Can't believe how weak i am

[malron5]

{mod snip}
Hi everyone
Haven't been on the forums for a long time, but sin in my life has reached a point, where I don't know what to do. I'm talking about sexual lust, I found this thread while looking for help or someone to just listen and pray for me. {mod snip}

[Wally]

Malron... Howdy.


I doubt you suffer any less than most men. The temptations have been there since the Tree.

The things men face are often unique to men. And the temptations seem custom designed and perfectly timed.


As this is a public forum, please be careful with additional posts. For now perhaps the men folk will share tools and helps God has given them
in this struggle.

Although not a great fan of this group - Arterburn's, Every Man's Battle offers much insight to this particular struggle.
Common tools to deal with these temptations are:



Prayer.
Be in it All the time. Ask Jesus for wisdom and strength.
Submit to the ordeal and thank Him for the fire - to purify and mature by His Spirit.
Pray for the women who either with or without intent catch your eye. Ask the Lord to bless them to their husbands -or future ones.
Pray they learn to treasure their gift of beauty and be chaste with it.
Think of them as sisters and daughters, and pray against those who might lead them astray, or worse, husbands who fail to follow Christ
and Love their wives and daughters.

Partner.
It does not work being alone. Find a friend. Yes we have Jesus, yes He knows our weaknesses,
But when we sin, we often break the communication channel - Jesus is still there, but we aren't listening.
A Brother for adversity is very important. Accountibility partners are one of the greatest tools in this struggle.

Wife.
This is the toughest and critical part for married men. Trying to explain ourselves to our helpmeet. Often the issue is being able to communicate our struggles, desires,
temptations, without becoming something loathed in her sight. Every Woman's Battle is also helpful in this respect as both books help with seeing
how our sin nature creates so many problems, and then sin confounds God's solutions for dealing with the problems.


The solutions are different for each man's battle is different. For some it is simply changing travel routes. For others, computer filters.
Family counseling, discipline regemes also help. It escalates to leaving jobs and perhaps psychological and medical help.



But always the best start is with Jesus - be in His Word. Here is a promise:
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

He has given us His Sprirt. Surrender to Him.
He has made provision. Find it.

And it will help to stop promising to be something you are not. Often the biggest problem is we want to clean up our act.
And we push Him aside and work for our own glory.

That is a prime setup to fail.

Daily, our prayer should be something like:

Lord, Bless my wife with the Husband You want her to have.
Renew my mind, conform me to Your will, that I may seek You in all things.
To You alone Jesus, be all Honor and Glory.


Yes, you can PM me. I will not claim to be a victor in this battle.....

Psalm 3:8
Salvation belongs to the LORD.

Psalm 89:18
For our shield belongs to the LORD, And our king to the Holy One of Israel.

[Kliska]

Malron; I'd suggest you find a Christian Psychologist (a true clinical psychologist) to discuss this with ASAP, at the very least, you need to go to your pastor and discuss what is happening. If you hide your deeds in the dark, they never will come to light. The members here can pray for you, but this situation is not suitable for a public board.

[Steve53]

Malron, we hope you can appreciate why we had to edit your post.

The advice given by Kliska is sound and should not be ignored. You need some personal interaction and help of a type we're unable to provide through a public forum.

We can, and we will, pray for you.

Please keep us advised (in general terms) of your progress.

[Christ4ever777]

Yeah, I was the same way until I got exposed because I kept doing things in the dark. The Bible does say what is done in the dark will come to light. So seek help and try not to hide anything. Right now I'm speaking to a christian counselor and Im telling her everything Im doing it helps keeps me accountable and it also helps relieves stress worry I'm feeling. Thirdly it helps because Satan will not be able to use it against me because its already out in the open and I have already confessed it to God and to my counselor.

[old_andy]

The first step in getting stronger is admitting your weakness. Now go and get the help you need.

Praying for you.

[iSong6:3]

{mod snip}
Hi everyone
Haven't been on the forums for a long time, but sin in my life has reached a point, where I don't know what to do. I'm talking about sexual lust, I found this thread while looking for help or someone to just listen and pray for me. {mod snip}

We've given you the next step you need to take.

I read your original post, you may well have been sexually abused as a child. Without proper help, that sort of thing devastates lives. It even turns the victims into predators, something they never wanted. The things you love and care about in your life are being threatened, you may lose it all...

You need to get professional help by someone who can work through all this with you. Praying you take that step.

[malron5]

Hi everyone
first off, sorry about the length of my message and the content. But , apart from the Lord this forum is the first time I have let anyone know what I am really like. I do believe I am saved but I don't feel like a christian, I suppose I feel like a hypacrite more than anything. I want to thank you all for your prayers and advice, as I was reading the advice to see counselers and physcologists I felt a terror run through my whole body so I'm not sure if I'll ever work up enough courage to take that path. I could see my pastor if it was only something like internet porn, but with my particular problem I would be ashamed and embarrased beyond belief. Getting back to counsellors or physcs , we don't have those options in such a small and remote town, the nearest would be an hour and a half away drive and my wife would then have to know. I love my wife dearly and have often said to God that she deserves someone much better than me. But that prayer advice, about being the husband that the Lord wants her to have I'll pray that everyday and stand on it and also 1Cor 10:13. I better not ramble to much again, I'll let you know how I go

[Steve53]

I'm not sure if I'll ever work up enough courage to take that path.

With God all things are possible. Stop rationalizing the "why not's" and get the help you need.

[Tall Timbers]

Praying

[iSong6:3]

Hi everyone
first off, sorry about the length of my message and the content. But , apart from the Lord this forum is the first time I have let anyone know what I am really like.

That's an important first step. You see we did not run from you, we came in to help you. We only edited the content cuz this is a PG-13 board.

I do believe I am saved but I don't feel like a christian, I suppose I feel like a hypacrite more than anything. I want to thank you all for your prayers and advice, as I was reading the advice to see counselers and physcologists I felt a terror run through my whole body so I'm not sure if I'll ever work up enough courage to take that path. I could see my pastor if it was only something like internet porn, but with my particular problem I would be ashamed and embarrased beyond belief. Getting back to counsellors or physcs , we don't have those options in such a small and remote town, the nearest would be an hour and a half away drive and my wife would then have to know. I love my wife dearly and have often said to God that she deserves someone much better than me. But that prayer advice, about being the husband that the Lord wants her to have I'll pray that everyday and stand on it and also 1Cor 10:13. I better not ramble to much again, I'll let you know how I go

Imo, it would be more shaming and embarrassing to get caught in some slip-up. Those always happen. If you are a child of God, He will not allow you to have a secret life forever. For your own good.

Drive an hour and a half. Get the help you need.

Please do let us know how its going with you.

[Wally]

Malron;

Be honest with Jesus.

Do not hide from Him. It is impossible. Consider the advice so far, You will fail by yourself.

Yes, Jesus can do all things, but we often choose to do it our way,

And in His compassion for us, He allows the more difficult path to be taken.

Find some respected friends to help. Call a Christian professional.

[Kliska]

Hi everyone
first off, sorry about the length of my message and the content. But , apart from the Lord this forum is the first time I have let anyone know what I am really like.

You came here for a reason; for prayer and advice. Please consider that the Lord is indeed telling you what to do through the people here.

I do believe I am saved but I don't feel like a christian, I suppose I feel like a hypacrite more than anything.

While sin is covered in salvation, sanctification is a process too. I'm assuming from what you've said here that you are praying to God for guidance; your brothers and sisters here are offering that advice with prayer.

I want to thank you all for your prayers and advice, as I was reading the advice to see counselers and physcologists I felt a terror run through my whole body so I'm not sure if I'll ever work up enough courage to take that path. I could see my pastor if it was only something like internet porn, but with my particular problem I would be ashamed and embarrased beyond belief. Getting back to counsellors or physcs , we don't have those options in such a small and remote town, the nearest would be an hour and a half away drive and my wife would then have to know. I love my wife dearly and have often said to God that she deserves someone much better than me. But that prayer advice, about being the husband that the Lord wants her to have I'll pray that everyday and stand on it and also 1Cor 10:13. I better not ramble to much again, I'll let you know how I go

This isn't meant to sound harsh at all, but of course you're terrified. You do understand that if you are this nervous, and from what you have described what you are engaging in could very well be illegal. You are hurting yourself and others by hiding this affliction. The only way that is going to change is with help. That verse in Corinthians is clear; He provides a way of escape. It is also up to you to take that way of escape. We live in a time of health care, including mental health care. You absolutely need to go get help. If you want to be the man that your wife deserves, you'll have to find the courage to really step up and take care of the issue; and that means telling someone that you are going to work face-to-face with to change the problem.

[iSong6:3]

How are you doing, malron?

[icebear]

dear brother. its hard. as a lady i respect the struggle you endure. it is hard. it is painful. but love conquers all, brother

[Prodigal Son]

Malron... Howdy.


I doubt you suffer any less than most men. The temptations have been there since the Tree.

The things men face are often unique to men. And the temptations seem custom designed and perfectly timed.


As this is a public forum, please be careful with additional posts. For now perhaps the men folk will share tools and helps God has given them
in this struggle.

Although not a great fan of this group - Arterburn's, Every Man's Battle offers much insight to this particular struggle.
Common tools to deal with these temptations are:



Prayer.
Be in it All the time. Ask Jesus for wisdom and strength.
Submit to the ordeal and thank Him for the fire - to purify and mature by His Spirit.
Pray for the women who either with or without intent catch your eye. Ask the Lord to bless them to their husbands -or future ones.
Pray they learn to treasure their gift of beauty and be chaste with it.
Think of them as sisters and daughters, and pray against those who might lead them astray, or worse, husbands who fail to follow Christ
and Love their wives and daughters.

Partner.
It does not work being alone. Find a friend. Yes we have Jesus, yes He knows our weaknesses,
But when we sin, we often break the communication channel - Jesus is still there, but we aren't listening.
A Brother for adversity is very important. Accountibility partners are one of the greatest tools in this struggle.

Wife.
This is the toughest and critical part for married men. Trying to explain ourselves to our helpmeet. Often the issue is being able to communicate our struggles, desires,
temptations, without becoming something loathed in her sight. Every Woman's Battle is also helpful in this respect as both books help with seeing
how our sin nature creates so many problems, and then sin confounds God's solutions for dealing with the problems.


The solutions are different for each man's battle is different. For some it is simply changing travel routes. For others, computer filters.
Family counseling, discipline regemes also help. It escalates to leaving jobs and perhaps psychological and medical help.



But always the best start is with Jesus - be in His Word. Here is a promise:
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

He has given us His Sprirt. Surrender to Him.
He has made provision. Find it.

And it will help to stop promising to be something you are not. Often the biggest problem is we want to clean up our act.
And we push Him aside and work for our own glory.

That is a prime setup to fail.

Daily, our prayer should be something like:

Lord, Bless my wife with the Husband You want her to have.
Renew my mind, conform me to Your will, that I may seek You in all things.
To You alone Jesus, be all Honor and Glory.


Yes, you can PM me. I will not claim to be a victor in this battle.....

Psalm 3:8
Salvation belongs to the LORD.

Psalm 89:18
For our shield belongs to the LORD, And our king to the Holy One of Israel.

This is very good advice here. I have in the past, and still sometimes struggle with this sin. All i will add, is that everytime i fail, i feel shame. That shame has in the past, kept me from going to the Lord on this. Just like Adam felt shame and tried to hide from God. I try to fix it first, and fall in deeper. The enemy will lie to you and tell you, "that you are not worthy. How can you be saved?" We are not worthy. But that is the point. Nobody deserves to be forgivin by God. By He forgives just the same. Most christians will have issues until our redemption at the rapture. We cannot fix our flesh, only Christ can. Trust in Christ and give it to Him.