Potty training trouble

[Zazzy]

Ok ladies, any of you have trouble potty training little boys? Our 2 year old refuses to sit on the potty most of the time, and when he does he won't go. With our daughter, we could bi\ride her with M&Ms but it won't work with him. Any Ideas?

[Walker]

How old is he exactly? 24 months for a boy is pretty early for potty training, most boys will train later than their girl counterparts. He just may not be ready yet.

My son will be three in less than a month and is almost there. Every now and then he gets so engrossed in something that he waits until the last minute to tell me he has to go and we have a urine accident, but he is fully bowel trained. My son is as regular as a clock, so it made it really easy to train bowels. He was waking up dry, so we basically asked him if he wanted to go in the potty like mommy and daddy. When he said yes, we did it. We did regular, timed potty times for urine and bowels. Never on the potty for more than 4 minutes or so without something happening. We have potty books (search Amazon and you will find hundreds...) specifically about using the potty which helped introduce the concept.

We did it over a long weekend, and were expecting regression when he went back to daycare, but he was fine.

[Wally]

Target practice. Toss a marshmallow in the water. They will breakdown eventually.


Give him something to shoot for. Jumbo, or minis if you want to improve accuracy.

Reward for doing it clean. I suspect he has seen daddy and wants to be big stuff.

[icebear]

my daughter is 3 and has ZERO interest. you are way ahead of us.

[Wally]

Joke time:


Little Billy got a new potty. Every time he was seated he would cry. The parents would try and try but he continued to bawl every time.

Mommy asked, "Billy, why do you cry every time you sit?"

Billy replied, "Its My Potty and I'll Cry if I Want To...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4

For those trying times of parenting.

[Mommytoa3rdgradeboy]

When I was in high school, I babysat two small boys, one was in 2nd grade and his younger brother was 3 years old when I 1st started taking care of them. I remember telling my Mom that their mom was neglecting her child because he wasn't potty trained yet! Little did I know...

Ok, here is my two cents. With regard to potty training BOYS, everybody told me, "Don't rush him. Boys are slower, in general, than girls. He will do it when he is ready." Of course, did I heed that advice? Nope. Guess what, he did it in his own time. He was 3 and a half years old! He went from not being potty trained at all, and showing zero interest, to being potty trained 100%, and never had any accident. It was so bad (& at the time, I thought it was embarrassing) that when he was w/ me at the grocery store, he would pick out his own diapers. He knew exactly which ones to get! One NIGHT, out of the blue, he told me in his words, that he wasnted to wear big boy undies and he was tired of his diaper. It was right after I'd given him a bath and right before bedtime, so I asked him if he was sure and he confirmed that he didn't want to wear that diaper. So, I put big boy undies on him at bedtime, and never had even one accident.

[Robinbobbin]

What worked for my cousin with her 2 boys and what we're going to start doing this summer. Let him run around without a diaper when the weather is warm. Put the potty in the area where he is playing (when inside) and when you see him start to piddle, pop him on the potty. When outside, designate a "pee pee" tree. Every time he starts to piddle, put him by the tree. He'll quickly make the correlation. BUT, if he's not ready physically he's not ready. I know very few people whose little boys were trained (and could control themselves) before 2.5.

And, I agree with Wally - in a few more months when he can control himself better, target practice. My cousin used cheerios and had the boys try to "sink" them. At 24 months, though, he's probably not ready for it yet.

Side note - we sit our 18 month old on the potty on DD's potty seat while I'm getting the bath ready (because he inevitably pees on the floor anyway). He's terrified of it. Screams incessently - but is more scared of climbing off. Then, when he delivers "the goods" he thinks its the funniest thing ever and just cracks up, we lavishly praise him. We're not potty training yet - just trying to keep him contained when out of a diaper while getting the bath ready - would that work for your DS? The potty chair is a non-starter. He won't go near it. But, the seat on top of the big potty is a winner for him.

[my2babysmama]

I just taught my son to pee standing up. With bowel movements it took a little longer because he didn't want to sit on the potty. He would tell me that he had to go and demand that I put a diaper on him. I finally got tired of that and "bribed" him by giving him a sticker every time he went, to build up to a trip to Walmart to buy a Thomas engine. Once he started I didn't have any more problems. Now I am just waiting for my 2 1/2 year old daughter to decide that she wants to be trained.

[Walker]

What worked for my cousin with her 2 boys and what we're going to start doing this summer. Let him run around without a diaper when the weather is warm. Put the potty in the area where he is playing (when inside) and when you see him start to piddle, pop him on the potty. When outside, designate a "pee pee" tree. Every time he starts to piddle, put him by the tree. He'll quickly make the correlation. BUT, if he's not ready physically he's not ready. I know very few people whose little boys were trained (and could control themselves) before 2.5.

And, I agree with Wally - in a few more months when he can control himself better, target practice. My cousin used cheerios and had the boys try to "sink" them. At 24 months, though, he's probably not ready for it yet.

Side note - we sit our 18 month old on the potty on DD's potty seat while I'm getting the bath ready (because he inevitably pees on the floor anyway). He's terrified of it. Screams incessently - but is more scared of climbing off. Then, when he delivers "the goods" he thinks its the funniest thing ever and just cracks up, we lavishly praise him. We're not potty training yet - just trying to keep him contained when out of a diaper while getting the bath ready - would that work for your DS? The potty chair is a non-starter. He won't go near it. But, the seat on top of the big potty is a winner for him.

Years ago a relative of my cousin's taught her 3 yr old son that it was "fun" to pee outside. He then thought he was "allowed" to do so and embarrassed his grandmother by dropping his pants and peeing on the swings at the playground. I, personally, would not teach my son to pee outside, I am too afraid of a repeat of what happened to my aunt.

[BusyMommy]

I know what you are going through! I have three boys---the youngest is just turned 3 and will pee in the potty if he has no diaper on, but forgets and wets his pants if he has big boy underwear on....all my boys were not completely pee pee trained til sometime in the third year and sometimes poo poo trained took while....I have been told with boys it just takes longer! We do gentle encouragement, but I do not force the youngest (or the two oldest) to sit on the potty if they will not do it voluntarily....that just really terrified them! Good luck!

[Reason&Hope]

I agree with all the others that 2 for boys is kind of early.
First son: trained too early, took a long time and was frustrating.
2nd and 3rd child: waited until they were ready. Girl trained in 1 day. Boy took a couple of weeks.

Depending on your son's personality, a chart can work. Every time he pees, he gets a sticker on the chart, maybe 2 for pooping. When he gets enough stickers, he can get a toy. I know other people who have used a jar of treats for immediate rewards. If your son is a perfectionist, don't do the chart.

"Big-boy" underwear are a big incentive. And the cloth training underwear have the advantage over paper in that the kids feels the wetness.

[Eternally]

The book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day really works IF you do what it says and don't deter. My youngest was totally trained before his 2nd birthday, including nighttime. The book tells 3 signs they have to show to be ready to toilet train, and this comes at different times for each person. I highly recommend this book.

My first boy was a disaster because I didn't know all I learned in this book. He still slept in diapers at night at age 4.

[Musician in His house]

Don't worry too much -- it will click with him soon enough. As others have said, boys do train slower than girls, and I can tell you poop training and night training come much later than pee training. One thing that really helped our oldest, especially was to put the pot in his room so he could have easy access to it day and night. If he played in his room and needed to stop (and they won't, until it's almost too late), he had his little pot right there. If he woke up and caught it before he peed, his little pot was right there by his bed, just a step or two away. Every morning I would check it, and many times there was something to empty once he caught on to what to do. Another nice thing about the pot we had was that the seat was removable and foldable so it could go with us when we went to visit my in-laws for a weekend. The seat fit right over a standard toilet seat so he wouldn't be afraid of "falling in." Our oldest was almost in Pre-K before he got well-trained. Our youngest had his older brother to model from (DH was never a big fan of being a potty model ).

Age 2 does seem a bit early to push it too much, but you might start letting him watch Daddy now and then, just to get the idea. Some people take the actual diaper contents (when feasible) and let their child watch them dump them in the toilet (never did that with ours). Young children are very fascinated about the sounds, smells, and substances that come from their own bodies once they become aware of them. I've heard it said that sometimes this is the reason for the delay in poop training especially -- they don't want to "lose" something that comes from them. I don't know that there's any research to fully support that theory, but I guess it could be a factor. Boys generally mature slower than girls through all stages, so that could be one reason why they train at a later age. Whatever you do, don't force him, and don't punish him for accidents. You would be surprised at the Pre-K students I've had that have resisted changing their clothes after an accident because they're afraid Mommy will be upset/punish them. I've never gotten an "abuse" vibe from any of them as such, but sometimes parents push the potty thing a tad far and make their child feel guilty or bad or whatever if he/she has an accident. Accidents happen. As a teacher, though, let me encourage you to teach him to wipe himself without your help as soon as possible before he starts school. That's another thing I've noticed with Pre-K'ers -- some of them have had their mom wipe their little heinies for them all their lives and either don't know or won't do it themselves. Most of them do know how, but I have had one or two that I've had to actually show how to do it. Otherwise, they would just stand there and wait for someone else to wipe for them.

If he refuses to sit on the pot or won't go when he does sit, don't push it too much. He may just not be quite ready yet. If you try to push it, he may resist more and potty training, IMHO, needs to be relaxed. I know that with cat litter training for kittens, you put them in the box right after they eat, and make a scratching motion with their paw to help them get the idea, even if they don't go right then. Some people do something similar with their children -- taking them to the pot right after a meal. If the child goes, he goes. If he doesn't right then, he doesn't, but somehow the idea of "input and output" being connected seems to be a common theme.

[IMSAVED]

I am the mother of three grown children.Believe me they will not walk down the aisle when they graduate from high school or the wedding aisle with diapersI really did think that my daughter who is now 28 was going to show up at her high school graduation with her pacifier.I found that when I backed off and did not seem so pushy about making them sit on the potty that they were better.None of them were 24 months old that is for sure.

[Acts5:41]

I had to laugh at some of this.

My husband has mobility issues. He can walk, but it's very difficult, especially if he's just woken up. He almost fell once trying to get to the bathroom after waking up.

So, we washed out an empty 2 quart juice bottle with a screw on cap. He loves it. It's right there when he needs it. He even empties it and washes it out.

Men, though, are horrified by the concept.

[IMSAVED]

I had to laugh at some of this.

My husband has mobility issues. He can walk, but it's very difficult, especially if he's just woken up. He almost fell once trying to get to the bathroom after waking up.

So, we washed out an empty 2 quart juice bottle with a screw on cap. He loves it. It's right there when he needs it. He even empties it and washes it out.

Men, though, are horrified by the concept.

How about a mans urinal?Like the ones that are used in a hospital?

[EmmieAZ]

Another vote for don't rush it, boys are usually slower, and it will "click" when he is ready. I know that when you are in the throws of stuff with young children it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you/he will get there. My little guy wasn't trained until almost 3.5. But when he was done., he was done. Hang in there.

[Acts5:41]

IMSAVED, those things don't have tight lids. They're designed for hospital use, not home use.

Have you ever had to clean half a quart of male urine off the carpet because the thing fell over?

NEVER happens with the juice bottle. I could play catch with it and it would be fine.

[Musician in His house]

IMSAVED, those things don't have tight lids. They're designed for hospital use, not home use.

Have you ever had to clean half a quart of male urine off the carpet because the thing fell over?

NEVER happens with the juice bottle. I could play catch with it and it would be fine.

Thank you so much for the mental picture!!

[Acts5:41]

You thought YOUR life was tough!



Yeah, after that all the "urinals" went in the trash and the bottle made it's debut. Guys tend to get really bothered by the concept, which I don't get.