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Thread: Allowing Boys to be "Girly"

  1. #21
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    Being gay is trendy now! I am sick of it. God made marriage on earth to be between a man and a woman.

    I feel so sorry for kids today.

  2. #22
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    Its another way kids can be disobedient to parents - especially if teachers and classmates are encouraging it.

    Other parents fail due to complacency,

    Or very soon, any Godly correction will get parents jailed.


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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wally View Post
    . . . This young boy will suffer greatly. The damage will accumulate. And the end result is most likely one of destruction. . . .
    I learned at least a little about homosexuality during one of my psychology courses in college. I learned that a common background for homosexual men is having a harsh, rejecting or--like the little boy you are speaking of--absent father. I recently read that it is also not uncommon for a homosexual to have been molested when he was younger.

    This little boy needs the influence of straight men in his life, men who will show him good/fun/valuable things about being male. And it sounds very dangerous for the woman to let her little boy stay overnight at the house of these homosexuals, not to mention the whole idea of an opposite-sex sleepover. Is she not worried that he might be molested?

    As far as, in effect, encouraging homosexuality, the average age of death for homosexuals is, I understand, around 40, so she could be encouraging him to cut his earthly life in half. Spiritually, she is condoning a path that leads to hell.

    1 Cor 6:9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

    Chick publications has a few tracts addressing homosexuality (links below). I think only one or two of them are in print right now, but you can view Chick's tracts online even if they are out of print. You will want to read them first, before you decide if you want to send any of the links and, if so, which one(s) to send as the ones on this subject are not pleasant to read.


    The Gay Blade
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0084/0084_01.asp

    Uninvited
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1070/1070_01.asp

    Sin City
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5003/5003_01.asp

    Doom Town
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0273/0273_01.asp

    Birds and the Bees
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp

    You might also consider sending her the link to one of these for her to read for herself. They address a woman's life/eternal destination in review, first as unsaved, second if she were saved.
    You Have a Date!
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1072/1072_01.asp

    Your Big Moment
    Similar to You Have a Date!, but illustrated for black women.
    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1110/1110_01.asp

    "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
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  4. #24
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    As a believer, I would not allow my children to associate with homosexuals. The child is clearly starving for male role models, and the only ones Mom has provided are gay. The only 2-parent relationship he witnesses, the only "stable" relationship - all gay.

    She is making him gay even before the dress-up. Children bond and imprint, especially at that age, on adults who give them care, consideration, and attention.

    Acts 15:20, Acts 21:25 - abstain from sexual immorality.
    1 Corinthians 5:9, 1 Corinthians 5:11 - don't associate with sexually immoral (like gay men)
    1 Thessalonians 4:3 - abstain from sexual immorality

    The Bible is really clear on this: avoid immorality, and avoid those who are immoral (by that I mean those defiantly living a sinful lifestyle). I never ask if a driver is living a sinful life before I get in the vehicle, or when I give someone a Bible. However, I wouldn't let my kid stay over with someone living in sin, gay or straight.

    " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

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    I have a lot of thoughts going through my head about this post. I feel this boy is being abused by his mother, not just bad parenting, but i guess that's a way to put it. It's jut wrong.

    But Tiger Lily and Acts pretty much said what i was thinking. Exodus international is a ministry for homosexuals wanting to come out of that lifestyle and who have come out of it. I have read books and reports by some members and they do make the point that most little boys have had an early sexual encounter with another boy and they become confused and then Satan sows the lie that this is " how they are". Then sadly we have people like this boys mother that confirms this instead of telling them it is a lie.

    I, like Acts, would never let my son go over to their home. That boy is learning stuff from them and getting ideas about what it means to be a " man" from them. It's gross and bothers me to read this stuff. Poor child.

    If she is a christian, which from her fruit it appears she is not, that she should abhor what God says is evil and i think it is pretty clear what God thinks about homosexuality and even being effeminate. She is helping her son to sin against the Lord and therefore it would be better if she had a milestone hung around her neck and she be drowned in the depths of the sea...can't remember the passage.

    Anyway, if i were her friend i would tell her these things and then i would tell her to read the book of 1 John very carefully. The whole book is a test for people professing to be christians to see whether they are actually in the faith. There are 10 characteristics a person should see in themselves and frankly others, if they are saved. There's not much time left for her to figure it out. Thankfully that boy will be with the Lord soon as well before his mother has further time to confuse him.

    Cansma

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cansma View Post
    . . . If she is a christian, which from her fruit it appears she is not, that she should abhor what God says is evil and i think it is pretty clear what God thinks about homosexuality and even being effeminate. She is helping her son to sin against the Lord and therefore it would be better if she had a milestone hung around her neck and she be drowned in the depths of the sea...can't remember the passage. . . .
    Good point about that passage:

    Luke 17:1-2 Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin."

    "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
    ______

  7. #27

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    Thank you Acts, Tiger Lily, and Casma. I appreciate your reponses and the scriptures you shared. I knew I was right to feel such a conviction on this subject. I hope that I will get the opportunity to talk to her about this and share those truths. Thanks again for your input.

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    "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
    ______

  9. #29

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    In response to your post, I feel like I should give you some insight into my situation. I was also a divorced mom with a son who had these tendencies. Although I didn't encourage it, I did nothing to discourage it. The behavior escalated, and I continued to make excuses for his behavior such as 'he's just sensitive and has a big heart' or 'he's just a mama's boy'. Ultimately, he is 20 now and has announced his homosexuality. I wish I could go back and give more direction and set more limits. That was my duty, and I failed. I'm not sure there's much you can do in your situation if your friend is set on encouraging it, but I wanted to let you know that I don't think it will end favorably. My prayers are with that little boy. If boundaries aren't set, confusion sets in.



    Quote Originally Posted by I'm His View Post
    I wanted to get a Christian perspective on this topic.

    I have a friend whom I've known since college. She has a 4 year old son who was conceived out of wedlock and she raises him on her own--the father is in no way involved.
    My friend's son enjoys wearing tutus and other girly clothing, having his nails painted pink or purple, wearing girl's jewelry, and other such things that are girly. To be fair, he also enjoys boy clothing and interests at times, too.

    My friend sees absolutely no problem with letting him "experiment" and "find himself," and she is happy to buy him girly clothing, etc. She even let him wear one of her hot pink tank tops as a dress in his recent school pictures, because he wanted to.

    In my gut, I feel like allowing him to do these things and not setting boundaries for him is wrong, but is it biblically wrong? It bothers me greatly, though I haven't expressed that to her. She says that she doesn't care what he wears or plays with, as long as he's "true to himself." My friend also blames it on the fact that he's always around girls (mother, cousins,) and doesn't have a father or many male role models. Oh, and another thing. The boy's best friend is a girl with homesexual fathers. The little boy often spends the night at their house and spends a great deal of time with them. I don't suspect any abuse or anything like that, but I do wonder if he is being influenced by the lifestyle he sees often.

    What do you all think? Am I wrong to feel an aversion to this behavior? Are their scriptures dealing with this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Lily View Post
    Good point about that passage:

    Luke 17:1-2 Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin."
    Yes, that's the scripture- thanks for finding

    I just wanted to add something else. When i was 3.5 years old my mom went back to work and put me with a babysitter; a neighbor. My mom would drop me off and as soon as my mom left the sitter would put back on my coat and boots and put me back outside for the day. She told me to go play and i'd be outdoors until right before my mother came to pick me up. This even occurred all winter and one time she left me out in a blizzard ( i mean blizzard and not a snowfall). I went around to all kinds of doors asking to come in or if their children wanted to come out to play. No one let me in and of course normal moms didn't let their kids play in blizzards. That night my mom got a phone call from the lady down the road who when my mom answered bluntly said " what kind of mother leaves their child out in a blizzard" and went on to tell my mother what she'd seen. My mom asked me if it was true and i told her yes even though i had not told her about every other day i was locked outside. I never went back to that babysitter again.
    My point? Neither my mom nor the woman who called to rip into my mother were beleivers. My mom is atheist to this day. But her actions did change once someone told her what was happening to her child. Whether it was shame or what? Who knows? But an unbeleiver can be told a truth and them change their behavior. I noticed an earlier post that seemed to say this isn't possible so why bother to tell her. I think love always says something. God has put his morals into the heart of man, so they are without excuse when they stand before Him one day. Romans 1:19-20
    Giving her the law would be good, not legalistic, for the law was made for sinners.

    Lets give the mom the benefit of the doubt that she is ignorant about homosexuality and what the bible says about it and the possibility that her son is being abused when he goes for sleepovers. But i think if she really loves her son and is presented with the truth and wants to protect her son he may never go there again. And maybe she'll stop promoting the lie he believes that being effiminate is normal.

    If she tries to pull the " well that's the OT" bit then 2 Timothy 3:16 speaks to that
    All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness...
    Notice it is all scripture and not just what is found in the NT.

    As well if she tries the " he was born that way" bit then

    Psalm 139:13-14
    English Standard Version (ESV)
    13*For you formed my inward parts;
    ****you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
    14*I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
    Wonderful are your works;
    ****my soul knows it very well.

    God very carefully makes everyone to be who they are and seeing as He finds homosexuality an abomination, we can be sure He didn't make them homosexual. That would be going against who He is.

    I am praying for this boy, his mom and hopefully that you will be able to present these truths to her some day soon, for that poor childs sake.

    Cansma

  11. #31
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    There is a difference here, though, and that is the difference between a scriptural and worldly truth. Leaving a small child out in a blizzard is both morally and "worldly" wrong. Not so for the behavior described in the OP. According to the world, the mom in the OP is right; he's just playing around and exploring. The idea of moral sin is revealed in scripture, only those with spiritual eyes and ears can see and hear. Paul says there is a distinct difference between Believers and non, and what we should expect of them.

    Now, if she claims to be a Christian, that is your in. If she claims not to be a Christian, then salvation is your in. I would suggest focusing on the fundamental problem, not the symptom, for in this case the symptom will never resolve or be treated if the foundation is wrong. The mom in question needs Jesus and the Holy Spirit. If she claims she already has them, then scripture can be brought to bear more effectively.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kliska View Post
    There is a difference here, though, and that is the difference between a scriptural and worldly truth. Leaving a small child out in a blizzard is both morally and "worldly" wrong. Not so for the behavior described in the OP. According to the world, the mom in the OP is right; he's just playing around and exploring. The idea of moral sin is revealed in scripture, only those with spiritual eyes and ears can see and hear. Paul says there is a distinct difference between Believers and non, and what we should expect of them.

    Now, if she claims to be a Christian, that is your in. If she claims not to be a Christian, then salvation is your in. I would suggest focusing on the fundamental problem, not the symptom, for in this case the symptom will never resolve or be treated if the foundation is wrong. The mom in question needs Jesus and the Holy Spirit. If she claims she already has them, then scripture can be brought to bear more effectively.
    Hmm- that made me think. Yes, i do agree with your post. I do keep thinking about the Romans passage though. I guess it is true from the mom's behavior that she agrees with the world's view of homosexuality. Giving scripture to show her error would be good but if she doesn't see it she would not be a believer, i don't think. But morally i think everyone's on board that potential abuse is not okay so that presented to her may be what stops her from sending her boy for sleepovers at least. But yes, i do know the bible says outside of Christ people overall cannot change their sinful behavior. I have to think more on how the Romans passage fits in here though. Good post.

    Cansma

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cansma View Post
    But morally i think everyone's on board that potential abuse is not okay so that presented to her may be what stops her from sending her boy for sleepovers at least.
    If enough people say killing children is okay because justifications here, they will. They already do this. Without Christ, her "morals" are like shifting sand.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cansma View Post
    Hmm- that made me think. Yes, i do agree with your post. I do keep thinking about the Romans passage though. I guess it is true from the mom's behavior that she agrees with the world's view of homosexuality. Giving scripture to show her error would be good but if she doesn't see it she would not be a believer, i don't think. But morally i think everyone's on board that potential abuse is not okay so that presented to her may be what stops her from sending her boy for sleepovers at least. But yes, i do know the bible says outside of Christ people overall cannot change their sinful behavior. I have to think more on how the Romans passage fits in here though. Good post.
    Yes, that is the big thing, God gives us wisdom to know how to act in each situation. Jude reminds us, for instance, to respond to some with gentleness and to warn others with hellfire. it sounds as though the best approach is as you said, to note the problem of a buse, etc., though it would be good to mention the others, too.

    However, if anyone has ever been to Scotland, they know that Scottish men do wear some kind of skirt. Certain things are cultural and not Biblical, as noted. I'm sure Scottish kilts aren't frilly - they're just plaid, if I'm not mistaken, and probably have little in common with girls' skirts. (Any Scotsmen out there know about this?) Maybe if the boy wants to wear something like that the mom can buy him a kilt - if they have them available anywhere. (Well, nowadays you can probably buy anything online.)

    That might be something you can talk about if she insists on letting him wear something like that, along, of course, encourage her to find good male role models for him. It would show you have an interest in talking with her instead of just lecturing, and might help her to listen more reasonably to what else you have to say.

    Quote Originally Posted by amazedbyGod View Post
    In response to your post, I feel like I should give you some insight into my situation. I was also a divorced mom with a son who had these tendencies. Although I didn't encourage it, I did nothing to discourage it. The behavior escalated, and I continued to make excuses for his behavior such as 'he's just sensitive and has a big heart' or 'he's just a mama's boy'.....
    And there's where the problem is with some parts of our society, where some mothers do rebel against letting their sons become too "manly" if they have had really bad father figures who were overly violent, controlling, etc.; or even, like my mom, if they've had great fathers but just awful marriages.

    I could never stand all the fighting kids did and to this day it strieks me as illogical, because of what I later learned was very mild Asperger's Syndrome. But, my mom put me with men - especially her dad - who were good, Godly influences. She got out of a marriage where the man drank and was verbally abusive and had vilent outbursts; no place for a mostly blind kids with hearing problems, let alone the Asperger's part (since I was 20 months then it wasn't apparent, and throughout childhood the difficulty was thought to be because of my vision).

    So, while I was shier and hypersensitive at times, I was still encouraged to show my big heart; I loved to help others and do things for my grandparents' elderly neighbors and really showed genuine concern for others. A friend of mine, in fact, whose father died when he was maybe 6 or 7 was the same; it was like, "This kid's more sensitive, direct him toward areas where men generally serve and help others so he can see how to be that kind of a leader." Today he and his wife are foster parents and have been for a number of years and he is the best foster dad I can imagine for the boys they get; a caring, Christian man who just always seems to know the right things to say and how to treat others - and it seems like he has always been that way.

    So, see why your friend wants her boy to be "girly" - maybe she has a bad experience in her life with a man? It's important for people like this to know that a boy can still be manly without fighting and trying to be the top dog all the time.
    John 3:16 (KJV) For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by I'm His View Post
    What do you all think? Am I wrong to feel an aversion to this behavior? Are their scriptures dealing with this?
    I am a little late to this... but while I wouldn't be concerned about a boy playing with his sisters toys, I do think that a parent has a responsibility to raise their children as proper young men, and women.

    As your friend points out, a large part of the issue may be a lack of male role models, but it is her responsibility to find good male role models for her child.

    There are a number of places she can find someone, but just punting on the issue, I think will cause this young man confusion and grief as he gets older.

    My .02 -Ted

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    I would use the word punting also...but...there is only said to be about 4% of the U.S. population gay.
    So a general stroll through the park, church, store etc., would show man and woman, as a couple.
    Yeah, on tv and such, what is actually 4% seems to be 75%, and I am evenly aware of single homes, but lets just stick to the average world. and unless the kid is blind or sheltered, there is a plain example of how to live. Even going to school, he'll hear stories of 'mom and dad'.

    When my nephew was about 6, after he (and his mom and dad, and lil' bro) left from a yearly visit, I looked at my wife, and said "he's gay". Sorta in jest, but sorta not. At age 9 I caught him trying on my girls shoes. I couldn't take it any more so I approached my 'rather manly' bro', and said.."uhm, uh, bro...your oldest is a lil'",....well he cut me off and said, "yeah, we know...what the heck do we do?".
    Now he's 11, and having trouble in school due to the fact of his 'fancy' ways.
    there is no lacking of attention
    no abuse
    no lack of Christian up-bringing. (bro studied to be a preacher for a while, not to mention grandparents etc...)
    Dad's pretty 'manly'
    and mom's a 'fly chick'
    the lil' guy's even an A student.
    his sibling is a regular sorta round house kid who goes through tennis shoes once a month

    Life is normal and yet it's still an issue. Sometimes things are just as they seem.
    \
    Oh yeah, after a life of Christian upbringing, one of my sisters kids is gay, my wife's bro is gay.
    I'm starting to doubt this "4%" population idea.

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    Some of this gay stuff is simply an exploration of sexuality. There is also the complex notion that "the other side has it easier".

    Too often, young men are not allowed to be young men, or are forced into being something they are not - even with 100s of flavors of manliness out there.
    As such they feel persecuted and seek to hide - sometimes as the other gender where they might just find acceptence.

    Perhaps many boys do need the manly-father-cares push.

    Sometimes they need the challenge of a good fist fight.

    Once they stand their ground, boys gain confidence.


    But with todays suppression of being a GUY (yea, we still need to suppress being a Jerk) boys will have a more difficult time growing into men.

    Kinda makes you think that world domination will eventually fall into the hands of societies like the muslims have.

    But then Benjamin was one of the strongest group of fighters in Israel, they also had a problem with young male prophets.....
    It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

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    Grady, I think a lot of them are "made".

    I remember a summer camp over 20 years ago. For some reason, because I had severe depression, they thought it would be a great idea to shove me together with a young man suffering from severe depression.

    He confided in me, told me everyone told him he was depressed because he was repressing the gay, and once he "came out" the depression would abate. Depression has never, and will never, work that way.

    He had what I would say a very minor interest in the gay lifestyle, but society, and his "counselors" told him he was gay and he was buying it. In fact, some of the other kids in the *Christian* camp started giving him a hard time when they saw him with me. "I thought you were gay! What are you doing with a girl?"

    I'm sure he eventually swallowed their "judgement" and decided to become gay.

    For the "comes from a good Christian home" gang: The gay lifestyle is promoted everywhere. It is glorified. I do believe they may have a genetic tendency, but the fact that society nurses and coddles that tendency, especially these days, makes it seem far more common.

    Remember the tree huggers would love to have the majority of Earth gay. Population control.

    " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

    Isaiah 6:8 I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “ Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

    Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

    Matthew 22:9 NIV
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    It's so sad when the propaganda of the social media gains a foothold in American familia. Then again, this is a tactic endorsed by the gates of hell and their accomplishments are many. Destroy the family values, destroy a country for the preparation of the AC. Paul tells us believers to be aware of the devices of the devil and to overcome it with righteousness.

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