For Noncustodial Moms (mod edit - *only*, no men please)

[sunshine2777]

Sunshine, lots of prayers have been said for you and your family!!!

Thanks Lisa! They are soooooooooooo needed. This past week has been something right out of a novel.

[sunshine2777]

Truth? I'm pretty sure I'm not doing very well. I have my faith but so much has happened, I am having trouble keeping my focus on anything, even when I read my bible or pray. Too much for way too long. My deliverance out of all this may just be Him taking me home. This isn't just with the kid situations, although that is bad enough, but just about every area of my life. I hold on to the hem of His garment but my life has turned into a very long slow Job experience that will not end. Please keep praying. I (and kids and dh) all need them desperately. And you would NOT think I was exaggerating or crying wolf if you knew all the details. The few who do know the details are down to only saying "I'm sorry you are having to continue to go through this". everything else has been said, suggested, thought of, mentioned, discussed, etc. I try to be grateful and thankful and deep down, I am, for the blessings He has given me and for Him saving me. But I've gone from living to existing and not even able to do that very well.

[Mom2ten]

(( sunshine )) I know what you are going through and it really blows...day after day. You need to understand that you are in the middle of the enemy's attack. Because you are standing on the Lord and His Word, you are prime target. Please understand that. And because we are nearing the very end, it will get worse, for all of us. Yet, despite it, your ex and children are watching you and seeing your witness. I know, that doesn't take the crap away or make it easier one bit, but He also sees it and your faith pleases Him. It blows, it hurts and I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. But, this is what He is bringing us through and it is He who is carrying us through it all. I pray none of this is taken harsh, because this is how I live through it.

[Mom2ten]

Moms, I am really struggling right now. My ex had our daughter in counseling at a county center who does not have a good reputation, and it was like pulling teeth to get involved in anything there. I pushed him to take her to a competent counselor and it looks like I am back to square one in fighting his lies about me. I took a letter to them last week saying I wanted to be involved, along with the divorce decree saying I had a right to her medical stuff and also a letter from the doc who treated me for depression during the marriage saying that I was not bipolar. The counselor called last week and told me the one time she had seen Lilly, but also said she would get Lilly's and the exes perspective on things. Perspective on what??? I'm going to call her asap to ask her that, but feel defeated already. The ex has a very good way of conning people and I honestly feel like David fighting Goliath. Please pray for a miracle.

[sunshine2777]

Does anyone know where they sell sackcloth and ashes around here? It's the only thing missing now.

[Miriam]

Moms, I am really struggling right now. My ex had our daughter in counseling at a county center who does not have a good reputation, and it was like pulling teeth to get involved in anything there. I pushed him to take her to a competent counselor and it looks like I am back to square one in fighting his lies about me. I took a letter to them last week saying I wanted to be involved, along with the divorce decree saying I had a right to her medical stuff and also a letter from the doc who treated me for depression during the marriage saying that I was not bipolar. The counselor called last week and told me the one time she had seen Lilly, but also said she would get Lilly's and the exes perspective on things. Perspective on what??? I'm going to call her asap to ask her that, but feel defeated already. The ex has a very good way of conning people and I honestly feel like David fighting Goliath. Please pray for a miracle.

Hi my name is Miriam and I will pray for you. God said in his word that by him we can run against a troop and leap over walls. Psalm 18 vs 29. As a matter of fact, reading the whole Psalm is comforting. I know what you are going through. I recently lost custody of my now 4year old daughter, and trusting God is not easy. Don't let the devil win, I know it is hard, but God is still able. I hope this helps.

Miriam

[Mom2ten]

((( Miriam ))) thank you so much! I'm so very sorry for your situation, it is painful indeed, yet God works ALL out for His glory!!! Welcome to RR!

[sunshine2777]

Hi my name is Miriam and I will pray for you. God said in his word that by him we can run against a troop and leap over walls. Psalm 18 vs 29. As a matter of fact, reading the whole Psalm is comforting. I know what you are going through. I recently lost custody of my now 4year old daughter, and trusting God is not easy. Don't let the devil win, I know it is hard, but God is still able. I hope this helps.

Miriam

Hi Miriam,

The gate is narrow according to Jesus. However, the particular path to the gate we want to go through, this path that you, Mom2ten and others find themselves on that is not traveled by many (thank goodness) as it is a very painful path. One not ladened with physical pain as much as emotional and mental pain. But, the bottom line for us moms who find themselves on a path they never even knew existed, let alone imagined themselves to be, is that, if nothing else comes out of it, our children get saved. You are not alone and God brings each of us sisters who can completely understand the pain. I hope you'll come in here often, or pm some of us, and stay in touch. The more strands in a cord, the stronger it is. And we have God in the center of our cord. When we reach the end of our rope, we can more easily tie a knot and hang on for one more day.

At the end of the day, salvation of our kids is the bottom line and they may have to travel a very convoluted route to get there, but as long as they get there, that's what matters.

[Mom2ten]

Hi Miriam,

The gate is narrow according to Jesus. However, the particular path to the gate we want to go through, this path that you, Mom2ten and others find themselves on that is not traveled by many (thank goodness) as it is a very painful path. One not ladened with physical pain as much as emotional and mental pain. But, the bottom line for us moms who find themselves on a path they never even knew existed, let alone imagined themselves to be, is that, if nothing else comes out of it, our children get saved. You are not alone and God brings each of us sisters who can completely understand the pain. I hope you'll come in here often, or pm some of us, and stay in touch. The more strands in a cord, the stronger it is. And we have God in the center of our cord. When we reach the end of our rope, we can more easily tie a knot and hang on for one more day.

At the end of the day, salvation of our kids is the bottom line and they may have to travel a very convoluted route to get there, but as long as they get there, that's what matters.

Well said Sunshine!!!

[sunshine2777]

I put a prayer request in the prayer forum but am putting one in here but I KNOW any of you ladies dealing with this can read between the lines of my prayer request and know what is going on.

"Please keep the girls in prayer. The world has one ear and satan through their father has the other and 2 out of 3 of the girls are listening hard to both. They are being poisoned continually by both but especially the ear that satan has. And they have chosen not to hear the truth and they have chosen not to talk to me for the most part. In essence, with all the brainwashing, they just dont care. The 2 girls that have chosen the wrong sources to listen to are 16 and 18."

I know God's the victory but I either have or am losing this battle. I can't tell because it has dragged on for so long. After 13 years of this nonsense, I am faced with not having 2 of the girls in my life. Their father has all but ruined them. I know God can restore but I"m losing any hope I"ll be around to see it. My heath is taking a huge dive as a result of everything. And to tell you the truth, I dont even care anymore. Who knew one's life could be over at 52? I sure didnt. And please, no one give me the lecture. I dont blame God, my circumstances dont define who He is. My faith is still in tact but I dont understand why He allows these things to keep happening but they do. I betting now that this nightmare (and the deep pain from it) are not going to end until I die. And I'm just plain exhausted. If God elects not to protect me from the enemy, there sure isnt anyone else who is going to. And its His call.

[Mom2ten]

I put a prayer request in the prayer forum but am putting one in here but I KNOW any of you ladies dealing with this can read between the lines of my prayer request and know what is going on.

"Please keep the girls in prayer. The world has one ear and satan through their father has the other and 2 out of 3 of the girls are listening hard to both. They are being poisoned continually by both but especially the ear that satan has. And they have chosen not to hear the truth and they have chosen not to talk to me for the most part. In essence, with all the brainwashing, they just dont care. The 2 girls that have chosen the wrong sources to listen to are 16 and 18."

I know God's the victory but I either have or am losing this battle. I can't tell because it has dragged on for so long. After 13 years of this nonsense, I am faced with not having 2 of the girls in my life. Their father has all but ruined them. I know God can restore but I"m losing any hope I"ll be around to see it. My heath is taking a huge dive as a result of everything. And to tell you the truth, I dont even care anymore. Who knew one's life could be over at 52? I sure didnt. And please, no one give me the lecture. I dont blame God, my circumstances dont define who He is. My faith is still in tact but I dont understand why He allows these things to keep happening but they do. I betting now that this nightmare (and the deep pain from it) are not going to end until I die. And I'm just plain exhausted. If God elects not to protect me from the enemy, there sure isnt anyone else who is going to. And its His call.

((( sunshine ))) Been there, done that but keep your eyes on Him! He is not done writing this story! My 19 year old is living with me for awhile. This is the kid who told the court she wanted nothing to do with me. Last night we were talking about the healthcare ruling which turned into the rapture and tribulation. I brought up the article on RR about going through the trib and she read it all and asked a couple of questions. I was very open and blunt with her about what people are going to go through and I think it sunk in. She has alot of choices to look at and make. She is 4 months pregnant and was living with the baby's dad. We spoke about that and I reminded her of what Scripture says about living with someone you're not married to. She heard I went away from the conversation in awe of God, how He opens doors of conversation and how this child of mine just may get saved before the rapture...one of the last I thought would get saved. In His time.
I really do believe that satan jacks up his attacks when things don't look good for him. Keep praying and trusting girlfriend...Romans 8:28!!!

[Acts5:41]

It's been my experience, in a situation like that, everything in flames around me, hopeless... that's when I turn it over to God completely and THAT's where I see results.

I could give several examples, but the last one would be my husband's drinking. A year ago it looked hopeless. I had to completely surrender the situation to Him and seek His will in all of it. There was, nothing I could do.

And, over the course of months, God intervened with my husband. He's a lot better now.

I also had that experience with my mental illness, after Ron's accident, and other times.

I know in my own situation I try to hang onto the situation and "fix" it on my own. God has to wait until I am past the end of my rope and falling off the cliff - I have to let go then!

[Kliska]

I know God's the victory but I either have or am losing this battle. I can't tell because it has dragged on for so long. After 13 years of this nonsense, I am faced with not having 2 of the girls in my life. Their father has all but ruined them. I know God can restore but I"m losing any hope I"ll be around to see it. My heath is taking a huge dive as a result of everything. And to tell you the truth, I dont even care anymore. Who knew one's life could be over at 52? I sure didnt. And please, no one give me the lecture. I dont blame God, my circumstances dont define who He is. My faith is still in tact but I dont understand why He allows these things to keep happening but they do. I betting now that this nightmare (and the deep pain from it) are not going to end until I die. And I'm just plain exhausted. If God elects not to protect me from the enemy, there sure isnt anyone else who is going to. And its His call.

I don't think that anyone here is giving any "lecture," but we can take comfort from scripture shared in empathy. One thing to keep in mind, everyone has their free will. Your daughters, your husband, everyone else involved. You are answerable for your own choices, not for anyone elses. God is your Saviour, take comfort in that. He also loves your children even more than you, or their father ever could. He has a vested interest in the outcome of their lives, He wants them to come to Him. He is the shepherd, we the sheep. Roll your burdens off on Him completely; He is the only one that can carry them, and He is the only one to trust.

Take heart in His love of you, and rest in the knowledge of His might. Any road we walk down, He's already on the corner in front of us. Bad things will happen to us, but His promise is to enter in and work things to the good for those that love Him, conforming us to the image of His Son. The Lord is with you.

Grace and peace,
Kliska

[Mom2ten]

I don't think that anyone here is giving any "lecture," but we can take comfort from scripture shared in empathy. One thing to keep in mind, everyone has their free will. Your daughters, your husband, everyone else involved. You are answerable for your own choices, not for anyone elses. God is your Saviour, take comfort in that. He also loves your children even more than you, or their father ever could. He has a vested interest in the outcome of their lives, He wants them to come to Him. He is the shepherd, we the sheep. Roll your burdens off on Him completely; He is the only one that can carry them, and He is the only one to trust.

Take heart in His love of you, and rest in the knowledge of His might. Any road we walk down, He's already on the corner in front of us. Bad things will happen to us, but His promise is to enter in and work things to the good for those that love Him, conforming us to the image of His Son. The Lord is with you.

Grace and peace,
Kliska

Amen

[Mom2ten]

Moms, I need prayer. I pushed my ex to take our 13 year old to a more competent counselor awhile ago and he finally did. She decided she didn't like the counselor and has stopped seeing her but is seeing the doctor. I had already sent divorce papers and the letter from the doc who treated me for depression during the marriage saying I was not bipolar, something that her dad insists I am. I called the doctor last week to get involved with him and talk to him about her case. His nurse called today and asked for the divorce papers, and I told her the counselor already has them. I told her that my daughter is frustrated and told me last week that her dad does all of the talking and she doesn't get to talk herself. The nurse said she is going to let the doc know and get back to me. One thing my daughter told me is that her dad told the doc that I willingly left at Christmas along with alot of other lies. I need the Lord to open the door between me and this doc and that He will open the doc's eyes and see the truth.

[EarsToHear]

I don't think that anyone here is giving any "lecture," but we can take comfort from scripture shared in empathy. One thing to keep in mind, everyone has their free will. Your daughters, your husband, everyone else involved. You are answerable for your own choices, not for anyone elses. God is your Saviour, take comfort in that. He also loves your children even more than you, or their father ever could. He has a vested interest in the outcome of their lives, He wants them to come to Him. He is the shepherd, we the sheep. Roll your burdens off on Him completely; He is the only one that can carry them, and He is the only one to trust.

Take heart in His love of you, and rest in the knowledge of His might. Any road we walk down, He's already on the corner in front of us. Bad things will happen to us, but His promise is to enter in and work things to the good for those that love Him, conforming us to the image of His Son. The Lord is with you.

Grace and peace,
Kliska

A sweet reminder and a wonderful comfort to moms who have hardened children, be they teens or grown and living their lives apart, who are susceptible to the lies of the lost and the false glitter of the world.

Thank you for the encouragement, dear lady.

[Kliska]

Moms, I need prayer. I pushed my ex to take our 13 year old to a more competent counselor awhile ago and he finally did. She decided she didn't like the counselor and has stopped seeing her but is seeing the doctor. I had already sent divorce papers and the letter from the doc who treated me for depression during the marriage saying I was not bipolar, something that her dad insists I am. I called the doctor last week to get involved with him and talk to him about her case. His nurse called today and asked for the divorce papers, and I told her the counselor already has them. I told her that my daughter is frustrated and told me last week that her dad does all of the talking and she doesn't get to talk herself. The nurse said she is going to let the doc know and get back to me. One thing my daughter told me is that her dad told the doc that I willingly left at Christmas along with alot of other lies. I need the Lord to open the door between me and this doc and that He will open the doc's eyes and see the truth.

A sweet reminder and a wonderful comfort to moms who have hardened children, be they teens or grown and living their lives apart, who are susceptible to the lies of the lost and the false glitter of the world.

Thank you for the encouragement, dear lady.

[sunshine2777]

Please pray for daughter Erica. The prayers are desperately needed.

Please pray for God to open a door to get the girls out of that house. Their dad is mentally ill and extremely abusive. Even at their age, it seems like there is something that can legally be done, to remove them. He needs alot of help. Thanks.

[mbrown1219]

Dear Lord,

Lifting these concerns up to You Lord, knowing that nothing happens in this world that does not pass through Your hands first and knowing that You are able to work it all out for the good (Romans 8:28) in Your perfect timing. We see dimly here, Lord. We do not know what marvelous glories earthly trials are storing up for us in heaven. Let us pray without ceasing and trust in You. Even so, come Lord Jesus. Amen!

James 1:4-8

http://www.preceptaustin.org/2corint...commentary.htm

May God richly bless you all, moms!

[sunshine2777]

Just needed to slip in here and grab a seat in this group this morning. A group that can understand what I am saying. Things have gotten worse. I thought w/ the girls getting older, that I'd be a little closer to the end of this thing. I don't know. To quote a friend recently, let's just say I have been through hell. Most prayer requests are always for physical situations such has health or financial or court or whatever. I've had plenty of those to last a life time. What is kicking my butt is the emotional pain from so many directions. I've experienced parental rejection, husband rejection, friend rejection but I'm not so sure, after my history, that I can handle total rejection from my girls. And that is what I'm facing.

I thought I was near the end of this noncustodialmom type journey since the girls are getting older. but I was sooooo wrong. I am sitting here, recovering from hip replacement surgery and struggling like crazy to accept the rejection by 2 of my girls. My ex who is a psychopath (not just slinging words here) has really messed them up and he continues because he is getting worse. He has gone off the tracks. Many of you would not even believe some of the things I could tell you but I know some of you would. We have given my 18 year old opportunityafter opportunity to come up and see me. She says she wants to, she says she loves me, etc. but if we dont do things her way, she doesnt. How can this generation be to uncaring? One of my 16 year olds came up here this summer but demanded to go back to her dad's in less than a week. I'm rambling here but in short, my own kids, have rejected me. And this didnt happen until now after all the parental alienation I have been fighting for years.

Regardless of how it is, the problem is the pain. I"ve handled emotional and mental pain for so long, I'm not sure I can do this. I dont blame God but I can't understand why He continues to allow so much on me. I'm ready for my life to be over and I'm only 52. I have so many other burdens that I have to take care of, this particular one is just killing me. The stupid thoughts of suicide are creeping back in and I know where they are from. I know Jesus understands the pain, he's feels rejection every day. But I'm not Jesus, I'm just a very tired me. I took calls from both the 18 year old and 16 year old right after my surgery and they were in tears from living in their situation w/ their dad. Of course I listened and tried to help them on the phone, even in my own physical pain because that is what a mom does. but I get rejection back after they dry their own tears. They are soooooooo messed up from their dad. They lie to cps so I can't file another cps complaint. I've told them to call the police when he crosses the line and gets violent. they choose to live there. they are THAT screwed up.

I"ve told some of my story before, but I"m sitting here 2 weeks out of surgery and feel like I'm in a never ending mourning period. This isn't conducive to healing either. My boss seems to think 2 weeks is plenty of time to heal and I'm already working (I work out of the house). I am such a nightmare of a life and want it to stop. yes, I know I am to praise Him at times like this... but I haven't been able to force myself. I'm not mad at God, I dont blame Him, I love Him and need Him. I just needed to share my heart a little this morning so someone else would know and might pray. I know you guys get this. After a 13 year nightmare, facing rejection from the kids at this point seems like the tipping point. I'm tired of the sadness.

Thanks for listening. There isn't much anyone can say that hasn't been said. I dont have a close friend and I just needed to talk this morning.