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Thread: Daughter backsliding

  1. #1
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    Default Daughter backsliding

    She is in a relationship with an unsaved person, altho he is the most hard working, clean , and responsible BF to date. The big problem is that she lives at home with DH and I, she clearly knows what God says about being unequally yoked, AND she stays at his house nearly every night, comes home in the morning to shower, and get ready for work. I have admonished her, actually both of them, a few times about this, yet they continue . We have a friendly relationship with them, my husband actually knew bf from the Y, introduced them 3 years ago, but they started seeing each other steadiiy since last Oct. I am now at the point where I have to tell my dtr that the Bible says I should not even eat a meal with her. She goes to church most Sundays, tithes, I believe for "fire insurance", but she seems to think God will look the other way. She tells me they don't have sex, they are waiting for marriage in 2 years. She is friends with a pastors wife at church, who even told her to not stay in an unequally yoked relationship. But dtr does what they want, they are in love. My husband and I are fed up with our home being just a closet to her, she doesn't pay any rent here, doesn't contribute anything at all! She is always with his mother and him, like that's her new family. I really want to tell her to take her stuff and move out. I love her but I see the absolute idolatry here and it vexes my spirit. God is so good to us and for me to stand by and watch her defy HIM is very maddening. Please advise me so I don't push her away entirely.

    Thanks, Love,Sue
    " In the end, all we have is our relationship with Jesus Christ." Nearing Midnight

    Behold, HE comes, riding on the clouds , shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
    Lift your voice, it's the year of Jubilee, And out of Zion's hill, salvation comes !

  2. #2
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    Sorry to hear.

    Personally I would draw hard lines where I stand then just rest it at Jesus' feet.

    Always the hard part. Especially when it's an immediate loved one. To watch as they go down a path that shows us no fruit. Unfortunately that's the part of free will that hurts us the most. We see them drowning and know only Jesus can pull em out.

    I try not to close doors for God through my own behaviors. While I may not constantly harp a person for doing ill in the eyes of the Lord I don't shy away but I try and keep doors open.

    Sorry to hear for you.

    Praying for your daughter!
    Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

  3. #3
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    I agree with BorrowedTime and will pray daily for your situation, it is a hard thing to deal with our children who know the truth and how they should live but do not live it.
    John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

  4. #4
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    Praying
    Tall Timbers, Imperfect but forgiven

  5. #5
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  6. #6
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    Praying the boyfriend accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior!

  7. #7
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    Thank you, Mary Rae, for your lovely picture!

    "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
    ______

  8. #8
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    Praying for your daughter, that she honor Jesus and her commitment to follow Him and to honor her parents, praying God's will be done in her life also praying strength for mom & dad that decisions be made after prayer and seeking God. .
    John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

  9. #9
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    I thankyou all so much for your advice and encouragement! It is still the same after a week's time. I thank all for your
    prayers to our Lord as He is the One to minister to her and guide me me also.
    " In the end, all we have is our relationship with Jesus Christ." Nearing Midnight

    Behold, HE comes, riding on the clouds , shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
    Lift your voice, it's the year of Jubilee, And out of Zion's hill, salvation comes !

  10. #10
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    John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

  11. #11
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    Hi Waitin : wave, just wanted to offer some support to you. DH & I are going through tough times at the moment with all the children. I know how difficult this is for you - it's painful because we are older & hopefully wiser, so we know that paths our children take, when not the Lord's, hold so much pain & heartache for them in the future. We had a wedding with DS2 last year that we did not attend. We clearly set out our reason: marriage between our believing son & unbelieving fiancee. We talked at length with them to ensure she had properly heard the Gospel & knew why we could not attend. Up to that point, we'd quite liked her, but she turned very nasty because we would not attend. We know that son's walk with the Lord is affected by her because he can sure attend all the worldly things she wants to do, but she will not attend anything spiritiual. So he does very little now a days, church wise. Your daughter will go her own path though, I'm afraid & all you can do is gently point her to scripture & then pray.
    We have DS3 who wants to marry his unbelieving young lady. We have ensured she has heard the Gospel & explained to them both how wrong the union is. The pastor at his church will not marry them, so he's gone to an Anglican church where a wolf will marry them, who doesn't even know what salvation is. It's pure rebellion.
    But we must hold fast to the Word of God & not compromise no matter who is involved. It is hard to do because they are our children, but this is when we stand up for what we believe. DH & I know 1st hand it makes us very unpopular within the family - believers & unbelievers alike. But I just want to encourage you to carry on standing up for the Word, giving scripture when the Lord leads, & then continuing to love her. One day we pray she realises (you) the Lord is right & come to her right mind. The churches today with their watered down gospel, easy believism & no message of true sacrifice is sending our children, who were brought up in the faith, haywire. Makes our blood boil!
    Praying for you, dear one, that the Lord continues to sustain you.
    For Thou art my hope, Oh Lord God Psalm 71:5
    Being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you, will perform it to the day of the Lord Philippians 1:6


    MY TABLET CANNOT TYPE OR SPELL

  12. #12
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    When I was 18 yo, I went off to a Christian college, met a guy and we ended up getting married when I was 19 and he was 22. We're still married 15 years later and have three wonderful kids BUT we lived together briefly before we got married and were physically intimate. My parents, who I am very close to, knew what was going on and didn't really ever say anything. They were and are strong believers and I know it grieved them to see me sin like that, especially considering how I was raised. My husband was a Christian but not a strong one so I would say we were unequally yoked (though not in the same way as your daughter and her boyfriend).

    My point in telling you all this is I WISH my parents had drawn a hard line. I wish so much they would have said something - I may have fought them on it at first but I know I ultimately would have listened to them. I felt stuck in that sin, and if only my parents had done the hard thing and said something to me, they would have saved me from the grief and guilt that ultimately came as a result of it. I needed them to help get me out of it.

    I have no idea if this will encourage or help you, but I hope that it does in some way. I'll be praying God gives you the wisdom you need to handle your daughter in a way that will draw her back to Him.

  13. #13
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    Reading over this thread has made me realize something important. I had a family member draw a hard line with me and my unsaved significant other for similar reasons when we visited from out of state and we couldn't stay in their house, although they did attend the wedding. Long ago, and it did affect me deeply, although it took until now to see that God used it as part of getting me back to Him.

    What I realize is, when strong Christians draw the line and don't take part, they are denying the unsaved/backslidden person of their love and acceptance. They are really saying, "there are harsh consequences to your actions". They are providing a type of chastisement, that hopefully will be part of God's plan to turn that person back to the Lord.

    Stay strong, Waitin!
    "Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable,
    always abounding in the work of the Lord;
    knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

    1 Corinthians 15:58 (ESV)

  14. #14
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    My sister had a live in boyfriend.

    They broke up. She moved back in with my parents.

    She started "dating" him again. My parents made her move out.

    I lived with Ron before we got married. He had a lot of excuses why he couldn't marry me.

    One time, I asked my Dad for $100 to buy some work clothes so I could interview for a better job. He said no, because you are living in sin. He would meet me for breakfast and we would talk on the phone, but my Dad made it really clear he would not support any immoral behavior.

    I had nothing but respect for him.

    " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

    Isaiah 6:8 I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “ Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

    Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

    Matthew 22:9 NIV
    'So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’


    I'm praying for you daily!
    I get my Bibles here

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