Friend Doesn't Believe in Loving the Lord

[ginseng]

Hi ~ I've been in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful Christian man for a year. We
talk about Scripture and pray together (over the phone). He calls every night.

Last night we were talking about what we wanted engraved on our tombstones. I said I
wanted "She Loved the Lord".

My friend took issue with that, saying that if I loved the Lord I'd be in Africa feeding starving
children.

What?

Where is he coming from? Loving the Lord is the WHOLE THING!

I just thought about that verse... we love because He loved us first... got to go find it.

As anyone else dealt with something like this? What kind of Christian doesn't love the Lord?

[Acts5:41]

I don't think I see it the way you do.

I think your friend is saying: if you love God, you shine that love in tangible ways, on everyone around you. You constantly seek to do His will, no matter where you are. If you REALLY love God, you won't need to tell anyone because they already know.

My husband comes to mind. He is stricken if he forgets to give a tract to someone new, and is constantly sharing his testimony with everyone he meets. He doesn't have to tell me he loves God; I see it.

I would hope people say the same about me. Although these days I'm in more of a support role for my husband, with the occasional Bible Handout.

I think you need to send him an email and ask him to clarify. I believe he is just saying "If you love God, you won't need to tell people. If you love God, you will seek His will first in all things (like feeding the starving kids) and everyone will see Him, in you."

BTW, I'm getting cremated and thrown in the Gulf.

[HeIsEnough]

My friend took issue with that, saying that if I loved the Lord I'd be in Africa feeding starving
children.

Hmm. Well, if all believers were in Africa feeding starving children, it would become quite crowded I would think.

Many do 'good deeds' and don't love the Lord.

Those who love the Lord, do the good deeds He prepared for them to do (Eph 2:10), whatever they may be. His view is kinda strange, I agree with Acts regarding asking him to clarify, it sounds works oriented.

[Verisimilitude]

Hi ~ I've been in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful Christian man for a year. We
talk about Scripture and pray together (over the phone). He calls every night.

Last night we were talking about what we wanted engraved on our tombstones. I said I
wanted "She Loved the Lord".

My friend took issue with that, saying that if I loved the Lord I'd be in Africa feeding starving
children.

What?

Where is he coming from? Loving the Lord is the WHOLE THING!

I just thought about that verse... we love because He loved us first... got to go find it.

As anyone else dealt with something like this? What kind of Christian doesn't love the Lord?

Wow, there are so many things that can be said here. First, there are people who feed starving children in Africa who do not love the Lord, so that proves nothing. We are saved to do good works, not do good works to get saved. You can show your love for Him by allowing someone to cut in front of you during rush hour. It's not how big the work is that you do, it's that you do what you can where He has put you. We're not all called to go to Africa. I do not feel it is right for fellow Christians to judge each other in such a manner. Anything you do if you do it for His glory, you are doing well.

Romans 14:4-13 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.
For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.
For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.
But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

I personally couldn't put "she loved the Lord" on my tombstone. I keep thinking of the Gospel of John where he mentioned "the apostle whom Jesus loved". I believe John was talking about himself. I also believe he loved Jesus dearly. Even so, he just couldn't bring himself to call himself "the apostle who loved Jesus". I know my love for Him can never measure up to the love He has for me and I think John felt the same. I'm not saying you're wrong in wanting to do this, just that I myself could not. Jesus had to ask Peter three times if he loved Him before Peter would say yes, Peter had gone through a humbling experience and could not boast about his love for Jesus. He had failed Jesus, Jesus never failed Him. I have failed Jesus, He has never failed me, hence the reason I could not use those words. If you are comfortable with that, then that is between you and the Lord and no one should tell you that you are wrong in this or that you haven't done enough good works to prove your love.

The last thing on my mind is this...hopefully, what you put on your gravestone is a moot point. We are so close to His return, that there is very little chance you would ever have to worry about your tombstone.

[Acts5:41]

To clarify, just in case I wasn't clear: works do not get us into Heaven.

If we love God, we are obedient to Him. I think a very good example is "my" evangelism. It used to be, I'd be handing out up to a dozen items a day to our drivers and everyone we encountered.

I was happy to do it. It was a lot of work, and I had to carry an additional bag, one that was heavy. I was working for Jesus! Yay!

Now, God has my husband doing the daily handouts; getting the credit for the evangelism. I'm just there to support him. It chafes my pride a little, I want to be the one doing important stuff for God.

It's not about what I want, it's about obedience to God

From our perspective, it's easy to see, an evangelism item coming from a very physically damaged man can have a lot more impact than an item coming from an apparently [ ] normal me.

In my case, doing God's will has meant resting from a lot of my works (except for prayer, Big Bible Handouts, and a support role - i.e. - I need more copies, Heather), in order to please God and allow my husband to fulfill his role in evangelism.

The honest truth, both my husband and I are doing important things for God, by being obedient. His work is more apparent, mine is less apparent. Maybe my whole role with the daily handouts was to get Ron used to the idea. "See, you can hand out things to everyone and they just say thank you."

I still have a Big Bible Handout planned for Tuesday, happily that is God's will.

[gma dolittle]

How about "she was loved by the Lord"? I personally think saying that you love the Lord is an honest way of witnessing for him. He said if you were ashamed of him, he would be ashamed of you before the Father. I am not ashamed to say, I love the Lord!

[Genesis22]

Like others have said, I think you should ask him to clarify what he meant. From the little dating experience that I have, I know that guys (even Christian guys) sometimes say things without thinking about how it's going to sound or making sure that it comes out properly. I can't tell you how many bible related disagreements I've been in that could have been resolved if one or both of us had just asked the other to explain better. With that being said, if he did truly mean that you can't love the LORD without going and living in a far away land witnessing to people, that's basically telling you that he also doesn't love the LORD, right? He's not in Africa feeding starving children (I assume, since he has access to talk on the phone every night ). You definitely need a man who loves the LORD. I understand he's saying that you must be a doer of the word and not just a hearer in order to love God, like it says in James...but you don't have to be in Africa to do that. I love the LORD by serving people right in my own town, because that's where He has me right now.

[Acts5:41]

Exactly.

[mbrown1219]

Hi ~ I've been in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful Christian man for a year. We
talk about Scripture and pray together (over the phone). He calls every night.

Last night we were talking about what we wanted engraved on our tombstones. I said I
wanted "She Loved the Lord".

My friend took issue with that, saying that if I loved the Lord I'd be in Africa feeding starving
children.

What?

Where is he coming from? Loving the Lord is the WHOLE THING!

I just thought about that verse... we love because He loved us first... got to go find it.

As anyone else dealt with something like this? What kind of Christian doesn't love the Lord?

See Luke 10:27-37

Good for all of us to remember!

And I pray the wonderful Christian man is all you say, and more. But if not, run girl run!

[ginseng]

Thank you guys so much! I appreciate your wisdom & advice.

So last night when he was praying, he said, "We love you, Lord".

I am confused. I've been praying so hard about this. I know God doesn't want us
confused.

So I'm going to focus on the wonderful verses & advice posted above.

I'll keep you posted.

gin

[Genesis22]

Sounds like it could be an misunderstanding then if he says you both do love the LORD. Either that or he's very double minded and just says whatever seems right at the moment, which is a REALLY hard thing to deal with. If you've known him for that long though and this is the first problem you've had, it's probably not that. I'd just ask him to explain. Say it in a way where you sound seriously interested in learning what he has to say, not where you're automatically making him feel like he's doing something wrong...because I've done that before too and it's only caused more disagreeing. Just be like "Hey you said these two things, and I wasn't quite sure how you meant them, could you please explain more?".

[IMSAVED]

Hmm. Well, if all believers were in Africa feeding starving children, it would become quite crowded I would think.

Many do 'good deeds' and don't love the Lord.

Those who love the Lord, do the good deeds He prepared for them to do (Eph 2:10), whatever they may be. His view is kinda strange, I agree with Acts regarding asking him to clarify, it sounds works oriented.

I agree.Have you ever met this man or just talked with him on the phone?

[HeIsEnough]

I agree.Have you ever met this man or just talked with him on the phone?

No ma'am, but I have dealt with the attitude before regarding being 'not good enough' because of ones lack of works, or better stated, lack of works they think you should have. Its good to prove to them, in their own words and thoughts, why they will never be good enough either. Maybe then they'll start to understand that He is enough. The OP can perhaps see if he will clarify what he means, maybe it will lead to this type of concept, or maybe he was being a little facetious, just don't know.

[EarsToHear]

Reminds me of the conversation of Jesus with Martha when Mary was sitting at his feet, listening to Him speak while Martha prepared food for the people who had come to hear Him. Luke 10:38-42

[ginseng]

Hi ~ I am printing out all of these posts and looking up the Scripture. I really need to focus on what the Lord wants me to do.

I have met this man in person. It's amazing how much we have in common. We are older (both over 50)!
Both of us have never married... partly due to disabilities we both deal with. We even became
disabled the same month & year 27 years ago.

Acts, he's in a wheelchair and I have a hidden chronic health condition .

There have been several other times that he has said something that caused me to be
hurt and confused. I shared my feelings and he apologized.

Yes, I have thought about the "works-oriented" problem, also. I want to encourage him
to focus on his relationship with the Lord. A love relationship.

It helps so much to share all this. I would like to take a "break" from the phone calls and step back for several weeks.

Maybe that's what the Lord would have me do... to give Him room to work. I'm not really where I want
to be in my walk. We know when our walk is kind of wobbly.

Please pray that I will obey the Lord!

YSIC, gin