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Thread: Help with Catholic husband!

  1. #1
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    Default Help with Catholic husband!

    I'm going to try to be concise, but I can't promise anything.

    First, I will give you a little background. I have been a born again Christian for as long as I can remember (I'm 47). I wasn't raised in the church and only sporadically attended church off and on. I unfortunately got caught up in Word of Faith, but was set free of that nonsense.

    I have been with my husband, Joe for 7 years and almost married for two. He is 70 years old and has been a practicing Catholic his whole life. He has been going to Mass almost every Saturday since we have been together. During this time period, I have been careful of what I say, because as you know direct confrontation is not always the best way to change someone's mind about their years of stinkin' thinkin'. I do want to add that we have incredible communication and Joe gives me the freedom to say what I want. I just need to do it with respect. He also admits that he doesn't know enough of what he believes to be able to defend it. This of course drives me a bit crazy.

    Anyway, for the last couple of years we have been watching Charles Stanley and Joe really likes and responds to him. A few months ago I gave Joe my KJV Bible and he reads it every morning and loves it. Joe has had a growing dissatisfaction with his church for sometime now. Mostly because he just isn't getting that personal relationship with Jesus that he has always longed to have. Music to this girls ears!!

    So, for my own reason and the encouragement of my husband, I decide it's time for me to find a church. Joe says he will even go with me and would consider leaving his church if he found something he could feel good about. After doing some online research about churches in the area. We mostly have Methodist and Baptist with one Catholic Church (that Joe goes to) and one giant Seeker church. After much prayer, I pick the Baptist church that right down the road from my house. It's not to big or small.

    We have gone for the last four weeks and this last Wednesday the pastor came to our home to talk. Joe and I really like him and the church. I'm ready to join! But Joe is still going to Mass on most Saturdays. The pastor was careful with his choice of words when talking with Joe and of course I respect him for that. My husband is a very intelligent man with a strong will and if he is to walk away from his Catholic faith the choice has to be his.

    However, the problem is me. After years of not really paying that much attention about what Catholics believe, other than the obvious stuff, I have become obsessed with learning about them. And the more I learn the more outraged I become. How can my wonderful, gifted husband buy into so much mindless drivel?

    And how can I argue (I mean lovingly debate) with Joe when Catholics don't believe the Bible is the ultimate authority and they have this thing called Tradition! What is that anyway!? Their websites are so full of mumbo jumbo with no clear scripture to back it up that my head explodes trying to make since of it all. Not to mention that I'm really tired of trying to make sense if it. I just want my Joe to depart from this heresy so I can get on with better research like the end times. Ya know?

    I do apologize for writing such a long post and thank you to those who read it. I could use some advise on how to proceed. I've been praying if I should back off but I don't think that is what God is wanting from me. I would really appreciate your thoughts, guidance, and of course prayers. This is a battle that the Enemy is NOT going to win.
    ~But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently~ Romans 8:25

  2. #2
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    Hi Teresa!

    Wow... well, check this out, if your husband is desiring a personal relationship with Jesus, then I have to say it's probably not time to debate Catholicism with him, but instead, maybe try some Bible studies with him, get that KJV out and read about Jesus together, let God's Word do the talking. If he's not saved, lead him to a saving faith in Christ, and let the Holy Spirit do the teaching. Don't focus on the bad, but on the good!

    Praying for you two!

  3. #3
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    Smile How To Win An Unsaved Husband

    totally!

    If your husband is moving toward a relationship with Jesus, let the Holy Spirit lead him as seems to be happening right before your eyes!

    Read this when you have time! s http://www.raptureready.com/resource/vess/vess0103.html
    Mary Brown

    John 15:18-25

    Revelation 4:1
    New International Version (1984)
    After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this."

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    Teresa, so many of us have Catholic family members (mine married into it and the rest is History) and I did the same as you. I wanted to learn everything I could get my hands on about Catholism and what you said is so true. The more you learn, you just get so crazy wondering how your loved one(s) can believe this nonsense.

    I am not Catholic but I want to tell you what finally got to me after years of God putting people in my life witnessing to me. I was raised in a Presbyterian Church and I didn't learn anything there. My dad it turned out was saved but who knew, he never talked about it, he just read the Bible all the time. I didn't even know what a Bible was and I don't know why my Dad never taught his children what he was learning. My mom used the church as a social club. My mom is 89 and it depends on who she is talking to as to what she believes. With me, she is saved, with my Catholic family members, they are okay and I am a trouble maker. I am telling you with my mom, only God knows her heart.

    When I was in nursing school my best friend was saved and witnessed to me all the time! My first nursing job, my nurse manager was saved and witnessed to me all the time! My friend's mom was saved and called me constantly to tell me I needed to be saved all the time! God sure didn't leave me alone.

    You are ahead of the game, your husband is at least listening. (I did too, well half listened, I was never disrespectful). But it was the word SAVED that confused me. It bored me. What did it mean? I dunno! I didn't care.

    One night I was with friends (a couple) and they invited me and the man in my life (yes, we were living in sin) to go to one of their friends house. Another woman was along that was saved and the man whose house we were going to was saved. When I think back I think they were trying to create a hook up. If I knew it was going to be a night of God talk, I probably would have stayed home but as I said, when God gets ahold of you, He doesn't let go.

    We were talking and I remember the subject of being SAVED came up again. Oh no!! The couple that took us were not even saved so I am surprised they even wanted to be in the presence of all these saved people.

    Okay, I had had it up to here about the word SAVED!!! I had no idea what that meant and frankly, I didn't care.

    But, that night the word SIN was brought up. I was told that someone had to pay for every sin of mine, past, present and future and it was either going to be me in Hell or that Jesus could SAVE me. Well, knock me over with a feather, that is what SAVED meant? Why didn't someone say so. It was an all nighter. Tapes were played (a Christain comedy tape that clarified alot) and it was explained how we all sin. As I said, it started to come together for both me and my gentleman friend (that I was living with). I had to understand SIN!!!

    On the way home I said to (lets call me Mark, my live in man) what he thought and he said he thought he wanted to be born again. He got that, now I was stuck with what is "born again"? I am sure it was talked about but that didn't register with me. We went home and Mark asked Jesus into his life and started reading the Bible immediately, never went to sleep. It was my Bible that my mom had given me in 1974, it was now 1986.

    The year previous I did something that was so horrific to my brain and I so regretted that I had a harder time believing that Jesus could forgive me so I was slower to come around. I felt like I deserved Hell and would walk there myself.

    I saw such a change in Mark that I wanted what he had. I later, about a month after Mark, asked Jesus into my life. When Mark became saved )before me) he put the brakes on sex, he didn't think we should live together etc. etc. I didn't want my life to change. He wanted marriage. I didn't, I just got out of a lousy marriage. He was many years younger than me. I had grown children, he didn't have any children.

    Once we were both saved, our relationship could not continue. It either had to be marriage or break up. I was so upset, I still wanted it my way. I was a baby Christian. We ended up having a couple years of a terrible relationship because we were torn, we were living in sin and you could not find 2 more miserable people (now I know that God was working on us big time) but still giving us free will.

    After a time we broke up. He went on to have 4 children and is a youth pastor and uses all his vacation from work to be a couselor at Christian camp. His wife is lovely. I could have been with him forever, I could have got married, but something wasn't feeling right, the age, it was a big mess. But out of that big mess, we are both more that GREAT at this time. If we had stayed together we would have been divorced, Jesus would have gone by the wayside, but God knew, we didn't.

    I am sorry I have just gave you a book but here is my point. If anything, I think that Catholics don't understand sin, just like I didn't. They know it exist but they don't really need Jesus because they have priests and the pope and the saints and the sacraments. With all of those things, somehow they are just hoping to get to purgatory. It is ludicrous.

    Since your husband is willing to listen, I would ask him is he knows he is a sinner. Once he acknowledges that and he must or the Holy Spirit has to keep working on him. Then he has to understand that sin separates us from God and will not be allowed in Heaven, only Hell. So we take our sins and pay for them in Hell or we take the free gift that God offered us, through His son Jesus and let Jesus pay our debt. Catholics donot understand this.

    Catholics have to understand that we will continue to sin until the day we die and no priest can forgive us. The priests are mere men that are sinners themselves.

    I read a Catholic forum and I have never seen so many mixed up people. They are never sure of anything. They are always asking each other if what they did is a venial sin, a mortal sin and how long do they have to get to a priest before they explode from nerves. They are full of anxiety, never knowing anything for sure. Will they go to Hell, Heaven, purgatory, which saint to pray to. I could not live my life that way, I would be terrified of dying and going to Hell.

    We are assured of Heaven, you and I. Is your husband? In a nice way, ask him? Ask him if he were to die tonight where does he think he would go and why.

    That is my answer to you. People can talk until they are blue in the face and until we take accountability for our sin, understand what sin is and make a decision about it, we will be perpetually lost.

    I will be praying and again I am so sorry for this long post. Catholics make me crazy, I am surrounded by them but I also love them and knowing how lost they are hurts me so much.
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  5. #5
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    Excellent post, HugsfromJesus! You really have a good understanding of what it means to be saved and how radically different it is from Catholicism.
    James McCArthy is a former Catholic who has written a number of good books http://jamesgmccarthy.com/books.shtml

    TA McMahon at the Berean Call is also a former Catholic and has written many articles for that newsletter http://www.thebereancall.org/search/node/catholic

    The late Dave Hunt wrote a very informative book about the Catholic church, A Woman Rides the Beast http://www.thebereancall.org/search/...%20the%20beast

    -Lynn

  6. #6
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    We have had numerous discussions on salvation and I have no doubt that my husband is saved. But what he doesn't have is a deep and real relationship with Jesus or a clear understanding that the Holy Spirit is right there with him. He knows it intellectually but it's not in his heart the way my faith is in mine. He envies that about me.

    I do think the years and years of unquestioning acceptance of what the Catholics teach has kept him from the relationship he seeks with his Savior. He also keeps telling me that Vatican 2 changed lots of things that used to be common practice, like Mary worship, indulgences, purgatory, etc. Yeah, not from what I have read.
    ~But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently~ Romans 8:25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    Excellent post, HugsfromJesus! You really have a good understanding of what it means to be saved and how radically different it is from Catholicism.
    James McCArthy is a former Catholic who has written a number of good books http://jamesgmccarthy.com/books.shtml

    TA McMahon at the Berean Call is also a former Catholic and has written many articles for that newsletter http://www.thebereancall.org/search/node/catholic

    The late Dave Hunt wrote a very informative book about the Catholic church, A Woman Rides the Beast http://www.thebereancall.org/search/...%20the%20beast
    I have read all of these people, in fact I am re-reading "A Woman Rides the Beast" right now. I got it not too long ago and read it and I am now re-reading it. It is fascinating. Thanks for the comments and the sites. Dave Hunt's site has great stuff. He was really into witnessing to Catholics and TA McMahon was also a former Catholic. Any name that starts with a Mc...think Irish Catholic..:-)
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa_1966 View Post
    We have had numerous discussions on salvation and I have no doubt that my husband is saved. But what he doesn't have is a deep and real relationship with Jesus or a clear understanding that the Holy Spirit is right there with him. He knows it intellectually but it's not in his heart the way my faith is in mine. He envies that about me.

    I do think the years and years of unquestioning acceptance of what the Catholics teach has kept him from the relationship he seeks with his Savior. He also keeps telling me that Vatican 2 changed lots of things that used to be common practice, like Mary worship, indulgences, purgatory, etc. Yeah, not from what I have read.
    Teresa, I am sorry that I misunderstood you but I wouldn't worry that your husband doesn't understand things like you do. He has been brainwashed for years and years. I also agree with you about these Vatican 2 changes. I can't see it. I think some of them now eat meat on Fridays, that's about it but most are still afraid.

    On this forum there is a pin at the very top of testimonies from people (RR posters) that got out of the Catholic church. Did you ever read it? It is interesting. Everyone was just a little different. I was never Catholic so I didn't have to escape but many still attended the church for years after they became saved.

    I am sure Buzz, one of our mods, won't mind me saying this as his testimony is there to read, but he is one of them that kept attending the CC after his salvation. Now look at Buzz, he is on fire for getting people to understand that Catholism is a cult. We, that were never Catholic couldn't possibly understand what they have to de-program from that mess they grew up in.

    Usually Buzz will show up in a thread about Catholism so he will be here soon, I am sure. :-)

    I will be praying...
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

  9. #9
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    I only have a minute, but had to come on and thank you all so much for replying to me. I will come back tomorrow and reread each post more carefully and the links that you all provided.

    He didn't attend Mass tonight and tomorrow we are going to church early for the Bible study class and then service. We are both looking forward to it.

    Thanks again!!
    ~But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently~ Romans 8:25

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    Teresa, you know something, you asked for prayer tonight. We prayed for your situation and your husband didn't attend mass. Coincidence? I don't think so. Prayer works!

    Always know that many people read posts and pray but don't comment. I am guilty of that alot in the prayer section as it moves so very fast so you just don't know how many people prayed tonight for you and your husband.

    Prayers continue...
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

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    Default I understand this thread completely ...

    I was raised Catholic ... show Catholic, only going Easter, Christmas & whenever my dad wanted people to see us there. There was no Christian love at all in this home, just chaos. Another story for another day.

    A Bible Study at my local Catholic church lead by a cop is what brought me to wanting to learn more about the Bible and Jesus. I started going to a youth group, invited by a classmate, at 15 and accepted Christ at 16 (almost 34 years ago). Let me tell you, the newly born again me wreaked havoc in my Catholic family! I started attending a church that taught many things that are not scriptural but the Holy Spirit always kept His grip on me.

    Fast forward to my mid-30's. I fell in love with a man was raised Catholic .. entire family Catholic. I, at the time, was backslidden. Non-Catholic marriage so, other than his Dad, his family doesn't accept me (he is 1 of 8 kids). I recommitted to the faith about 15 years ago. We've been together 18 years, married 17 years because this is the man God called me to marry. After 13 years of attending holidays with his family, I had to shake the dust off my feet and just stay in contact with his Dad.

    We went to a Christian church a couple times (Church on the Way), the prayer circles, raising of the hands scared him! We went to a Catholic church a few times but he said that it really didn't do anything for him.

    He understands he is a sinner, he is still struggling with his faith but we have spoken many, many times of what is required for real salvation, we've discussed the Rapture as well many times. He told me that he doesn't want to be left behind, he wants to go with us in the clouds. Told him he knows what he's got to do. Told him to watch all the Left Behind movies if he doesn't want to hear it from me. He knows that unless he is fully committed to Christ, accepts Him as his Savior, that he will go to hell.

    My husband is changing daily, says he can't believe what a different person he is today versus when we got married. I'm just loving him, speaking to him about Jesus when the Holy Spirit prompts me. I'm staying out of the Holy Spirit's way. He sees me watching Christian programs from His Channel, bible teachings and World News Briefing on my computer ... knows what I'm doing, told me I don't need to pause it when he comes into the room!

    Just thought I'd share my story with you.

    By the way, I am usually one of those that just reads the posts & don't post responses. I pray daily for my BIC & SIC for their prayer requests. I love everyone here more than you guys can know!

    (I hope I'm not a thread killer!)

    "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

  12. #12
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    There are a lot of ugly things about the catholic church. Many if not most catholics are ignorant of most of it. I wouldn't worry about husbands catholic past. Pray that he finds Jesus. And be the most biblical wife you're capable of being. It appears that he's close to finding Truth and that's wonderful.
    Tall Timbers

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    My DH was raised Catholic but was not devout. I am happy to say that today he is a born again, washed in the Blood, follower of Jesus.

    Never stop praying, dont give up!!
    John 1:29 Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world


    Revelation22:17 Both the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"

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    We had a good morning at church. The pastor is doing a study through the books of Acts. Today was chapter 16 and Joe and I both came out of church charged up on the awesomeness of our God.

    Pixelpusher, your post about not debating Catholicism really resonated with me. Just as did Tall Timbers post. If my husband has basically been going through the rituals all these years out of habit, should I really be the one to drill him about all the fine and deluded points of Catholicism? Probably not!

    Mbrown, thank you for the article. God knows my heart and how grateful I am for giving me this man. I just pray I don't mess things up by rushing and getting in the Holy Spirit's way. As my husband often says, I'm a very impatient woman.

    HugsfromJesus and Grtfull, thank you so much for sharing your stories. They meant a lot to me and I got much from what you both said. I like the idea of asking my husband where he would be if he died tonight. Trying to get him to fully understand and accept his blessed assurance has been a long time prayer.

    Lynn, thanks for the links. I love the Barean Call's website. I would love to send Joe some good websites to look at. What would you all suggest? I've thought about Carm.org, Appraising Ministries, Grace Through Faith, and Got Questions just to name a few. I don't want to overwhelm him or turn him off so maybe just one or two at a time.

    JoyJoyJoy, I will NEVER give up!!





    Disclaimer: Upon proofing reading this post it's become obvious that I love using smilies.
    ~But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently~ Romans 8:25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tall Timbers View Post
    . . . I wouldn't worry about husbands catholic past. Pray that he finds Jesus. And be the most biblical wife you're capable of being. It appears that he's close to finding Truth and that's wonderful.
    Excellent! This is the only answer you really need.

    And remember Romans 10:17 'Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.' God's very own Spirit will open his heart and give him understanding, just like he did Lydia, the seller of purple. The gospel of John and the book of Romans will do nicely. Thank you for your kind reply to those of us who posted already in this thread. Most people don't take the time to do that. It was very thoughtful. Thank you.
    It sounds like your dh is getting closer to the kingdom of God. Do keep us posted.

    -Lynn

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    Default Maybe this?

    Going through this ( http://www.moriel.org/Questions/5Q_c...roduction.html )together with him might be worthwhile.....
    Sola Scriptura - Scripture Alone
    Solus Christus - Christ Alone
    Sola Gratia - Grace Alone
    Sola Fide - Faith Alone
    Soli Deo Gloria - The Glory of God Alone

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    RCism with it's claims of authority for it's sacred deposit of oral traditions can make an impressive argument for itself. . .

    . . . but I found it completely inadequate with regard to Bible prophesy.

    It's embrace of amillennialism and replacement theology are weak points in it's narrative, and should be exploited liberally.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid View Post
    RCism with it's claims of authority for it's sacred deposit of oral traditions can make an impressive argument for itself. . .

    . . . but I found it completely inadequate with regard to Bible prophesy.

    It's embrace of amillennialism and replacement theology are weak points in it's narrative, and should be exploited liberally.
    Sid, I love that you are a recovering Catholic. A very good choice of words. Praise the Lord! If you get a chance why don't you look at the top of this page and add your testimony in the thread about saved Catholics and how you all finally went from a cult to the truth. Maybe you already did, I will have to check.

    Just know that many Roman Catholics that are on the fence read this forum alot and I would say that over half of the members here have a Catholic background but are now saved. I think that RR is such a great witnessing tool for Catholics that just aren't feeling it anymore. Many are doing some research of their own away from the RCC and their Catholic friends and family even while still attending the RCC that is their comfort zone from way back but they just aren't feeling so comfortable anymore.
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    Is Jesus your co-pilot? If so, then you better switch seats!

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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsFromJesus View Post
    I think that RR is such a great witnessing tool for Catholics that just aren't feeling it anymore. Many are doing some research of their own away from the RCC and their Catholic friends and family even while still attending the RCC that is their comfort zone from way back but they just aren't feeling so comfortable anymore.

    Thanks for the response, I posted in the testimony thread: #68

    The RCC is ateup with a lot of BAD THEOLOGY, but thankfully it isn't very good at teaching Catholics much of anything. Many Catholics are hungry for solid teaching and find much food on Cable TV, the Internet and message boards like RR.

    The Church finds itself in a Catch-22: if they improve the catechesis [religious instruction] of Catholics, they will be made aware of what RCism really teaches and find more to reject about it.

    . . . so Catholics will continue to marinate in ignorance and confusion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid View Post
    . . . so Catholics will continue to marinate in ignorance and confusion.
    Wow Sid, your testimony is me. I still go to mass and am active in my RCC. I'm new to this board and what I've learned here the past few weeks has convinced me what has been in my gut for over a year now...I NEED A NEW CHURCH! No wonder I've been lost and dead inside all these years. I'm working fast & furious to get my husband/kids saved in this 11th hour. Thank you.
    Lord, heal me, and I will truly be healed. Save me, and I will truly be saved. You are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

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