Rules of The South

[Trance]

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like
money to us. Get over it.. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west,
I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton
strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try
to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand.
You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless
of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &
turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff
you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know
how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they
come home for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So
don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. The south is the greatest!! If you are from the south you are part
of some the best people in the USA!!

[Zazzy]

Yeeeeeehhhawwww!!!!!

[tbrian40]

I was born in Virginia and have lived in northern Alabama most of my life---1-18 very funny and I understand

[Scotty066]

Ya'all need to know the best food in the south is boiled peanuts!!!!

[araj54]

Funny list. The majority of it can apply to most any rural area in the USA with a few tweaks.

[Wally]

Ya .. Dutch Kontrie is chust south'ners mit a vunny akcent.

[Musician in His house]

Amen, Trance!!! Don't forget that all soft drinks in the South are called "co-colas" or "Cokes." If you ask for a Coke, you'll be asked "which kind?" Soda is for crackers or for baking, and pop is either your daddy, your granddaddy, or what you'll get if you insist on calling a Co-cola "soda" or "pop." Being from Georgia, my favorite of course is Coca-Cola. The only thing I like about Pepsi is Mountain Dew.

[Alex]

Amen, Trance!!! Don't forget that all soft drinks in the South are called "co-colas" or "Cokes." If you ask for a Coke, you'll be asked "which kind?" Soda is for crackers or for baking, and pop is either your daddy, your granddaddy, or what you'll get if you insist on calling a Co-cola "soda" or "pop." Being from Georgia, my favorite of course is Coca-Cola. The only thing I like about Pepsi is Mountain Dew.

If I recall, Buck Owens and crew (Hee Haw) did a song on good ol' Mountain Dew.

[kristine]

Hey, my great grandma was from the south (Tennessee). Do I count as a southerner? I can totally relate to this thread.

[Alex]

Southern number one rule. We don't follow rules.

[Musician in His house]

Southern number one rule. We don't follow rules.

And any rules we DO have are unwritten and just understood. We're not taught them, it's just the way it is.

[Wally]

And any rules we DO have are unwritten and just understood. We're not taught them, it's just the way it is.

Kinda like Calvinball.......

[HeIsEnough]

20. Don't call in the afternoon, we take naps with sombreros on around that time.


Am I too far south?

[iSong6:3]

Amen, Trance!!! Don't forget that all soft drinks in the South are called "co-colas" or "Cokes." If you ask for a Coke, you'll be asked "which kind?" Soda is for crackers or for baking, and pop is either your daddy, your granddaddy, or what you'll get if you insist on calling a Co-cola "soda" or "pop." Being from Georgia, my favorite of course is Coca-Cola. The only thing I like about Pepsi is Mountain Dew.

Isn't Dr Pepper big in the South? (Maybe that's the Ozarks?)

Fun thread, and I reckon I should be living in Texas.

[Musician in His house]

Kinda like Calvinball.......

Exactly like Calvinball. In fact, when I was a teenager we youth used to gather at a big, circular expanse of grass in front of the church called "the lake" (it used to be a small pond/lake where people brought their cows for water), and we would play baseball by our own rules. The road circled around the lake in front of the church, and there were 4 big trees on the lake, one on each "corner." If the ball went across the road it was an automatic home run. If it was hit into the tree with the poison ivy, it was an automatic out. Otherwise, no other real rules except the standard 3-and-you're-out.

Dr. Pepper is still "Coke" or "co-cola." So is Fanta, Mr. Pibb, all other kinds except R.C. Cola. That (pronounced "ar-oh-see cola") is reserved for consumption with Moon Pies. Cokes are for puttin' salted peanuts in.

[iSong6:3]

Exactly like Calvinball. In fact, when I was a teenager we youth used to gather at a big, circular expanse of grass in front of the church called "the lake" (it used to be a small pond/lake where people brought their cows for water), and we would play baseball by our own rules. The road circled around the lake in front of the church, and there were 4 big trees on the lake, one on each "corner." If the ball went across the road it was an automatic home run. If it was hit into the tree with the poison ivy, it was an automatic out. Otherwise, no other real rules except the standard 3-and-you're-out.

Dr. Pepper is still "Coke" or "co-cola." So is Fanta, Mr. Pibb, all other kinds except R.C. Cola. That (pronounced "ar-oh-see cola") is reserved for consumption with Moon Pies. Cokes are for puttin' salted peanuts in.

Y'all should compile these in a guidebook for travel in the South.

[Trance]

Isn't Dr Pepper big in the South? (Maybe that's the Ozarks?)

Fun thread, and I reckon I should be living in Texas.

Dr Pepper is big with me, that's for sure.

[Scotty066]

We ain't in no hurry, and we love our sweet tea!! biscuits and gravey for breakfast!!

[iSong6:3]

Dr Pepper is big with me, that's for sure.

Just popped open a diet Dr Pepper myself!

[Sandra17012]

Isn't Dr Pepper big in the South? (Maybe that's the Ozarks?)

Fun thread, and I reckon I should be living in Texas.

Yes, Dr. Pepper is big in the south.
I wish you lived in Texas, maybe then I could visit you