Having trouble again
I have trouble with my salvation. I am going back and forth between being saved and going to hell for unbelief. It doesn't seem to help no matter what I read on the assurance of salvation. I will be reading and then it will hit me that I'm truly saved and then the enemy comes and tells me it's not really true that I am saved. Its like I have OCD about my salvation. I have a settled peace for a day or two and then it's back to being dammed to hell forever. I could not stand to be sent away from the LORD, this upsets me greatly!! Is this working out my salvation?? Sometimes I have absolute terror at this thought. I have been struggling with this for years, sometimes better sometimes worse but it's always there at the back of my mind. If I am still struggling with this it probably means I don't trust what Gods word says, it seems so simple and yet the most difficult thing to have the full assurance of salvation.
I am out of work for about 6 months and I feel useless, hopeless and frustrated. I'm 55 and have no real skills just general labor. I would like to work but it's difficult to get a job at this age. But God has sustained my wife and I this long. I want this whole life just to be over it's been very painful and I don't know what to do. The evil I see going on in our country is almost to much to bear and I don't go out much anymore because I just don't want to be a part of this society anymore.
Any thoughts or comments would be welcome at this point, I need help.
IN CHRIST JESUS,
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.