50 Shades of Grey (50 Shades of Perversion)

[WaitingonHisreturn]

Has anyone read this book??? It is a top selling book out there. All of my friends are reading it but to me i is just like a book of porn from what i have heard about it??

[Carol]

I heard a guy talk about that book on the radio...Kinda scary it's so popular, but also very sad because it shows where we are as a society. (very very sad!) As in the days of Noah i guess...

[icebear]

sounded nasty to me

[KissyLoves]

I've heard it's soft porn. Lots of people reading them...

[Acts5:41]

I got as far as the word "erotic" = porn.

It is the height of hypocrisy to read porn, about perverts to boot (per my husband "Sounds like a pervert" when I read him a book jacket), and then moan and cry about how hubby is addicted to that nasty porn. The couple is also, clearly, having sex OUT of marriage.

I wouldn't read it if someone gave it to me.

If I want entertainment, I have a husband.

[Lynn]

I've heard it's soft porn. Lots of people reading them...

Yep, that's what others said when they were writing reviews for the book on Amazon.com There is no good reason for any professing Christian to be reading such junk, no matter 'how many' people are reading it.

[Acts5:41]

That's one bad thing about the Kindle. A lot of free books that are very hardcore porn. I have to look at the category before downloading.

I have decided to be very careful about what I put in my mind.

If someone was having problems, and needed some advice on certain issues, I think it's fine to read a manual on the subject.

[IMSAVED]

That's one bad thing about the Kindle. A lot of free books that are very hardcore porn. I have to look at the category before downloading.

I have decided to be very careful about what I put in my mind.

If someone was having problems, and needed some advice on certain issues, I think it's fine to read a manual on the subject.

I am extremely careful what I put in my mind.

[momoffaith]

I received this email from Family Life Today yesterday:


Fifty Shades of Caution

by Dave Boehi

Recently my wife, Merry, asked, “I’ve been hearing about this new book, Fifty Shades of Grey. I wonder if that would be good to read?”

To answer her question, I began by looking up the book on Amazon and reading the description:

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

“Actually, this description doesn’t reveal much about what the book is really about.” I said to Merry. “From what I’ve read, this is a book about sexual bondage and sadism. So … does that sound like something you want to read?”

“I don’t think so.”

It was an easy decision for Merry, but apparently there are many Christian women today who are hearing about this book and are wondering, "Should I read Fifty Shades of Grey?" Many women love stories about romance, and here’s a book that has become a national sensation—the book and its two sequels rank 1-3 at the top of the New York Times paperback bestseller list. So many women are talking about the book that others want to become part of the conversation.

For some women, the decision of whether to read it is simple once they learn what the book is about. Others are curious and want to try it out, so to speak. And others can’t understand what the fuss is about. “Isn’t this just a book?” they ask. “It isn’t real, after all, it’s just fiction. It might even spice up your sex life with your husband!”

Falling into the same trap

Words like these sound awfully familiar to me because they’re the same justifications that men use for consuming pornography. And that’s why I’m writing, as a man, about a book written primarily for women. I hate to see women falling into the same trap that has claimed so many men.

I’m writing these words a few hours after watching a preview session from FamilyLife's upcoming Stepping Up video series for men. In this session, men were challenged to “stand firm”—to step up and do the right thing no matter what temptations you face or what circumstances you find yourself in. As 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 tells us, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

One of the ongoing battles for any man is with lust, and each day he is tempted to look at images that feed this lust. At one point the video session focused on one man’s struggle with pornography and how it nearly destroyed his marriage. And it struck me that there’s little difference between the effects of a man choosing to view pornography and the effects of a woman reading books like Fifty Shades of Grey.

The right place for sexual desire

Some people will say it’s unfair to criticize a book I haven’t read. Often I agree with that sentiment, but not when it comes to erotica or pornography. Here are a few points to consider:

1. Erotic photos, videos, and books are all designed with one thing in mind—to stimulate sexual desire. From a biblical standpoint, sexual desire is good as long as it’s in the right context. But I think it’s safe to say that the creators of erotica and pornography are not very concerned about whether they help couples build stronger marriages. Instead, using these media invites men and women to fantasize about sexual relationships outside of marriage. That’s a dangerous path to walk. It leads to unhealthy comparisons with your spouse and a host of other problems. If the sexual relationship in a marriage is weak, reading erotica or viewing porn is not a good way to add some sparks.

2. Erotica and pornography promote a corrupted view of something God designed as beautiful. Dr. Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, says it well:

Rightly understood and rightly ordered, marriage is a picture of God’s own covenantal faithfulness. Marriage is to display God’s glory, reveal God’s good gifts to His creatures, and protect human beings from the inevitable disaster that follows when sexual passions are divorced from their rightful place.

The physicality of the male and female bodies cries out for fulfillment in the other. The sex drive calls both men and women out of themselves and toward a covenantal relationship that is consummated in a one-flesh union. By definition, sex within marriage is not merely the accomplishment of sexual fulfillment on the part of two individuals who happen to share the same bed. Rather, it is mutual self-giving that reaches pleasures both physical and spiritual.

A man who directs his sexual drive toward the one-flesh relationship in marriage, Mohler writes, “is the perfect paradigm of God’s intention in creation.” By contrast, a man involved with pornography subverts his sex drive toward lust and self-gratification. “Rather than taking satisfaction in a wife, he looks at dirty pictures in order to be rewarded with sexual arousal that comes without responsibility, expectation, or demand.”

3. The particular genre highlighted in Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM, is even worse. BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. These practices are the opposite of the “mutual self-giving” that should characterize a holy, biblical sexual relationship in marriage.

4. The fact that a book is fiction doesn’t negate the damaging consequences of reading it. Words can penetrate your mind in negative ways just as images can. In Philippians 4:8 the Bible tells us, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Can you truly do that while simultaneously reading this book?

5. You don’t need to join every conversation. We like to think that teenagers are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure, but sometimes I wonder if it’s just as bad for adults. Think of what a mother tells her kids: “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do the same thing?” The same goes for friends urging you to read erotica or look at pornography.

Is it good for your marriage?

“I’ve been studying what God says about sexuality for 15 years,” writes Dannah Gresh in a blog post titled, “Why I’m Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey.”

According to Him, there is only one who should stimulate sexual desire in me: my husband. Since that’s God’s plan for my sexual desire, anything other than my husband creating arousal in me would be missing the mark of God’s intention. (Translation: it is sin.) Jesus said it this way: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The same is true of a woman looking at or reading about a man.

Erotica, especially the genre involving bondage and sadism, easily leads to a corrupted view of something God created as good within the context of marriage. It sparks physiological reactions that require greater and greater levels for fulfillment; it causes unhealthy comparison to a real-life spouse; and it leads men and women to be preoccupied with sexual fulfillment at the expense of other relationships, including their relationship with God.

So you’ve got to ask yourself: Is any of that good for your marriage?

My hope and prayer is that Christian women, when faced with the temptation of a book like Fifty Shades of Grey, will “be watchful” and “stand firm in the faith.” Don’t fall into the same trap as men do with pornography.

[HighlandAngel]

Okay, I tried to read this book. I did not know at the time it was essentially porn (yes I know I'm apparently a little too naive sometimes). I didn't even get to any of "those" bits though, thankfully. It was awful, just awful writing. I mean so poorly written it offends me. I agree that it's not appropriate reading given the content. I just also can't believe such poor writing got published and is so popular. I guess it just illustrates the attractiveness of smut.

[IMSAVED]

I would not waste my time or money on that garbage.

[ericaweb07]

momoffaith: Thanks for posting that article, I went to the site and shared it with my facebook friends. i know several women who are reading it (supposedly Christian women).

[IMSAVED]

momoffaith: Thanks for posting that article, I went to the site and shared it with my facebook friends. i know several women who are reading it (supposedly Christian women).

That does not surprise me in the least.

[ericaweb07]

I feel like beating my head against a brick wall... A friend of mine read the article I shared on fb and said "Guilty... if I ever find the time."

Really?? To which I replied:I have several reasons I CAN'T read it. #1) "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Phil 4:8 NKJV). If it doesn't pass this test, then I shouldn't read it or watch it. #2 "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" (1 Corinthians 6:19) Would I be embarrassed/ashamed if Jesus walked in the room and caught me reading/watching this? Since Jesus lives in my heart, He knows what I'm doing, feeling, and thinking all the time. These are my personal feelings and convictions. I'm not trying to push them off on anybody else. Just giving people something to think about. Am I tempted to read it?? Of course... everyone else is saying it's the "New Twilight" and all 3 books are on the bestseller list. But I just can't.

her answer: It's actually written by a twilight fan, but I could understand why one couldn't, not everyone is a fan of sdm, but I just want to see what all the hype is, and I had them emailed to me, so I didn't buy the books lol

again... really?! so it's okay to read because you didn't pay for them?? I'll just pray for her. I planted the seed, gonna let God do the rest.

[Carrie Grace]

Some of the one-star reviews of the book on Amazon are hilarious. Apparently it is so poorly written, it is laughable. A friend of mine, supposedly a believer, is reading the series, so I decided to see what all the hype was about. I went to Amazon to read the one-star reviews (where often you can get the skinny very quickly), of which there are hundreds. I relayed what I read to my friend, who got a little defensive, but did admit that the writing was really juvenile. She did finish them, though.

These sound as if they are essentially "Twilight" on Viagra. With handcuffs

[Florian9]

My apologies for jumping into "women's discussions", but lucky me that my saved wife read all 3 books
Wondering what I can do for damage control?

[ericaweb07]

My apologies for jumping into "women's discussions", but lucky me that my saved wife read all 3 books
Wondering what I can do for damage control?

Pray for her. Ask for the Holy Spirit's guiding on speaking to her about it. Maybe having her read the article that was mentioned above. I've heard there's a 4th book coming out AND movies so yeah pray that the Holy Spirit will convict her of reading stuff like that.

[Robinbobbin]

These sound as if they are essentially "Twilight" on Viagra. With handcuffs

Haven't read twilight. Have no intention of reading it or Shades of Gray. But your comment cracks me up.

[Robinbobbin]

I've heard there's a 4th book coming out AND movies so yeah pray that the Holy Spirit will convict her of reading stuff like that.

How can they make a movie about it? Wouldn't that just be straight porn? I read those Amazon reviews after the previous comment. I can't imagine the movie would have any substance what-so-ever.

[icebear]

How can they make a movie about it? Wouldn't that just be straight porn? I read those Amazon reviews after the previous comment. I can't imagine the movie would have any substance what-so-ever.

just the thought makes me feel very sick