It's so hot, corn's a-poppin' in the field and the farmer's crop-spraying with melted butter and salt.
It's so hot, even the cats are taking to the swimming pool.
It's so hot, my back porch just spontaneously combusted.
It's so hot, even the dirt is on fire.
It's so hot, hens are hatching McNuggets.
It's so hot, apple and peach trees smell like pie.
"Oir is leatsa an rioghachd, agus an cumhachd, agus a gloir, gu siorraidh, Amen." ("For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen" -- Scots Gaelic)