every mans challenge. struggling. please pray.

[jemz20]

well i've been a member here for a couple years now. i read and re read all the articles here and around the forums but i hardly ever post. But i really am in need of prayer.

i am a single, 20 year old male and struggling with every mans challenge. and i cant keep myself reframed and perminantly away from it (picture/media on the net of women). I can be self controlled for months, but sometimes only days. and its a loop that no matter how long im out of, i always fall back into. and perhaps some of you can relate.

i feel so bad, and dirty and shamefull. and i am a youthleader and a helper at church, i feel like i should take myself out of this role because i cannot perminantly walk purely, although i try but just cant. i am burdened, and guilty and feel dirty and shamefull and i just cant seem to bring myself to confession to recieve intersession from another christian/elder about this stuff, i dont even feel like im saved anymore.

i have been into drugs real heavy and got away from them far far easier than this.

[kjlistrom]

We have God's promise that our sin is forgiven for ever, past, present, and future. Walking away from drugs and alcohol and 23 years of living on a Harley Davidson years ago when it wasn't a fad, was much more easy that the lust for sexual gratification. I'm 54 and I rest on the promise of God's forgiveness still to this day.

[outside60]

[outside60]

[trandraskell]

I am going thru the same thing but what I did was i went to found a support group thru settingcaptives free website. I have been going thru the class for almost 30 days and I have had some bad days and what I can tell you is this. you need to cut everything out of you life that can cause you to stumble and find someone who can help out and be an accountablilty partner. I will pray for you and I really recommend the site I go thru and you need to stick to the classes. Please update us and let us know

[Surafel]

God has made provision for our sins from the very first one even unto our very last breath when we die through his human incarnation and beloved Son Jesus Christ. We all possess sin natures that are embedded within us and it doesn't discriminate between anyone. The only thing we can do is keep coming back to Christ and asking him to forgive us and just try to keep from doing it again. God knows you will sin again, that's why he told his disciples that if their brother sinned against them that they were to forgive him seventy-seven times and even beyond.

Now, we have something in common, I too am also a single 20 year old male and yes I know these things that pull at our deepest desires. I struggle with it currently. It's a very difficult kind of thing. Nothing like drugs and alcohol which are separate objects that you have to go get and develop a taste for by doing them. Sexual desire and lust are something that manifest themselves at one point and are ingrained in us and keep tormenting us over and over and much more frequently than anything else. In short, there's no real effective way to combat them. So don't be so hard on yourself, I'm in the same boat with ya man. All we can do is just keep coming back to Christ and ask him to forgive us, and he will do so without question! He loves us that much! These sins that plague you are just like any other sin, he will forgive you if you ask!

There is a day coming, where we will be taken up by Christ and he will remove our sin nature and give us a new glorified body and we will be able to enjoy things in ways we have never perceived forever and ever. Just hang on and try your best to put these things out of your mind and keep asking for forgiveness. I'll also say a prayer for ya.

[Steve53]

Sexual desire and lust are something that manifest themselves at one point and are ingrained in us and keep tormenting us over and over and much more frequently than anything else.

Don't confuse a healthy sexual desire with lust. They are two separate things entirely. To desire one's mate is a God given blessing. To lust after someone is to submit to a carnal desire and that's what's sinful.

Controlling one's lustful thoughts can be done the same way one addresses every other sin - take the thought captive in your mind and do not allow it the freedom to corrupt your thinking and desires. The thought itself may come from "nowhere" it's what you do with that thought that counts.

[Surafel]

Don't confuse a healthy sexual desire with lust. They are two separate things entirely. To desire one's mate is a God given blessing. To lust after someone is to submit to a carnal desire and that's what's sinful.

Controlling one's lustful thoughts can be done the same way one addresses every other sin - take the thought captive in your mind and do not allow it the freedom to corrupt your thinking and desires. The thought itself may come from "nowhere" it's what you do with that thought that counts.

Oh of course not, but thank you for pointing out my error. I guess I meant to convey it as to desire someone in a sinful manner who does not belong to you in marriage. Anyways, thank you and I welcome all correction.

[jemz20]

thanks guys, i appreciate your encouragement and prayers. thank you so much.

[Garthman33]

Praying for you brother! Not to hijack your prayer thread here, but I would appreciate some prayer on this as well if ya'll don't mind.

[Wally]

a Brother for adversity. Find a mentor, a brother in Christ, someone you can call anytime. That is the best way to face this.

[Tall Timbers]

Easy access, I guess, has probably enlarged the audience for smut. Only so many would buy or subscribe to the magazines... now you have to be careful not to accidentally end up on one of those sites. You can block those kinds of sites, I think, at least you could block the ones you've a propensity to visit... then it would be a little harder to visit them as you would then have to unblock them first. Maybe praying and reading from the bible for a bit before you use your computer each time?

[jemz20]

Thanks for your posting and prayers guys. But I seem to do this in cycles, sometimes i can hold my ground and resist for a month or two months. Tonight i have failed, again.. The worst part of all of this is that while i'm up to no good i know Gods eyes are watching. And when i should be resisting this, I resist Him, and my biblical judgement. I always know its not worth it, but i cant convince myself at the time, i'm so caught up in my sin. Then i'm like how can i turn around and look at him and say sorry, i know this is sin, this was no mistake i did this willingly. I honestly don't think ill ever overcome this, ive opened the door to something un usual and i cant break free..

[gradywhite]

Thanks for your posting and prayers guys. But I seem to do this in cycles, sometimes i can hold my ground and resist for a month or two months. Tonight i have failed, again.. The worst part of all of this is that while i'm up to no good i know Gods eyes are watching. And when i should be resisting this, I resist Him, and my biblical judgement. I always know its not worth it, but i cant convince myself at the time, i'm so caught up in my sin. Then i'm like how can i turn around and look at him and say sorry, i know this is sin, this was no mistake i did this willingly. I honestly don't think ill ever overcome this, ive opened the door to something un usual and i cant break free..

Don't be soo hard on yourself. Your in your 20's. That is supposed to be the peak of the obsession. It will get easier with time and prayer.
I'm in my 40's, and have been married for 20 years, and still I find myself having to wipe the slobber off my chin, whenever I see a hot chick.
Just one of the many crosses we have to bear. Try looking at it as a challenge. Like a mountain you want to hike up. At first you might have to stop and rest a few times, but the more you work at it, eventually you'll go to the top without breaking for rest.

[Kliska]

Thanks for your posting and prayers guys. But I seem to do this in cycles, sometimes i can hold my ground and resist for a month or two months. Tonight i have failed, again.. The worst part of all of this is that while i'm up to no good i know Gods eyes are watching. And when i should be resisting this, I resist Him, and my biblical judgement. I always know its not worth it, but i cant convince myself at the time, i'm so caught up in my sin. Then i'm like how can i turn around and look at him and say sorry, i know this is sin, this was no mistake i did this willingly. I honestly don't think ill ever overcome this, ive opened the door to something un usual and i cant break free..

I'm sorry for stepping in here, as I'm not a fella... but there is something I noticed about several of your posts; it seems you believe the main effort here is on your part. What I mean is you say, for example, "I can't break free" above. Well, no, YOU can't break free, but He can free you. There is a difference and you may be able to change your focus to be a little more relaxed with your walk with Him. What I mean is; Salvation is God's work, and Sanctification is God's work too... your "job" is to put your faith in Him. No, you can't change yourself, but HE can... do you have faith in that?

Prayer, prayer, prayer... He'll work on you in the way He wants to work on you. Your job is to yield to Him, and the nudges of the Holy Spirit. God's eyes aren't just watching, He is literally present within you. Let the Holy Spirit work and trust Him. Now if it is a matter of the Holy Spirit on one side and sin on the other and they are in a wrestling match... no, you shouldn't give in to the sin. If you do, talk to God about it, ask for more help, get up with His help, dust yourself off with His help, and try again.

[jemz20]

Thanks Gradywhite, hope it does get easier over time..

I'm sorry for stepping in here, as I'm not a fella... but there is something I noticed about several of your posts; it seems you believe the main effort here is on your part. What I mean is you say, for example, "I can't break free" above. Well, no, YOU can't break free, but He can free you. There is a difference and you may be able to change your focus to be a little more relaxed with your walk with Him. What I mean is; Salvation is God's work, and Sanctification is God's work too... your "job" is to put your faith in Him. No, you can't change yourself, but HE can... do you have faith in that?

Prayer, prayer, prayer... He'll work on you in the way He wants to work on you. Your job is to yield to Him, and the nudges of the Holy Spirit. God's eyes aren't just watching, He is literally present within you. Let the Holy Spirit work and trust Him. Now if it is a matter of the Holy Spirit on one side and sin on the other and they are in a wrestling match... no, you shouldn't give in to the sin. If you do, talk to God about it, ask for more help, get up with His help, dust yourself off with His help, and try again.

I know, i try my best to yield and pray, and i ask God for his will to be done with and within my life, and to set my free, (i mean a lot).. and i honestly pray to grow closer and closer and be in his presence and to forgive my sin so we can be in fellowship, but it doesn't seem to work, like he doesn't want to be found, at least for the mean time? I don't know, but its sure hard keeping on keeping on, been like this for 2-3 confusing years now

[Kliska]

I know, i try my best to yield and pray, and i ask God for his will to be done with and within my life, and to set my free, (i mean a lot).. and i honestly pray to grow closer and closer and be in his presence and to forgive my sin so we can be in fellowship, but it doesn't seem to work, like he doesn't want to be found, at least for the mean time? I don't know, but its sure hard keeping on keeping on, been like this for 2-3 confusing years now

Well... you seem to be tying in your sinful act to God somehow hiding from you. That isn't a scripturally accurate portrayal of God. Your sin cannot separate you from God once saved. If you have placed your faith in Christ, your sin is already forgiven you, and God is always with you, not hiding. Your sin definitely has no power over Him. Don't tie your sinful slips into either His love for you or your salvation. Salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus, and nothing else. I state that to help you find peace.

He's already set His children free from sin; doesn't mean we don't slip, but we are literally free from sin. If you are in Christ, you already have peace with God... just as a suggestion, make sure you are focusing on change and sanctification and not doubt. How do you do that? Well, prayer, scripture, and talking to fellow believers ESPECIALLY those that are around you physically, and not just like here on the internet. What you are fighting is a deeply rooted physical and psychological issue, it's going to take time. Our lives are a long road of trials and tribulations, but we don't walk it alone. Keep talking to God, He hears you. Keep faithing on Him, He won't fail.

[zimmerdesign]

I struggle also. Something that helps me is think of the Rapture happening during that time and being in front of your Savior and having to explain yourself.

[Jlutz]

[Zorro55]

I also struggle. Praying. (please pray for me too)