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| Jokes & Humor Anything funny you would like to share? Proverbs 17:22 Keep it clean |
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#1
November 5th, 2009, 04:58 PM
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Mother in law
A fellow is walking down the beach and comes upon a bottle with a genie inside. He picks the bottle up, uncorks it, and the genie says, "Thanks for letting me out, I've been couped up in there for awhile. For your generosity, I will grant you 3 wishes, but understand, that only under this condition: whatever you ask for, your mother-in-law gets double." The guy agrees, and immediately asks for 2 million dollars. So, poof, he has a suitcase next to him, with 2 million dollars in it, and two suitcases with 4 million dollars is sent to his mother-in-law. His second wish is for a home in Beverly Hills, so he gets the deed to a home in Beverly Hills, and his mother-in-law gets 2 homes in Beverly Hills. Then the genie says, "OK, what is your final wish?" The guy thinks for a minute, and then says, "I want you to beat me half to death!"
__________________
 Proverbs 5:18-19 Rejoice with the wife of thy youth   
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#2
November 7th, 2009, 03:51 AM
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That one cracked me up!
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#4
November 8th, 2009, 07:39 AM
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__________________
My journey to Salvation was not finished when I accepted Jesus into my heart. In fact, it was just beginning. 
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#5
November 8th, 2009, 12:45 PM
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__________________
 "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so” -Ronald Reagan I don't get why MS Word has both a "New File" and "Save" option.
Shouldn't it just be one option called "Create or Save"? -FrankJ
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#7
November 9th, 2009, 03:29 PM
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my MIL is a sweetheart.
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#8
November 9th, 2009, 04:22 PM
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Actually, my MIL from my first marriage was a far nicer person than her daughter.
__________________
There is so much good in the worst of us And so much bad in the best of us That it little behooves any of us To belittle the rest of us
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#9
November 10th, 2009, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 A closed mouth gathers no feet. Unknown Inside there's a thin woman trying to get out. I'm keeping her sedated with chocolate
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#10
November 12th, 2009, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
__________________
.
... if thou shalt confess with thy mouth Jesus as Lord, and shalt believe in thine heart that God has raised him from among [the] dead, thou shalt be saved. Romans 10:9
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#11
November 13th, 2009, 09:02 AM
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My mother in law is a nice person.
So I apply all the standard mother in law jokes to my ex sister in law instead. Once while posting a recipe online, I couldn't resist the joke I suddenly realized I'd set up: "I was looking for something fast, cheap, and easy--besides my ex sister in law, that is."
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#12
November 13th, 2009, 09:27 AM
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__________________
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#13
November 13th, 2009, 11:14 AM
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A man was severely burned on the lower part of his face in a work accident. The doctor decided that he needed a skin graft to repair the damage and since he was a very hairy person on his thighs, legs, and back; but nowhere else, the doctor decided that the only suitable area to take the graft from was his buttocks. After the operation to do the graft he asked his wife not to tell her mother where the grafted skin was taken from. When she asked him why he replied "I don't really think she needs to know why I am suddenly going to start smiling so much when she kisses me on the cheek"!!!!
__________________
There is so much good in the worst of us And so much bad in the best of us That it little behooves any of us To belittle the rest of us
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#14
November 15th, 2009, 02:11 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Chris Baez, Jr. 
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