.

    My son wa saved over 20 years ago during a relationship with a born again believer. All 3 of us attended church together. He was a changed man. But the relatioship ended and my son didn't show alot of fruit in later years, But, he always assured me he knew Jesus and would be in Heaven with me. Always! A couple months ago he told me he changed his mind and he thinks there are many ways to Heaven as he can't fathom the thought that his paternal grandparents whom he adored (but were as Catholic as they come) are in Hell. My ex in laws were into all the RCC rituals and they couldn't sleep if they didn't recieve the Eucharist each day. They adored Mother Mary and only prayed to her, not to Jesus. They were heartbroken when their only son married me. I was unsaved then, I didn't even know Jesus and they were trying to convert me to Mother Mary worship. I cried like a baby when my son told me he changed his mind a couple months ago. I lost it. He married a Catholic, I think he was influenced.

    I have to admit that knowing the Rapture is upon us, I am already grieving for my children. I can't stand the agony, even though I know in my heart that if God wants them for His own, He will find a way.

    This may sound awful, but I think I could deal better if they died KNOWING Jesus (prior to the Rapture) then knowing that they could die without knowing Jesus or that we could be taken at any time and they will be left behind. I could be happier and more at peace with an absolute of their salvation because I would know that their death would only be a temporary separation. I am praising God that in His wisdom we won't remember our unsaved children (I take it that way as there will not be sadness in Heaven) and if we remembered, we would feel sad. Right?

    I have many lost relatives but my children are my children. As I said, as parents, we are programmed to make sure they are okay at all cost and when we lose that control it is very difficult.

    How do you find joy when you are a parent of lost children and you never know when the phone will ring with bad news with an accident or we never know when we will be raptured when things appear that it will likely be soon?

    I can feel myself going down about this ever since my son told me he had a change of heart. I at least had one child that loved the Lord. My son was here hanging pictures last week and I brought up Jesus and the end times and he glazed over.

    How do we as parents cope? I pray but I feel this heaviness taking over me. Does anyone with unsaved children feel this to the point that it is affecting their life and not in a good way?
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  2. #2
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    The only peace I have is that I didn't save myself, He drew me to himself and he
    will do it for my daughter.
    My daughter is 30, married but separated, pregnant by and living with her bf. Baby due in August. Been in an out of jail, drugs, etc.
    I have told my daughter; Jesus is the only way, never take a mark in your hand or
    forehead, etc.
    I have planted the seeds and have to trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest.
    You can't guilt them, pray them, or worry them into salvation. In fact, I think my daughter may be a tribulation saint.
    She knows the truth and maybe God will use her after the rapture? I pray he is preparing some of our
    children for such a time as this.
    If you can't trust God, who can you trust? I pray for her daily, he hears my prayers.
    Isa 26:9

    With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.


    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindy S. View Post
    The only peace I have is that I didn't save myself, He drew me to himself and he
    will do it for my daughter.
    My daughter is 30, married but separated, pregnant by and living with her bf. Baby due in August. Been in an out of jail, drugs, etc.
    I have told my daughter; Jesus is the only way, never take a mark in your hand or
    forehead, etc.
    I have planted the seeds and have to trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest.
    You can't guilt them, pray them, or worry them into salvation. In fact, I think my daughter may be a tribulation saint.
    She knows the truth and maybe God will use her after the rapture? I pray he is preparing some of our
    children for such a time as this.
    If you can't trust God, who can you trust? I pray for her daily, he hears my prayers.
    Thank you Cindy for replying. I am sorry that your daughter doesn't know Jesus and is living a lifestyle outside of God's will. I pray for her everytime I come across a post of yours. I pray for Lindsey because of your signature.

    I understand and already know everything you said but I really needed some encouragement right now. I know our children are not ours, they are God's. He just lends them to us for a time but they are His to do with what He wants. I can give advice to others about how to lay all their trials at Jesus's feet but when it comes to me, I sometimes get to fretting. Not all the time, just about certain things on certain days. I just am not feeling well and I am exhausted lately due to my neverending moving chores and when we are weak that is when Satan will drag us down even more.

    Concerning my son who has had a change of heart about his relationship with Jesus, I had someone PM me at the time when this happened with the reminder that Jesus said that He will never lose any that the Heavenly Father has given Him. We just can't see God's plan in all this and I do trust the Lord totally. But, I am also hurting with a human mind and heart. Jesus felt all kinds of emotions when He was living the human experience too.

    I know that only God can change someones heart. I can't! I must let this go and let God. I know that God is in total control and everything that happens is in His perfect order. I pray everyday for people that post in the prayer section. I turn things over to God but there are many times my dear brothers and sisters are just losing it because of one thing or another. I try to lift them. I think that is what I was looking for. I wanted to hear someone say, "I feel the same way". I wanted some understanding that I wasn't alone.

    Thanks Cindy, I will try my best. With God all things are possible. I am really going to keep praying about this and hope that God will give me His peace, or better yet, change my children's hearts. I really must be content with whatever is in God's will for my children because as I said, they are His creations and He already knows their futures.
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsFromJesus View Post
    I have many lost relatives but my children are my children. As I said, as parents, we are programmed to make sure they are okay at all cost and when we lose that control it is very difficult.
    You lost that control a long time ago.

    About when they reached the age of accountability at around 12ish (varies with kids).

    At that point their responsibility with God is their own doing, and there's nothing to be done about that as a parent. As a Christian parent, you can continue to be a Godly influence in their lives, to preach Jesus Christ, and to pray for them. What they do with the message of Christ is their own doing. God hears you dear sister in Christ. He knows your heart in this matter and how very personal and dear to you this is. This isn't lost on God.

    Keep bringing them in prayer before our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ's name. Keep praying and interceding for them. Talk to them about the Good News of Jesus Christ, their errors in what they believe, and what they need to do to get right with God. God has revealed Himself to the world by the Holy Bible, and only here. No church, no group, no religious sect, and no people for the past hundreds of years.

    The Bible is the sole authority of the Christian. There is only one way to get right with God. If anything, try to make that point with your son who believes in multiple ways. Jesus Christ set the record straight by His word.

    John 14:6
    Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.
    Acts 4:11-12
    For Jesus is the one referred to in the Scriptures, where it says,

    ‘The stone that you builders rejected
    has now become the cornerstone.’

    There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.”
    There is no one else to be saved by. There is no other way to God or to Heaven. Let your son know that, and that he can read it for himself.

    Praying that you should have the peace that our Lord Jesus Christ gives to His children, that surpasses all understanding, for the ease of your mind, and the comfort of Christ's company and nearness.

    I pray for the salvation, for our Lord Jesus Christ to bring to Himself your son and daughter and any of your lost loved ones as well. May it be so in the holy and most blessed name of our Lord and Savior, our King, and our God Jesus Christ. Amen.

  5. #5
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    I am in the same situation with a husband who has yet not professed faith in Christ; he was not brought up to attend church and didn't think about God. He attends church services with me and I talk to him all the time about the rapture and being left behind but he seems to be arrogant in the fact that 'it won't happen in our lifetime' and probably assumes he has plenty of time yet.

    I often wake up through the night very troubled that he will be left if we are taken home soon and he isn't saved.

    The only thing we as christians can do is pray for our families and friends not saved, 'No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him John 6 v 44'. We need to pray that God will reveal himself to them and save them, that is all we can do.

    I was also reading in 1 Cornithians 3 this morning; although it is about divisions in the church v 7 seems applicable here; 'So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase'

    Remember that God does not want the people important to you to be lost either so we can be confident that God will listen when you pour your heart out to Him.

    I recently heard about a man who got saved after a wife praying for him for 50 years!!! Imagine how she must have felt during that time; even he wondered why it took it him so long and felt guilty because it had.

    Pray Pray Pray
    "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1st Corinthians 2 v 9.

    I said 'If you knew me You wouldn't want me, my scars are hidden by the face i wear'
    He said 'My child my scars go deeper, and it was love for you that put them there' - I am loved, Gaither Vocal Band.

  6. #6
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    Thank you all so much for all of your replies, PM, love and encouragment. Sometimes we just have to share. I know that God is in control, I am not learning anything new. I have so much faith and trust in my Lord but sometimes the pain and confusion of this fallen world, Satan and his minions can bring us down during our weak moments when we are stressed, not feeling well or tired. We just need to share those moments with our brother and sisters when that happens. That is the way of God's children and we are all God's children.
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  7. #7
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    I grieve with everyone with unsaved children as I also have two who have been blinded by the lies of the one size fits all, God loves everyone and were all going to heaven garbage. I pray for them each night. They have both been told the truth.
    Maybe someone should start a prayer thread for the unsaved children of all of the RR family with unsaved children.

  8. #8
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    We are told to "be anxious for nothing" because we should and can take all of our concerns to Jesus in prayer and trust Him for the best outcome.

    I firmly believe somehow someway God will save them if you do that. Maybe now or maybe during the tribulation.

    I have one of my three adult children not fully committed to the Lord and frankly I am truly not overly worried. She says she believes and comes to church on occasion but still not much fruit or interest in spiritual things. My wife and I have done all we can do and the rest is up to God to work His will.

    Pray, beleive and trust for God's best.
    Jesus is coming now at "Any Moment"! Are you ready?

    Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

    Praying for the Peace of Jerusalem. Amen.

  9. #9
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    Hugs from Jesus, I know exactly how you feel, you put it into words like I would have. I weep at night. I want my sons for the Lord's kingdom. I want to be with them forever. Neither of them are saved. And the thought of not remembering them in heaven makes it even worse. This is the most horrible part. They will be apart from the Lord in hell and their own mother will not even remember them?? I have a very hard, very bad time with that, it is agony. I will continue to pray fervently for their salvation.

  10. #10
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    I am not a parent, but I have a really amazing story about something that happened recently to give all of you parents with unsaved children some hope.

    My youth group had a car wash a few weekends ago to raise money for a youth retreat that we were going on. A man pulled up to get his car washed, and while we were washing it, he got out of the car to talk to us. He kept looking around at us in amazment, and then asked our youth leader Rene "What is up with these kids? There's something special about them, like a light in them or something". Our leader told him that it was all God and started to explain God to him. He was amazed and told her that when he was our age he was out doing drugs and other things. He then started to ask her a bunch of questions about God and he said that he thought God couldn't possibly love him because of everything that he has done. My youth leader told him the truth about that and told him how much God loves him.

    This is the part of the story that you're going to want to hear: He told us that his elderly mom had been asking him to go to church with her for ages now and he had been putting it off. But after seeing something in us teenagers, he said that he was going to call his mom and tell her that he would go to church with her that weekend!!!!!!!! Think about it, that mom had probably been trying to get her son saved for years, and God ended up using a bunch of kids at a car wash to inspire him instead! He later told us that he wasn't even planning on coming to us to have his car washed, he was just driving past to go to the bank- but then something inside of him said "go let those kids wash your car". God had it all worked out sooooo far ahead of time! God had it worked out so that that guy had his money at the bank that was near where we were washing cars, that our car wash was planned on that day, and that Rene was our leader that day (because she related to his past really well, and it's really cool because she is almost never our leader). God could be working on something like that in your child's life RIGHT NOW that just isn't quite ready yet!

    So the moral of the story is- never ever stop praying for your children. Even if your words aren't getting to them, maybe God has another way of getting them saved that doesn't even involve you. Like that guy! His mom had been trying to bring him to God for ages, and all it took was a simple car wash full of teenagers one day! It's very possible that God is planning something like that in your child's life right now, so pray for whatever it is to work out!

  11. #11

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    I'm not a parent but I've been feeling the same way towards my family and friends. Super devastating to think of the negative but maybe that is why God tells us to pray without ceasing and to think of only good things and hope for the best. God knows we struggle...

    1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
    16(A)Rejoice always;

    17(B)pray without ceasing;

    18in everything (C)give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
    Philippians 4:8
    8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
    Don't let the devil steal your joy but when you are feeling down that is when it is a good time to pray.

    Genesis22 that was very encouraging and it brought tears to my eyes.

    God is faithful

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genesis22 View Post
    I am not a parent, but I have a really amazing story about something that happened recently to give all of you parents with unsaved children some hope.

    My youth group had a car wash a few weekends ago to raise money for a youth retreat that we were going on. A man pulled up to get his car washed, and while we were washing it, he got out of the car to talk to us. He kept looking around at us in amazment, and then asked our youth leader Rene "What is up with these kids? There's something special about them, like a light in them or something". Our leader told him that it was all God and started to explain God to him. He was amazed and told her that when he was our age he was out doing drugs and other things. He then started to ask her a bunch of questions about God and he said that he thought God couldn't possibly love him because of everything that he has done. My youth leader told him the truth about that and told him how much God loves him.

    This is the part of the story that you're going to want to hear: He told us that his elderly mom had been asking him to go to church with her for ages now and he had been putting it off. But after seeing something in us teenagers, he said that he was going to call his mom and tell her that he would go to church with her that weekend!!!!!!!! Think about it, that mom had probably been trying to get her son saved for years, and God ended up using a bunch of kids at a car wash to inspire him instead! He later told us that he wasn't even planning on coming to us to have his car washed, he was just driving past to go to the bank- but then something inside of him said "go let those kids wash your car". God had it all worked out sooooo far ahead of time! God had it worked out so that that guy had his money at the bank that was near where we were washing cars, that our car wash was planned on that day, and that Rene was our leader that day (because she related to his past really well, and it's really cool because she is almost never our leader). God could be working on something like that in your child's life RIGHT NOW that just isn't quite ready yet!

    So the moral of the story is- never ever stop praying for your children. Even if your words aren't getting to them, maybe God has another way of getting them saved that doesn't even involve you. Like that guy! His mom had been trying to bring him to God for ages, and all it took was a simple car wash full of teenagers one day! It's very possible that God is planning something like that in your child's life right now, so pray for whatever it is to work out!
    What a beautiful story Genesis.Thanks so much for sharing. I am sure this guy's mother was doing a dance. I know one thing for sure and that is saved parents NEVER give up on their children. I know that God can bring them to Him in a myriad of different ways. There is nothing I can do if we are raptured before my children are saved, it was meant to be because God's timing will be perfect when He sends Jesus for us. But what a relief it would be to just know that we will spend eternity with our children. To me, that is the ultimate peace. We will all keep praying for our children and for each others children. We all know each others pain and understand it immensely.
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by araj54 View Post
    Maybe someone should start a prayer thread for the unsaved children of all of the RR family with unsaved children.
    That's a great idea araj! I don't have children, but I think I'll go do that anyways.

    EDIT: Here it is!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsFromJesus View Post
    Thank you Cindy for replying. I am sorry that your daughter doesn't know Jesus and is living a lifestyle outside of God's will. I pray for her everytime I come across a post of yours. I pray for Lindsey because of your signature.

    I understand and already know everything you said but I really needed some encouragement right now. I know our children are not ours, they are God's. He just lends them to us for a time but they are His to do with what He wants. I can give advice to others about how to lay all their trials at Jesus's feet but when it comes to me, I sometimes get to fretting. Not all the time, just about certain things on certain days. I just am not feeling well and I am exhausted lately due to my neverending moving chores and when we are weak that is when Satan will drag us down even more.

    Concerning my son who has had a change of heart about his relationship with Jesus, I had someone PM me at the time when this happened with the reminder that Jesus said that He will never lose any that the Heavenly Father has given Him. We just can't see God's plan in all this and I do trust the Lord totally. But, I am also hurting with a human mind and heart. Jesus felt all kinds of emotions when He was living the human experience too.

    I know that only God can change someones heart. I can't! I must let this go and let God. I know that God is in total control and everything that happens is in His perfect order. I pray everyday for people that post in the prayer section. I turn things over to God but there are many times my dear brothers and sisters are just losing it because of one thing or another. I try to lift them. I think that is what I was looking for. I wanted to hear someone say, "I feel the same way". I wanted some understanding that I wasn't alone.

    Thanks Cindy, I will try my best. With God all things are possible. I am really going to keep praying about this and hope that God will give me His peace, or better yet, change my children's hearts. I really must be content with whatever is in God's will for my children because as I said, they are His creations and He already knows their futures.
    Thanks so much for praying for Lindsey.
    I was trying to encourage you to realize it's out of our hands.
    I am learning to TRUST him because I can not do it myself.
    I believe our children have an advantage that children of unbelievers do not have - PRAYING PARENTS.
    Isa 26:9

    With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.


    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsFromJesus View Post
    Thank you all so much for all of your replies, PM, love and encouragment. Sometimes we just have to share. I know that God is in control, I am not learning anything new. I have so much faith and trust in my Lord but sometimes the pain and confusion of this fallen world, Satan and his minions can bring us down during our weak moments when we are stressed, not feeling well or tired. We just need to share those moments with our brother and sisters when that happens. That is the way of God's children and we are all God's children.
    Remember (I always remind myself) we do not always see what God is doing in secret.
    Some hearts have to be prepared like certain meats have to be tenderized.
    Isa 26:9

    With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.


    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genesis22 View Post
    I am not a parent, but I have a really amazing story about something that happened recently to give all of you parents with unsaved children some hope.

    My youth group had a car wash a few weekends ago to raise money for a youth retreat that we were going on. A man pulled up to get his car washed, and while we were washing it, he got out of the car to talk to us. He kept looking around at us in amazment, and then asked our youth leader Rene "What is up with these kids? There's something special about them, like a light in them or something". Our leader told him that it was all God and started to explain God to him. He was amazed and told her that when he was our age he was out doing drugs and other things. He then started to ask her a bunch of questions about God and he said that he thought God couldn't possibly love him because of everything that he has done. My youth leader told him the truth about that and told him how much God loves him.

    This is the part of the story that you're going to want to hear: He told us that his elderly mom had been asking him to go to church with her for ages now and he had been putting it off. But after seeing something in us teenagers, he said that he was going to call his mom and tell her that he would go to church with her that weekend!!!!!!!! Think about it, that mom had probably been trying to get her son saved for years, and God ended up using a bunch of kids at a car wash to inspire him instead! He later told us that he wasn't even planning on coming to us to have his car washed, he was just driving past to go to the bank- but then something inside of him said "go let those kids wash your car". God had it all worked out sooooo far ahead of time! God had it worked out so that that guy had his money at the bank that was near where we were washing cars, that our car wash was planned on that day, and that Rene was our leader that day (because she related to his past really well, and it's really cool because she is almost never our leader). God could be working on something like that in your child's life RIGHT NOW that just isn't quite ready yet!

    So the moral of the story is- never ever stop praying for your children. Even if your words aren't getting to them, maybe God has another way of getting them saved that doesn't even involve you. Like that guy! His mom had been trying to bring him to God for ages, and all it took was a simple car wash full of teenagers one day! It's very possible that God is planning something like that in your child's life right now, so pray for whatever it is to work out!
    Thank you so much for sharing that story!
    Isa 26:9

    With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.


    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation.

  17. #17
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    Open yourself up to Romans Chapter 9 and realize that God elected those to be saved before the foundation of the world (also found in Ephesians and throughout the NT) and there is nothing you can do one way or the other.
    My children, 24 and 26 are great people but not really into religion. Because I know that everything was decided long ago, I can relax knowing God is in charge and no one's salvation is my responsibilty. It doesn't make it easy for a parent but when I read that God saved Lot and family and Noah and family I can have hope that my children are included in HIS plan.
    Also, because in Heaven, you will have no memory of this life so you will never know if they made it or not. A true act of grace by God.

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