Rarely used English sentences

[ANewCreature]

I might have asked this once before, but has anyone ever said anything, or heard anything, that just doesn't sound like a normal sentence in English?

it especially happens with kids, I'm sure, as with the teens & preteens at our youth group Christmas party last night. One of the birls has really long hair, and was enjoying flinging it around with her head as our speaker was prepared to talk; she was hitting another kid with it. At which piont I said...

"Please keep your hair to yourself."

We both chuckled but she listened.

[Wishing4]

Maybe the same type of thing -- Since becoming a parent I've said things I've never imagined like "Stop licking the window." "Cheerios do not belong up your nose." "Please do not sit on your brother."

I have really long hair (hip length). Sometimes when sitting really close my DH will say, "Your hair is attacking me."

[Mom2ten]

Ok...now I'm really looking forward to what Raphael, Wally and Hoot man are going to post. Ought to be a good thread!!!
I remember telling my son to straighten up and fly right. He literally cried, saying 'but Mommy, I can't fly'

[ANewCreature]

lol, reminds me of another one in Sparks in AWANA once. The one classroom we used had a Bible verse on the wall w/letters made out of construction paper. One kid was trying to pull one off and I said: "Those letters are to remain on the wall."

[icebear]

Maybe the same type of thing -- Since becoming a parent I've said things I've never imagined like "Stop licking the window." "Cheerios do not belong up your nose." "Please do not sit on your brother."

books are not for eating

no painting with your peanut butter

don't feed your crayons to the dog

Christmas lights are not meant to go up your nose

[ThePenguin]

My friend was playing a video game once and according to another friend in the first part of the game there's something hidden that you can find. My friend didn't believe my other friend so he said, "I'm going to find it and prove it isn't there."

[RaptureReady_7]

My Grandfather used to say, "that'll learn ya".

My Dad had some "odd" sentences. Such as, "she has a black belt in ignorance". "That'll break you from sucking eggs". And another more popular one, "she/he/they are ate up with ignorance" or just, "plain ate up".

I am from the southern Ohio, W.VA, northern KY border area, so we have a lot of sentences like that.

[Raphael]

An aunt of mine, watching her daughter's weight, told her to "Go weigh". They found her that afternoon, about ten blocks up the street.

English sentences you will never hear from the White House:

"I have seen the error of my ways."

"I am endorsing Rick Perry for President."

"George Bush was right."

"We've GOT to stop borrowing money!"

"I encourage all my supporters to give generously in 2012 to the Republican National Committee."

[Musician in His house]

Jerry Clower, that loveable Christian comedian, once was telling a story about a woman who was "educated beyond her intelligence."

I think we have a lot of people in D.C. who are like that . . .

[Kevin]

Our youth minister in a SS class - "It's hard to think like God". I just smirked and said "yep, almost impossible!"

Another adult SS class, a guy trying to remember a Bible story. He said "You know, it's the one with the woman. The SINNER!". Well, that narrows it down!

Used to be a billboard in Kentucky - "TATTOOS - while you wait!"

[Wally]

a couple fries short of a Happy meal says something.


A load short of a couple bricks says a bit more.


I always loved mom when I got home from school she'd look at me and say, Are you home?

[Kevin]

I'm at that age when I'm old enough to keep laughing at the same jokes. So this happens regularly.

My wife will say "I'm going to the store if you want anything.". Or, "there's more food if you want more".

I say "What if I don't?".

She says "I'm still going", or "It's still there!". I don't know why I find this so funny!

Or when I'm leaving to go somewhere, I'll say "I'm off". Then after a moment add "but you knew that!". Guess that says a lot!!

[scott00049]

Wife - "How long will you be gone?"

Me - "The whole time"

[IamHis]

You can't get there from here.

Which is used to answer a person who asks directions
from a particularly difficult position on the map.

Or , what we tell people who think they can get to heaven
by their good works.

[grace-saved]

My Grandpa used to say, "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know.."
Some good "momisms" I remember telling my kids,
Shaving your eyebrows makes you look silly...
Please don't feed your beans to the baby..he has no teeth yet..
If you never sleep, your words won't grow.

[Aussie Micha]

books are not for eating

Yep, said that one a few times too

Recently I said to my toddler- 'STOP, licking the dog!'

My dh said to me when my toddler didn't want a breastfeed anymore- 'your milk maybe off!'

[Raphael]

Statements you will never hear:

1) I've got to spend more time on Facebook.
2) I need to put on a few more pounds.
3) Madonna AND Janet Jackson? That will be the best Super Bowl halftime EVER!


If someone asks the time: "You mean, right now?"

[Wally]

oops duplicated tha one. - PC needed unbunching.

[Wally]

Any cookies left? They're all. (gone)


Don't be so sloosslich! Clumsy-stupid-foolish.

When you get to be my age, you'll be older.


Someone(thing) has his/her/its underware in a bunch. (we said this when the computer hungup or crashed - hence our remedy - unbunching - snapping the elastic)

[Kevin]

I would backup my PC, but I can't find reverse!