Problem with anger.

[4given]

I think you will find this is much more common than you think. I truly believe some of those folks who seem to always have it together are putting on a good show. I struggle with this I have all my life it is My Thorn in the Flesh, who know's perhaps it was Paul's also. The bible clearly shows Peter had an anger problem. Why else would he have drawn his sword and cut off the ear of the Roman Centurion at the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was arrested after being betrayed by Judas.

My father in law is a well respected man around town dozens of friends from where he retired and the coffee shops. But I bet you many folks don;t know how he treats his wife or children at home he is mean. He is lost and refuses to go to church.

I struggle with it daily it is part of picking up my cross and carrying it sometimes I drop my cross. I have to ask God to forgive me.

[EarsToHear]

Hi Jlutz, I've not had the propensity for violence, but am 21 years into a very poor marriage and have 4 wonderful kids. My personal solution is complete immersion in prayer and fasting, until God's peace fills you to overflowing. Also, stop expecting anything from your spouse, and be thankful for whatever good she does do. Be the best husband and father you can be, and focus on sharing the love of our Father with your children. Show kindness to your wife and when you feel danger rising, completely immerse yourself in prayer and fasting. Sometimes a few days away from the spouse combined with complete immersion in prayer and fasting is helpful. Let your focus be on Christ, keep your eyes on him, and constantly seek the comforting guidance of the Holy Spirit. May the blessings of the Lord be upon you.

Excuse me for being in the men's forum, but this Spirit-filled, practical advice about expectations and thankfulness is priceless. Doing the things mentioned can help anyone struggling with anger get through it without harming others and self.

Excellent, TT.

[Shannon9602]

When you get to this point: Remember it is Satan behind all this. He is whispering your hear to cause you to become anger whatever he is saying or whatever he is showing you. Satan goal is to cause you to sin and wants us humans to be miserable and unhappy. He is a father of all lies.

[DONNIE]

Anger is a habit. Been there, done that. You must keep trying, keep praying and you can unlearn your angry habits. Once you do it feels like freedom! I found it helpful to see myself and my actions from my wife's point of view. I was ugly and would in no way want to be on the opposite side of me. It has been a process but once I committed to her that I wanted to be free from anger and needed her help things instantly started getting better. Now I can see a happiness in my wife I haven't seen in years and it's wonderful! Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry!

Just my $.02 (not professional advice)

Donnie

[Jlutz]

I appreciate all the advice. I have been doing much better, at least relative to when I made the OP. There are still many times when I get angry, but I no longer feel out of control or that I may do something horrible. I pray about it every day, all day, and God is defiantly helping me through. Please continue to pray for me and my wife, kids too.

[Foche4]

I was in the same boat. What it took for me was a break down moment when I totally lost it. I saw the fear in my kids and wife's eyes. I totally gave it up to God and realized I was becoming my father. It had to do with some sex abuse, being unwanted and such. For me-I needed to see my faults, give to to God, and ask my family and God for forgiveness. Pray about it all the time, take time for yourself and you wife for alone time, and find out maybe what making you mad maybe something in the past. It does get better-I never have been happiar. God Bless

[Buzzardhut]

I need some help from other men.

I have an anger problem. It seems to be getting worse. Every little thing has the potential to set me off. I am constantly living in a state of irritability. I get angry at the smallest things. It's getting worse, and I'm worried. I find my self losing it with my kids more and more. I yell at them a lot. I feel horrible about it, and I always apologize and tell them how much I love them, but I'm afraid I'm doing damage. My kids are 6 and 2.

My wife and I are constantly fighting, and I think most of my anger issues stem from our bad marriage. Not that I'm blaming her, I know this is my problem. I never used to be this way, I was always happy go lucky, but after 9 years of a bad marriage all the stored up bitterness and resentment is coming out. At least I think that's what is happening, I don't know how else to explain it.

that's the root of the problem right there, remove the bitterness and disappointment and the anger will dissipate.

I'm really worried that I'm going to lose control one of these days. I'm not a violent person, but I feel like Bruce banner turning into the hulk sometimes. Honestly I'm scared.

and it will get worse if you don't resolve the personal problems with the wife, it's a 2-way street and she needs to work on it with you

I've been praying about this, but it's not getting better. I know other men also have gone through this I would appreciate your prayer and advice.

This is not an easy thing to write, I've never discussed it with anyone before, but I have to get some help

Take anger management counseling at a clinic or local church, they should be free or even a sliding pay scale, they will also provide other personal counseling as well. Can't do it alone, the wife needs to be involved as well, maybe you and your younger son can get involved with cub scouts where you are with other fathers spending time with their sons.

[Mommytoa3rdgradeboy]

Chemical imbalance, perhaps???

At least you admit that you have an anger problem. My Dad has an anger problem; he also has a pride problem. For him, the two seem to go hand in hand.