Classmate Horrendous Crime

[Foche4]

Friend from High School has been convicted of murdering his wife. He has admitted to it and taken responsibility. He will spend the rest of his life in prison.
Very much deserved.
He states he has accepted Jesus Christ and is saved.
I correspond twice a month, send bible studies, and pray from him and her. Is that enough? Sometimes I feel-I should be doing more and he should be too.
I feel uneasy at times and not sure what to do except pray. Just wondering what some others thoughts/suggestions are?
Thanks

[Faithnhope]

You are a wonderful friend to stand by him in spite of what he's done. My brother is in prison and I understand how you feel. A life sentence doesn't always mean life - does he have the possibility of parol ever? If so, you need to encourage your friend to get a job and take all the classes he can - I mean anger management and such. He needs to start working on making visible changes that the board will look at. The sooner he starts the better.

Does your friend have family that is sticking by him? Or are you the only one? For a long time I was the only one. Eventually, the rest of my family came around and are starting to forgive him. It's a long hard process for everyone. You could try reaching out to his family - if that's something you might feel comfortable doing.

You are both doing enough. I know that it doesn't feel like it. That's because you are both in a situation you can't fix - only God can. Keep praying and writing. Praying is very important - the evil inside a prison is very scary and your friend needs God's protection.

Praying for you, too!

[IMSAVED]

Friend from High School has been convicted of murdering his wife. He has admitted to it and taken responsibility. He will spend the rest of his life in prison.
Very much deserved.
He states he has accepted Jesus Christ and is saved.
I correspond twice a month, send bible studies, and pray from him and her. Is that enough? Sometimes I feel-I should be doing more and he should be too.
I feel uneasy at times and not sure what to do except pray. Just wondering what some others thoughts/suggestions are?
Thanks

That is enough.You are a great witness and friend to this man.

[Foche4]

He won't have a chance for parole for over 40 years. Which would put him around 85. I suggested for him to get into anger management, bible studies, and even college courses. He says time is slow, so hopefully he stays busy. I have not heard from him much over last 2 months-I just write regardless. I thought about calling the prison to see if my letters get through or if he is alive. I'm not sure on his family or kids have anything to do with him. He sounded suicidal around Christmas. Thanks for the suggestions.

[Acts5:41]

You might encourage him to connect with prison fellowship; they do good work in the prisons. My uncle was very involved until his stroke.

[Faithnhope]

If you are worried it is okay to call and speak with his caseworker. I've done that a few times myself. Is the 40 years his top or bottom number? My brother just recently had 8 years knocked off his top number. He went from 30 years to 22 - which means he will be coming up for parole in 2 to 3 years (10 years served). I know this all sounds confusing. Your friend will only do the time that God wants. If it's 40 years than that's what he'll serve. I've seen God do some very amazing things for my brother.

College isn't free for inmates (I know everyone thinks so) so unless you know he has the money I wouldn't push that. They do offer lots of drug, alcohol and anger management classes. Also, some GED - not much more than that. I would keep encouraging him to get a job if he's eligible. And I know this sounds weird but whenever he does something positive tell him you are proud of him. You have no idea of what a difference that will make.

Depending on how long he's been in, he may be trying to cut ties with the outside because it hurts too much to remember. Keep writing and praying. He's fighting a hard battle with himself, we want him to win.

[Genesis22]

Yes, you are definitely doing enough! It's so great that there are still people like you who realize that all sin is sin and we need to reach out to murderers because we are no better than them without Jesus. If possible, encourage him to see if there is a bible study group or something in the prison.

[Foche4]

Good idea on case worker. Didnt know he had one. I will call tomorrow. I have encouraged him on things but havent heard back. He's not eligible till after 45 years. He lied about it for awhile and hid her initially. Makes me sick. But he's still human. Alot of hate on him being a monster.

[sunshine2777]

Another idea is to contact a local biker ministry... I dont know where he is at in the country, but there is like a biker ministry in the area and they usually have members that do prison ministry. Maybe look on up, contact them and speak to the guy leading the prison ministry about personally visiting your friend. One of the bigger ministries is CMA, Christian Motorcycle Association. You can look them up on the web I think its, www. CMAUSA.org but I could be wrong. Chuck Colson has prison ministries too (I think). You may can find someone who has access who can look him up specifically and minister to him!

[Foche4]

I contacted the Biker club and my friends case worker. Hoping to hear back soon. Let ya'all know. Thanks for the info. Maybe try to do a visit sometime

[Serene]

continue to pray...God will put it on your heart what to do. Its a really good thing that you are staying apart of this mans life and giving him some light in the darkness. Its really a true act of love what you are doing. Stay strong in him.

[Faithnhope]

If you visit him, you might want to post asking for prayer before you go. I don't know if you visited him in county - the pen is much worse. The first few visits are pretty tramatic. You are a wonderful friend! Standing by someone who has committed murder takes a calling from God I believe, it's a very emotionally challenging thing to do. I knew in my heart if I walked away from my brother he would never come to Christ. Now he is talking about Jesus returning. One more soul snatched from hell!

[Raphael]

I did a stint for Prison Fellowship (the one begun by Charles Colson) until the local chapter lost its funding. I would google "Prison ministries" and contact those you feel would be helpful.

The soon-to-occur Rapture as discussed on this board is definitely a source of "blessed hope" for your friend. When the Rapture occurs, his prison stay will be "commuted".

As has been pointed out, your friend will face many challenges while imprisoned. One is the growth of Islam behind bars. Nonetheless, continue to keep in touch, even if he does not - often his feelings of despair will, by themselves, prevent his communicating with you at times. He needs to know he has contacts on the outside and Christian fellowship on the inside.

[Acts5:41]

I know when I'm depressed I go into turtle mode.

I'll be praying.

My brother murdered a drug dealer back in the 80's, and now proudly sports a "teardrop" tattoo.

[Foche4]

Friend from my Bible study group did Prison Minstry on Death Row in AZ, so this is what kind of pushed me to write him. I called his case worker and he wasn't the nicest guy to talk too. Just basically called him fine and didn't give me any info. Which I suppose he couldnt tell me too much. I contacted the Biker Ministry and waiting to get some info back. I think they will have to get permission from him so he can get on there visitor list, which I hear its only about 6-10 people on list. Thanks for all the comments back. I was going to write over upcoming weekend and send a Bible study with it. Alittle discouraging at times when I don't hear back after 5 letters or more. But I'm sure life in there is rough.

[Faithnhope]

Hmmm...I've never heard of a limit to the number of visitors approved for visits - most inmates don't get visitors. You will have to fill out paperwork and have a background check done before you can visit. Are you sure your friend has money for stamps, envelopes and paper? He may not be writing because he can't afford to. They don't provide those items for free to the inmates.

[Raphael]

That's correct, and there are challenges getting certain items to an inmate. You may want to ask for a list of "contraband" if you have not already. I once had a paperback book returned. I already knew that you could not send hardback books, due to the ability to add homemade glue to a cut-up cover and construct a "shiv" (knife). It can even be done with enough pieces of thick paper.

[Foche4]

Maybe on the visitor list I misunderstood. I thought it did say if I visited that there is an approved list and pretty sure there was a limit. Good idea though on him not having any money for paper, pens or stamps. I'll call back and ask if I can send those items. I don't want to just send money, in case, it goes for something other than that. Thanks for help

[Faithnhope]

They probably won't let you send them but might let you buy them for him. It doesn't hurt to ask. I just send my brother money but he is my brother. You are in a little different situation.

[Foche4]

I'll call tomorrow. I was too busy end of the day. I will try to send those items or buy for him over the phone. I'm not comfortable just sending him cash. I'm going to keep writing every 2 weeks and hopefully God will lead him to write me back. God Bless