Your initial post resonated with me on so many levels and I thank you for writing it. I think we both learned at a very early age that no earthly father could ever provide the type of love that only our Heavenly Father could give. I do not completely understand why God would take my dad away from me, only to replace him with someone who would abuse me the way that he did. What I have learned over time and through scripture, is that God is in control. He uses fallible people and situations to accomplish His purpose and will and He has done that with me.
I can relate with what you say about being able to really forgive someone. When I first heard the gospel I knew that it meant that I was forgiven, but it also meant that I would need to forgive my step-dad for what he did to me. What I knew in my head, did not necessarily translate so easily to my heart. While I have forgiven my step-dad for what he did, I think I am still in the process of healing from the experiences that I had when I was younger. I am still learning to allow myself “permission” to feel, trust, and live again without the emotions of fear and anxiety getting in the way.
Corissa, I look forward to "Part 2" of your testimony. I think most of us have a "Part 2" eventually added to our testimonies.
Sharing a testimony of God's saving grace, is something I'm sure the enemy would love to stop. You see, the enemy tries so hard to stop people from turning to Christ. Just as with you Corissa, you heard the voice shouting as you prayed. The enemy was desparate at that point in his attempt to stop you! One of my son's had a similar experience the night he gave his life to Jesus. He was praying and many voices were shouting things, just as you heard. The enemy tries to make us feel that we are not worthy enough, that Jesus won't accept us...we've gone too far and committed too much wrong, that it's all just a lie. But as we know, THE ENEMY is the liar and the deceiver! JESUS CHRIST WANTS ALL TO COME TO HIM! And, HE ACCEPTS EVERYONE! NO MATTER HOW GREAT THEIR SIN IS! I don't care what it is, JESUS loves you and wants you to become a part of His Kingdom and share in eternity with Him. He wants to embrace you (if only you'll let Him).
So come on RR family! Share YOUR testimony!
Somebody needs to hear it! Somebody will relate to YOU.
Come on everyone! We need to get this thread bumping. There are tons more testimonies that need to be shared. God can use these testimonies to reach the lost. Look at Paul, just imagine if you were living back in his day and Jesus appeared to you just like he did Paul. Wouldn't you want to share that with the lost to get them to repentance? He persecuted God's people, and then Jesus revealed himself to Him. WOW! That would be an amazing testimony to have, and, undoubtedly, none of us would be hesitant to share it if that were us.
Amen! Lets get this thread rolling! Let's leave a testimony for those who don't know Christ. We have walked some of those same ten thousands of roads that they are on now. Let's leave something for those who will be left behind so that they can see Jesus high and lifted up!
I wonder why nobody else wants to share their testimony. Maybe it takes too long to think about and type it all out? I was so enjoying reading the few that were posted (and so blessed too!) I was looking forward to many many more. I already feel so much closer to all of you who shared. Thank you!
My very first church as a born again christian, was in Long Island, NY. That church was sooo awesome! We all were a real family there. So much love and compassion was there. That church functioned as a church should. We were there 10 years. I'm convinced that part of why it was as it was, is because we shared our testimonies every Sunday night. Sometimes, the testimonies spoke more to each of us and to visiting unsaved folks, then the sermon did. And we all felt so close to each other because of the openess and sharing.
So c'mon sisters and brothers!
We'll just bump this up a few more times.
I mentioned earlier that I came out of a homosexual lifestyle.
I will clarify though that coming out of a lifestyle (read sinful lifestyle) is not a clear and cut thing. You don't just stop the behaviour one day and say I am totally healed. In my case, it didn't happen that way.
Coming out of homosexuality is hard. It's not a walk in the park. You have to deal with a lot of things....like past relationships with gay friends. I have a gay friend who don't know that I have turned to God. I am scared to tell him because I have a strong feeling that he will end the relationship. He won't understand. I know that I should, but I am waiting to see what will come out of this relationship. I have started to pray to God that He will move in Mark's life and that he will come to God. Maybe God will use me, who knows. I have other friends as well in St.Louis. They have no idea.
But I know that I must either cut the relationships or limit them for I know that those type of relationships will draw me back to the gay life.
I won't go into details about my past. It's a past that is dead and buried with Christ, but praise God, I am a new creature in Christ and I am alive in Him and that I, too, have the new life of Christ living in me and through me.
Yes, it is a struggle each day on whether to live like I did in the past or live victorously in Christ. Some days I fall...Hard. The Internet is not a clean and healthy place to browse around. But there are days, praise God, that I can say that I don't think or don't have the desire to be part of the gay life no more. I pray that I will have more days like that....that I can truly say that I have come out of the gay life and stand before God with a clear conscious.
There is hope...God-given hope..and that hope is through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. You can't get out of the gay life on your own. You can't just turn over a new leaf in your life. I have tried that. It doesn't work at all.
You must come to God in His way and be like David in Psalm 51...lowly and contrite, saying to God...I surrender and confess that I am a sinner, that I have rebelled against You, that I made a mess of my life.
Sweet surrender is hard. Hard because of the pride in one's life. But if you do just that..just surrender to Him, you will experience the joy, the peace, the assurance of Him in your life.
If God can help me to come out of the gay life, He surely can help you with your struggles. Nothing is impossible with God. Man didn't say that, His Son did.
FreeInHim, I am going to be praying for you brother. I have heard that it's all about taking one step at a time, one day at a time. It isn't as easy as some would think, who have never been there.
I do agree that you need to flee from those old friends. When I was first saved, I tried and tried to lead my old friends to Christ. But none of them wanted Him. They wanted to continue on in their ways. It is best to separate yourself from them, lest you be tempted. The Lord will bring new friends into your life, other believers, who will encourage you and be there to pray for you and with you. If you want to share with those old friends what Jesus Christ has done for you, perhaps you can write them a letter?
Maybe one day, when you know that you have totally overcome the temptation, the Lord might use you to witness to some of those old friends. But for the time being, flee from them brother. Everyone I know who refused to give up old friends, ended up back into a life of sin. "A fool returns to his folly as a dog returns to his vomit." (did I say that backwards? )
Flee from all temptation! And take your thoughts captive as well. Every sin begins as a single thought which we allow to turn into a wild imagining. When a thought enters your mind (a temptation), stop in dead in it's tracks. Pray. Put on praise music and thank the Lord for what He has already done in your life. I am so happy and thankful for His work in you! And He will continue it! Hallelujah!
Thank you brother for sharing that with us. I truly will be praying. The Lord will strengthen you! Day by day.
Last edited by Glory; March 7th, 2008 at 08:22 AM.
FreeInHim, Thanks brother for sharing.
I have a past drug addiction problem that was very similar in that it wasn't fixed overnight. I always thought "well if I can quit using, then I can be close to God again" THIS NEVER WORKED!! There was always something else sinful that was there ready to take its place. Then I would get discouraged and say "whats the use, if I'm going to sin I might as well make it worth while" and start using again. It wasn't until I said to God "Father I can't do it!, you have to clean it up for me you have to take me the way I am right now. I cannot clean up to come to you. I am a dirty sinful person and only you can fix this for me.
Well, just like you FreeInHim, things didn't happen over night. But I made the decision to make Jesus my God, to come home. He needed to be #1 in my life, and I knew that when I used drugs, the drugs became my god. I was done with that.
God helped me to give it up for him. He helped me to know that his love for me has NEVER changed, whether I was using or not. I am his son. He is my Father. I could always come to him, no matter how many times I screwed up. He NEVER closed the door in my face, he never left me alone. I was the one hiding from him.
I am that prodigal son. When I made the decision to come home, Jesus came running to me and I felt his arms around me. I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK! I am that little lostsheep that the Good Sheperd came to find. He picked me up and is continueing to hold me in his arms. The love that I feel inside from him is at times overwhelming! Oh Father how I love you too. Because you first loved me. It is so sweet that I can call the creator of this universe my Father.
FreeInHim, I will pray for you for your struggles in this life. Thank you for sharing your story. Remember that he that is in you is greater than he that is in the world!
I agree with Glory, FreeInHim. I still held on to the group of friends that I had before I got saved. For the longest time, I was able to overcome temptation because I looked to Jesus, but as soon as things started going wrong, who was there? My old nature friends. NOT a good thing. Perhaps, it is time that I write that second half of my testimony. I'll be praying to God for the right words to use. I shall be back with it later. God bless you all!
Last edited by heart_changed99; March 8th, 2008 at 10:02 AM.
Thank you all
This is a great thread!! I love testimony threads that declare the love and mercy of our glorious Lord!! Thank you all for sharing, I know the Lord will be using your words to break strongholds that keep people in chains, place hope into despaired lives and speak life and restoration into dry bones!!!
I could write a book with my testimony, but I'll try to turn it into a short story!! May He be glorified and magnified!!
Unwanted from the start my mother even tried to abort me herself with out success. I was resented and a burden from day one. I was abused by every adult in my life as a child, and felt no love or protection. Every adult had a different form of abuse, some very evil and severe and all destructive to a child. I was abandoned and more or less left to raise myself within a very disfunctional home.I grew up with an inability to trust anyone and I was very scared as a child. When I reached my teens, the fear turned to anger and self preservation. It was me against the world and they would not take me out without a fight. I got into every kind of trouble possible.I took drugs and drank from the age of 14 desperate to drown by feelings and destroy my memories!! My dad died when I was 16 and my life fell into even more chaos. My mom and me never connected, she hated me and I hated her it seemed at the time, but we were both just troubled tortured souls. She threw me out of the house a week after my dad died and I found myself completely alone.
Well miraculously (and I mean that!) I survived and made it into an apartment where I continued on my road to self destruction. My heart was cold and hard and I cared for no one. They had proven themselves to be worthy of my contempt! I got deeper into drugs and alcohol and lived my live in a stupor as much as I could. I was as nasty as they came, would stab my closest friend in the back if I had to!! I was unable to love so I hated instead. I had so much anger in my heart and pain I was out of control. Eventually I became ill with meningitis which nearly took my life and that calmed my lifestyle down a little. I met my husband and saw a glimmer of hope for the first time in my life!! This man put up with everything and still wouldn't leave me! I couldn't undertsand it. We still had drugs in our life but we thought we were in control of them now. I trained as a nurse for two years, only to develop epilepsy and had to quit. We got married and continued in a drug lifestyle. The pain and anger was still there, but I hid it with the many drugs I took. The doctor gave me prescription stuff too and I kept myself in a haze.
Then I miscarried and went over the edge for a while, but along came the next baby which picked me up until after the birth. The depression hit like a bomb!! All that supressed stuff came out big time!! I was psychotic and dangerous!! I needed my baby to be kept away from me!! I was terrified I'd do the same thing to her as the adults had done to me!! My MIL took her away to her house 300 miles away, so she was at least safe.With her out of the way I became worse!! I remember very little of that time, but I was heavily sedated for my own safetly and for the safety of others! Things calmed and my daughter came back, although I still wouldn't go near her! I loved her so much and I was so bad !! She was perfect and I was corrupt! My husband raised her mostly. I got a lot of treatement for my metal state, but nothing really worked. I was broken beyond repair it seemed. I trusted no one and hated everyone, especially me!
My MIL was Christian and she kept trying to get me and hubby to turn to God. We mocked her and thought her a fool. Christianity was for stupid naive people, we were too smart to be caught with that one! Well I had reached the point where I was desperate to try anything! My daughter was two and I still couldn't love her like a mom should and I knew I had to!! My MIL bought me a bible and pleaded with me to read it through, however long it took. I was spurised when I actually did!! It took from July-March to read it (most of it, missed huge chunks of the OT) The gospel of John was so beautiful. I wanted that love and so needed to believe it. I simply asked God that if He was real to show me but I meant it with all my heart! A few weeks later it was Easter and my MIL dragged us to the usual church service! This one was different from any I had went to before. Nothing to do with the church or the sevice, but the difference was me. I was open and as I listened to the sermon, I knew that God was speaking to me!! My blindfold was removed, He was REAL and He could help me!!! I ran forward at the altar call and gave my life to Jesus there and then!!! I cant express the feeling I had leaving that church!! My chains were gone and I knew it!! I'd been delivered and set free!! My heart felt alive for the first time and it didn't hurt!!! I felt joy and peace like I'd never experienced even with the drugs I took!!! I could love and more importantly I was LOVED completely, just as I was!! I could understand such mercy and grace, but I grabbed it with both hands and ran!!!! My life had been changed for ever!!!!
I tried to shorten it honest There you have it!
The story since my first meeting with Jesus has been even more amazing!!! Every family member at one point has made me choose between God and them, it was hard but I let them walk away, rather than walk away from my Lord and Redeemer! I've been to deaths door and saw His faithfulness and grace in the deepest of valleys!! My walk has been hard but Jesus has been my Anchor, and there are no words to express my love and gratefulness to Him!!! I cannot comprehend such love and grace, that He would set me free!! Who am I that He is mindful of me? It blows my mind on a daily basis and I just want to tell the world that He is the answer and He is enough!!!!!
Last edited by AllforHim; March 8th, 2008 at 11:24 AM.
Luk 7:47 "For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."
AllforHim, This scripture kept going through my head as I read your testimony. Your testimony made me cry. I've read it over several times and watched the beautiful video. I thank God that He was with you throughout all this tragedy. It has made you who you are today--totally in love with your Lord. It is inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
Praise God, All!