Friend was kicked out of his house.
This might be a long one. I have a friend; we'll call him J. He's always been content with not doing much or taking responsibilities. He was pretty much kicked out of high school my sophomore or junior year and made to go to a local charter school, where he mostly didn't do his work and had to do an extra year just to graduate. He also has a bit of a spending problem. We're pretty sure he's used his parents' credit/debit card to buy World of Warcraft time, even though they didn't want him playing because he would play it all day instead of do homework or even go to the charter school (the kids there can pretty much just leave whenever they want).
Recently he was given $40 for the week by his parents, presumably for food for himself. He wanted to go to Best Buy really badly one day so we did because we like walking around (it's the nerd version of window shopping 
). We noticed, however, that he only ever wants to go into town when he can buy stuff. Sure enough, he bought two months of World of Warcraft time. He recently told his parents that he stopped playing and that there was no way to access his account. He also spent all of his graduation money on the best computer at Best Buy; he told his parents it was for college but you don't need a gaming laptop for college. It was just for World of Warcraft. What really shocked my friends and me, though, was that J said that he was buying WoW time "in case he didn't find a job".
He'll also do this thing where he buys and sells all of his stuff at Gamestop to get money. He's gone through four Nintendo 3DSes in the past year or so. He'll buy a system and use it for a few months or so and then sell it and all of the games he's accumulated for it to buy another system. Everyone at our local Gamestop knows him and that he does this. He recently bought a PlayStation Vita, which is Sony's newest handheld console. We knew he was going to sell it but he was sure that he wouldn't. I feel kind of bad for this but we picked dates to guess when he would sell it. Sure enough, about a month later, he sold it and whatever else he had at an extreme loss to himself (Gamestop pays you so much less than what you pay them). He's even sold his sister's games and systems to other people without her permission. 
He seems to have an addiction to gaining money, even if it comes at a 50% or higher loss.
Fast-forward to now. He was kicked out of his house yesterday. His dad dropped him off at a friend's house before he went to work at about 7:00 AM. His parents have done this before but they've taken him back in within a day or so. I've been told that this time, however, they're changing the locks. What complicates matters more is that he doesn't have a car. He's been through at least two cars (possibly three), all of which were in accidents and at least one of which was his own fault. The latest one occurred when he was either backing out or pulling into his driveway and he swiped his sister's van. It tore up and dented the side of his car and dented the left side of her front bumper. What I found shocking is that he was complaining that his parents weren't paying for his repairs (he first told us he was fired from his bar job, although now he claims that he quit; he would always call in and not go). Of course they're not going to pay for your repairs because you're the one who did it! 
It's even more complicated because he's had lupus for years. I'm not sure if his parents are going to continue paying for his pharmaceuticals.
So that's where we are now. He wanted to stay with my one friend but he flat-out refused (his mom did too). My question is: how hard is too hard on someone? I mean, his parents gave him $100 after kicking him out. Instead of buying Ramen and trying to find a job he buys a $14 pizza from Subway (instead of Ramen or something) and plays video games at a friend's house. His parents might even take him back in if he got a job but he isn't even looking. Tomorrow his friend is going to his dad's and he has to be out of his house. He's texted my two friends about "hanging out" at 1 PM; we're pretty sure he just wants a ride somewhere, probably back to one of their houses. The one friend whose mom doesn't want J there doesn't want to hang out because he knows it's probably just a ploy. My other friend would be more sympathetic but his mom wouldn't be able to afford to have another person living with them, especially a jobless, carless person.
I flat-out refuse to let him stay here and so does my mom. Not only do I not want to enable him but my mom's trying hard to make ends meet. I have a nice job now but we still can't afford to have him stay here. It's not just the money but it's the principle too. His parents warned him for years about getting a job and getting his life together. I know that he would continue living at his parents' house forever unless they did something like this (my father was the same way, dependent on everyone except himself; it eventually ended in hitting rock-bottom from alcoholism and a divorce from my mother). He can't even budget $100 responsibly. He's proven time and time again that he doesn't want to take care of himself so why should I take on the burden?
I think I would drive him to a homeless shelter but that's it. I don't believe that I'm being too harsh. Am I, though? I'm not sure what he's going to do about medication but, again I hope I'm not being harsh but that's not my problem. I have medication too. I don't have lupus but we just had an insurance policy change it costs a lot more to go to the doctor now. I too have to pay bills. My friend never had to buy insurance or pay for a cell phone or buy one of his many cars that he wrecked. He won't owe tens of thousands in student loans because he wants to receive an education. I don't have nearly enough time, money, or energy to be responsible for him. I just want to wash my hands of him.
Thoughts?
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
In the event of darkness, depression, sadness, or loneliness, your Bible can be used as a flotation device.
Reply With Quote
Wash your hands!
Originally Posted by mooseamerica
