I think you have been given some good advice on both ends. So, if you want to go buy a lottery ticket, stop torturing yourself and go buy one......
Years ago, I use to play. Didn't think much of it at first, when I had money. It was not a habit or anything. Usually I only played if the jackpot was big. But funny thing about my personality. I actually expected to win each time I played...really I did, and I would be disappointed that I didn't. I would always dream of all the bills I could pay off and buy a nice house...pay for my son's college and buy homes and cars for my family. "Oh Lord, please let me win" was a prayer I had....the wrong prayer over the wrong things...then when I lost my job, I played even more...prayed even more. Was disappointed even more. Playing the lottery when I had no money seem to cause me to really want to win bad...real bad. I would wait purposely to check the numbers the next day, thinking how nice to have gone to bed poor and woke up rich.....I really was focused on winning the lottery!!!!
Now I am not saying this would be you, but in the end, I just did not want to play anymore when I realized God was still providing for me and here I was wanting the money to take care of "worldly" things...and so I never bought another ticket again.